No need to reply... I just need a rant!

[LaurenMM]

Hi guys

Really hope you dont mind me doing this. As my good friend on camp has just had a c-section and baby is neonatal I feel I cant bug her with this I might've mentioned before I have a very difficult relationship with my mum but its reached a point where I need to get it out now!! Like me she is very opinionated and has a short fuse if the wrong thing winds her up. Unlike me however she thinks she right about EVERYTHING - even things shes never experienced or been through and I'm sorry if this is harsh but shes selfish. She doesnt think before she speaks and if she offends you she will not apologise or even acknowledge it.

I've told her some of the baby names weve planned and literally with some of them her exact words have been "you're not naming my grandchild that" "thats a f**king horrible name" etc. Literally telling me what I can and can't name my child, its got to be something she likes.

Next year when LO is nearly one me and OH want to take our first family hol. I had an idea that we'd invite his mum and stepdad and sister and my mum, dad and sister so we can all share and experience her first holiday together. I thought this was really nice of us to be honest cuz not many people would go away with their parents anymore lol. OH's family were so nice and grateful and all my mum said was "oh did you even think about taking pushchairs, nappies, bottles etc, it wont even be a holiday" and that she'd think about it. Obviously I am not dumb I know I will stuff for the baby!! Then when i went to visit she said she wanted to take her away on her own! I was errrm I don't think so, I said it's nice and everything but I know I'll be anxious enough leaving her for a few hours, let alone having someone take her abroad away from me and Lee - even if it is her Nan. I said I'm sorry Mum but there's no way, I'd be too worried and paranoid etc and shes my daughter. All she said was "we'll see"!. I'm so sorry but WHAT THE F**K? She thinks she has a right to whisk my daughter abroad away from me and OH - think again!

Everytime I go home (even before I got pregnant) I would be told "you're getting fat/chubby". I used to be a size 6/8 before I met OH and I went up to a comfortable 8/10 and throughout my pregnancy I've only gone up to a size 12 in non maternity clothes and even some of my size 8 tops still fit!! Sometimes I just laugh it off, it's not like shes got the perfect figure but other times I think 'you're my bloody mum, act like it!'. She cannot keep a secret to save her life either. Everything I've asked her to keep to herself, shes always told someone. Ie when I first lost my virginity I told her to keep that shushed and she promised she would, next thing I know my Dad knows about it! Did my Dad really need to know that? No. I was being 110% safe and I did with a long term boyfriend. End of. If I walk into the room I'll get "err I dont like that top on you" "I don't like your hair like that". If I say 'mum I need to talk to you' ie if I just need to vent, no advice, just someone to listen, she'll interrupt half way through "I've been through a lot worse than that" "Oh that's just like me..." Instead of just listening she has got to make everything about her!


There is alot more situations I could go into but I won't... strangely though after typing all this out I feel so much better.

Like I said I really dont expect any replies, just needed to get this out xx

 

[HeppiBean]

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time. My Mum and I didn't get on AT ALL when I was pregnant, and for years before that but ever since Cesca arrived we've been getting along really well. Hope you manage to sort something out with your Mum.

As for taking the LO away... NO WAY will ANYONE be taking Cesca away from me for a holiday until she's like 5 or older!! I don't even want to spend a night away from her until she's at least 6 months old!! Stand by how you feel hun! At the end of the day, you're the mum and what you say goes

xx

 

[pinkyprincess]

Family can be so stressful! I hope she chills out and realises what she's doing xxx

 

[LaurenMM]

I hope so too sometimes she can be so lovely and I dunno just mummy-like, but most of the time shes like I mentioned above and it really upsets me xx

 

[Bee7]

Bless you hun, you know what they say...you can pick your friends but not your family!

I'm lucky to have a really supportive mum, we've always got on great and i can tell her anything. My OH's mum, on the other hand, is (forgive me) an old hag. She constantly has a comment to make about everyone and everything. Always slating someone in the family. I've had some pretty big blowouts with her in the past because shes poked her nose into mine and OH's business and said some really awful (and untrue) things that have really caused problems between us. We've made peace now for the sake of the new baby, but i can already predict that the bitchiness will start soon after baba arrives. I'll probably be accused of not making enough effort or not wanting to visit her constantly...sorry but i'll want to spend time with my baby not be surrounded by people i'm not even particularly keen on. If she, or anyone else, ever wanted to take over and try and take MY baby away from me knowing i wasn't keen on the idea there'd be hell to pay. Stick to your guns hun!

At the end of the day, its different when its your own mother. I don't HAVE to get on with OH's mum. But when its YOUR mum you don't want to be at loggerheads, you want her support, especially at a time like this. Have you tried speaking to her in a really calm way about how you feel? If she takes it out of context or gets angry then you can always walk away, but she may not realise just how much her behaviour is getting to you. Or maybe you could put it all down in a letter, that way it would give her time to digest your thoughts. I hope it works out for you hun xxx

 

[Cazzlou]

my mum is very similar to yours!! i wouldnt tell my mum anything as ive learned now not to.

She slags me off online to her friends telling blatant lies, always talks about herself, took until i was 13.5 week pregnant to tell her as she never let me get a word in edge ways and first thing she said was ' i hope its not a boy i dont like little boys'
She has my niece and newphew all the time but not my dd lucky if she takes her once a month for a day. She never comes to my house i always have to go there and i work. She doesnt.
Shes jealous of things we have yet she chose not to work etc.

the latest thing of her slagging me off online has really annoyed me shes basically made out i will have nothing to do with my sister who has DS if anything happens to my parents which is all lies as she knows full well ill always take on my sister when something happens. Shes made out im getting everything in my nans will which is rubbish as she gets same as me and the rest is for my sisters future.

Im so angry at the moment but cant turn round n tell her as she will wonder how i know.

She is all nice when she wants to borrow something - namely my dresses and tops !!

so i kinda know how u feel and i just think sod it - im happy in my own family and thats all that matters.

x x

sorry ive ranted a bit now

 

[BevG]

wow cazz your mum sounds like shes trying to act like your jealous sister, these women need to grow up badly.

 

[LaurenMM]

Sorry to hear you're in a similar situation Cazz mine has come to visit once since I moved to Northern Ireland, which was my bday and she only stayed for one night and my OH had to convince her to come. And even though it was my birthday it was my OH who stayed in a cooked for her, my dad and my sister because she said she was scared to go out (my OH is forces) I mean please!!! I go out, I work etc you just keep to yourself and dont be stupid. I went to visit her in March, for ten days in May and I've just returned from a week at the start of the month, even though I was 32 weeks pregnant and an 8 hour ferry journey plus a and 2.5 hour car journey is the last thing you want when you're pregnant! I work too and I'm the one whose had to book time off, spend yet more money travelling etc. She works too fair enough but she has every other weekend off from the Friday to the Monday so theres no excuse there!! My sisters been at uni for only 2 weeks and already shes visited her 3/4 times, I know her uni is only an hour away from where mum n dad live but its not the point

I have tried so many times to speak to her calmly and on more than one occasion i've said (in the nicest possible way) you really offend/upset when you do/say this etc and she just says "well you do it me so ya know..." or she starts shouting at me, saying I'm accusing her of being a bad parent and I dont know anything about raising a child etc. In other words, shes getting a taste of the truth and she hates it and wont hear anymore xx