Not so....Down in the dumps...now *thanks*

[Tracey M]

Today I'm a week late for AF and getting nothing but BFN on tests. I think I'm gonna go away for a while from forum cos I'm getting a bit obcessed with it all and think that maybe the stress is keeping AF away.

I was in tears last night cos DH got on at me for NEVER initiating sex. I was soo tired last night I just put light off and fell asleep intantly then he decided to wake me up and ask.....Of course then I got upset cos I'm useless and now I think he will leave me for someone who is good at initiating. what got me even more upset was that as some of you remember we had a chat about this on forum and I did actually jump him one day 2 weeks ago (so how can he not remember).

I feel a failure, crap wife, crap mum and crap at trying for a baby. The last one I've no room to talk as on cycle one so now I'm a crap PF friend

Sorry just getting myself all upset now as typing better go

 

[kizzibea]

TTC is stressful & it can get you down. Perhaps a bit of time away can help you feel a bit more positive about things. Take some time and relax, maybe a little treat for you and OH, a nice meal or a film together or something.

& you know we're all here for you.

 

[LouiseB]

Aw Tracey

I can understand why you are stressing out.

Your hubby clearly thinks that you are just being lazy - so maybe you need to explain to him that you simply don't know how to initiate sex without feeling like a big fat freak (that is how you feel, not what i think btw) and you need him to help you understand what is good way to initiate and for him to let you know that he is enjoying it more.

A break is a really god idea. So many people threaten to have a break, including myself, but get pulled back into it and it just isn't healthy.

If you wanted to be here, you wouldn't need a break

You need a break, so go cold turkey and have one and sort your head out.

I really need to follow my own advice on this one i think too.

 

[Kezzamunster]

Oh hun, please don't ever think that about yourself like kizzibea says TTC can be stressful on us ladies & your no way a disappointment or failure to anyone
A treat for you & OH sounds like a fab idea, good thinking there
Lots of hugs & kezzamunster kisses on the way
xxx

 

[Tracey M]

Just gone home for lunch.....AF here. .

 

[mummy24]

Aw trace my oh used to have ago at me saying it was him all the time
Am like Wooo how can you say that it's what I like him working for it! Men just don't understand

Did I just read afs got you!? xx

 

[EmmBee123]

Tracy.

We all get down from time to time, OH and I had a similar argument a couple of weeks ago and I felt just the same, crap wife, crap in bed, big fat freak (I did feel like that Lou). Have to agree with Lou, if you talk to him, it might clear the air a bit.

As for taking a break, do it, relax, spend some quality time with hubby.

 

[LouiseB]

Just gone home for lunch.....AF here. .

Oh bollox - so sorry Tracey

At least you won'tt have to carry around pots of pee and you're well stocked with HPTs for you BFP next cycle

 

[Tracey M]

E

Just sitting here sobbing and my husband does not know what this means to me. If I tell him I got my period he'd be like "oh".... words just jumbling on screen I can't see....

 

[mummy24]

Aw men can be so hurtful at times my oh needs a medal for being
So insensitive as long as he gets his end away he's not bothered about anything
T**T haha! I hope ur going to be ok huge hugs from me hunni you've been so strong xx

 

[kizzibea]

Tracey, sorry she got you.

Like Louise said, you're well stocked for the next cycle, in the meantime, relax a bit & pamper yourself. You deserve it.

 

[SunnyGirl]

Tracey I just wanted to give you a massive hug when I read that. You poor thing what a shitmunch of a day.

TTC is so stressy - I was about to post a down in the dumps thread when I saw yours - I am feeling the same damn way. It sucks no AF and BFNs.

I am so sorry AF is here as well. Seriously you need some treats or something to help you feel better hun. I know it won't make up for anything but it could help a wee bit

As for your hub, like everyone says, just talk to him about it with a big step back ie non-emotional. There are so frequently imbalances in sex drives and sex harmony (if that makes sense) and it is only when there;s no talking that there becomes a problem. I have been through this and we just nattered and it got sorted out. Otherwise fears build up silently and that causes friction and resentment yada yada so on so on.

A big cup of hot choc, a chat with hubby and a cuddle will really help.

