Needing help with husband.

[violet13]

Well I'm coming towards the end of my pregnancy and I'm now struggling to do certain things, all I've asked my husband to do is keep the kitchen in order and do the dishes....has he? No. I'm fed up of being the maid, I scrubbed the house and I mean literally right through and he comes home after work and plays on his Xbox I don't mind as I play on it too but it's the same every single night and all through the weekend too, I really won't be able to keep doing this with a newborn too I've tried talking to him I've even yelled a few times now due to sheer frustration we have dogs so I'm trying to keep the house clean as obviously they don't mean to make any mess even though it was obvious one dog had chewed a rope toy up into shreds he didn't bother to pick it all up not does he put DVDs or games away just leaves the boxes on the side. I'm not his mother and I am certainly not his fecking maid. I don't know what else to do. I can't keep cleaning all the time and if I don't do it it never gets done. He never throws things out as in bottles and bottles of men's cologne from years ago, stupid childish things that he wouldn't part with as in old school books etc he's almost 30 And he can't even think to tidy up and I am seriously considering me and baby leaving we've been married a year and a half!! He won't listen and always asks why when I ask him to put something away....I just want to punch him if I'm honest. It's gonna come to a point where in exhaustion I'll kick off I have patience but that only lasts so long. Xx

 

[Unicorn]

I know this may be missing the point a bit but have you considered getting a cleaner? Hubby and I both hate cleaning, to the point that I would sit and cry everytime a hoovered our stairs, sobbing that I was wasting my life, yeah, a little dramatic I know, but seriously, I don't spend all my time working to come home and clean my bloody house! So, we have a cleaner who comes for 3 hours ever other week and costs us £36, so £72 a month or £36 each and you can certainly find some for £10 an hour or even less! It may just be worth it for the timebeing to reduce your stress levels whilst you've got more important things to concentrate on? And then when the baby is here you can pop out for a nice walk whilst your house is being cleaned xx

 

[sarah120281]

Hi,

I have one child now a toddler and one on the way, my husband works full time and I work 30 hours per week. Till 6.30pm everynight then we pick our daughter up. The way I deal with cleaning is keep on top of it, so it's take avout 30-45mins a day then it's not always piling up. When the whole house needs a clean all at once it can become exhausting. Organisation is key when you have children, as this also helps maintain routine
as for the husband, men are quite like children, if they don't seen something is a problem they don't acknowledge it, they leave it. Women are different they become bothered by things men clearly don't acknowledge. It's hard but men are always going to be like this they are programmed slightly different to us. My husband will do cleaning if I ask him but my standards and his differ lol. He does all the cooking. My cooking is not top notch so he gets the bonus points there. I'm the organiser and cleaner. He's the chef. So he does put his efforts in. Surely your hubby contributes a little. If not, he may need a sitting down and a harsh word.

Sarah

 

[tinselcat]

Maybe start binning the stuff that he can't be bothered to put away? Sounds a little dramatic but you never know it might get the message home quite quickly... "why should I put it away?" "because otherwise it'll go in the bin".

You are quite correct, it is bang out of order for him to be treating you like a domestic house servant, and you will need much more support when the baby arrives.

Perhaps as a first step sit down and have a very frank chat with him? xx

 

[jessizz345]

Just don't loose your patience. You will need more support from him when the baby comes. Just sit and talk with him and convince him.

 

[CarinT]

Yes just a talk would do.

 

[soni456]

I too agree with Jessizz345 and Carin T.

 

[mylullaby]

In your shoes I would honestly draw up a list of chores. Broken down into daily / weekly / monthly. Then sit down with oh and agree on who does what. You can compromise by taking on each other's least-favourite jobs or something. It's not always easy keeping on top of housework and very few of us actually take pleasure in it. But it will only get harder once baby arrives (which is when you need to reassess the jobs list, by the way, and make sure things are still balanced when baby / work patterns are taken into account) - you're not his mother and you're not his maid, but unless you do something different (ie that he can't brush off as "nagging") he will always be the same. X