Hi Kylie & Kim!
I know how you feel - it's soooooooooooooooooooo frustrating isn't it? You just assume that once you come off the pill & start TTC properly that it'll happen within a couple of months - god, I can recall months in years gone by when we were wondering if I'd 'caught' when I'd had a stomach bug or forgotten a pill or 2 - how naive eh?!
We really are at the mercy of mother nature at the end of the day - even with all our ov. tests, counting of cycle days, checking of CM, BBT, etc etc etc - it all comes down to luck - argh - I HATE not being able to control & influence things!!!!!!!!!!! (I'm a bit of a control freak usually!)
In all, since I came off the pill, it's been a year & 3 mths since we started TTC but realistically, as a result of various tests & my minor exploratory op & starting the clomid in Feb, I guess it's only really been 3 months where we've stood a fighting chance, so I TRY not to get down about it & think - well, it'll happen in the next 6 mths, but I have really BAD days when I'm soooooooooooooooooooooo negative & over-emotional etc etc etc - poor hubby!!
It doesn't help when you're surrounded by babies either eh?! I've got only 1 friend who's also trying & having problems - everyone else I know - friends, friends of friends, neighbours, wives of hubby's work colleagues, my work colleagues, even the ruddy celebrities, are all s@ddin pregnant or have young babies!!!!!!!!!!!! God, it winds me up sometimes!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sick of buying baby cards & pressies for OTHER PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've got a close friend & 2 close neighbours who are all pushing newborns round at the moment under my nose & although I'm genuinely happy for them, I can't help feeling INCREDIBLY jealous at the same time - they ALL got pregnant quickly as soon as they started trying!! Soooooooooooooooooooo unfair!!!!!!!!!!
I've got 2 close friends (1 of whom I see nearly every day) who have also come off the pill & are TTC at the moment - they both came off in Oct last year but their periods settled down immediately & they're both testing pos. for ovulation every month & I feel like it's only a matter of time before they conceive - I'm ashamed to say that I find myself almost holding my breath waiting to be told their news & I desperately don't want them to get pregnant before me - purely because I don't know how I'd cope - how awful a person does that make me??!! I feel so guilty but I can't help it!!!!
Hubby is fantastically supportive & understanding & we talk about all of this a lot, but I don't think even he can REALLY 'get it' - it's only other TTC women who seem to just know what I mean - do you guys find that??!!
Blimey - how depressing eh?! SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's all think positively & keep hanging in there & helping each other stay sane!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kath.
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