Love to you xx

 

[LouiseB]

Just sitting here sobbing and my husband does not know what this means to me. If I tell him I got my period he'd be like "oh".... words just jumbling on screen I can't see....

Crap, i can't stand the thought of someone just quietly sitting there sobbing to themself... Go and get in bed Tracey, have a good bawl into you pillow and sleep it off. You'll be able to deal with it so much better if you are rested.

I remember when i was so blindly optimistic that it was hard to process the shock of it not turning out how you deserve it to

 

[rachaellouise]

Oh Tracey
I am so sorry you are feeling so down.
As everyone has said TTC IS stressful on us girlies and men just do not understand this!! To them all they have to do is 'have sex' thats it!
To us it is a lot more than that, we need to keep track of our cycles, try and work out when we OV to pin point the best chances etc. There is a lot more pressure on us.
I went through years of never initiating sex, slightly different circumstance though as I was on meds and had no sex drive but now I am the one doing ALL the initiating! So much so I had to say something to hubby the other day and he did initiate it the next time but now I think I am back to doing it all again, but only because I know when the best time of the cycle is to do so, he does not really take much notice of everything TTC wise I tell him.

I am sorry Af got you, heres to next month!!

 

[Tracey M]

Thanks girls you are all so nice. I'm proper sobbing so much my head hurts ....gotta get my shit togethet back at work at 2.30. Ill be ok by tonight when I get this behind me and look forward to next month. At least I know my cycle is 35 days now. Oh and I still feel sick blah

 

[kizzibea]

There's no harm in having a little cry to get it all out there, no sense bottling it all up. AF is guaranteed to make you feel shitty. Like you said, at least you have a figure to aim for next cycle.

 

[Tracey M]

Well girls I'm back at work, put on a fresh face of make up, brushed my hair, took a couple of painkillers for my thumping head, blew my nose etc....

At the beginning of this thread I was saying how I thought I'd leave forum for a bit but after the support I've had over the last hour there is no way I'm leaving! I have taken off my email alerts (which beep on my phone all the time) and I will pop in twice a day. In the morning when I get into work and when I get home but before my DH gets in. He has been getting on at me about how I spend ALL my time on my mobile and hes right. 9 times out of 10 I'm on PF so that's gotta stop. Maybe once I've caught up on my workload I'll be on more often during day but for now I'm gonna chill a bit.

I'm already feeling more positive. I now know my cycle length so I'll get some OPKs for next cycle and do them properly this time cos I never got a positive last cycle. Hey maybe I'll get my BFP the same day I did with my son - 31st December!!! It wont be a xmas pressie but could be a New Year one!

Hats off to all you girls who go through this month after month I dont know how you do it!

Can anyone recommend a good batch of opks on ebay cos I'm not convinced the batch I got last time were any good....?

So thank you girls for all your hugs and I'll talk to DH tonight and tell him what's going through my head and maybe we can find a solution.

HEY - I'm going out in Edinburgh tomorrow night with my mate and we've booked a hotel and everything! I'm now gonna have more than 2 drinks, I'm gonna also pig out on something really fattening....so there!

 

[kizzibea]

Aw That sounds good. I like to have things planned out too.

I think the best seller for OPKs is fertility plan... perhaps someone else can check for me. I bought some cheaper ones last month and they're okay but not great, but I think the ones I had before came from there and I really liked them.

Does this mean that if we see you on here during the day we should shoo you away then? Because I'd rather share than throw things.

 

[Tracey M]

Yes feel free to shoo me away if its between 9.30 am and 5pm (but not today cos I need you guys) Oh and I may pop in at lunchtime for a quick peek lol

 

[linxminx21]

aww tracey i am sorry your having such a hard day hun. i think all us girls on Pf have had these days and there not a nice place to be on your own. as the girls have said were always here, theres always one of us stalking these forums so ur never going through anything on your own big and i hardly ever initate sex either but iv started doing it now, its a bit embarrasing coz i think mmm what if he isnt in the mood!!! silly eh! but i honestly do. now when i need to i bloody jump on him. im not confident and hate my body too but i even pushed myself to dress up for him at the weekend and i felt sooo sexy it was unreal
i really hope you feel better soon hun and good luck in ur next cycle xxxxxx