Sadly, my little miracle wasnt to be.
Late Monday evening I was unable to sleep and got up to get a drink. Without going into too much detail, the speed and intensity of what happened in the following 15 mins was the most traumatic experience of my life.
I was admitted to hospital at 3am and hooked up to an iv awaiting a scan, which I had to wait till 3pm for. Given what I had already passed (very very heavy bleeding with huge clots), nothing prepared me for seeing there was still a sac there. I think that was possibly the hardest part, as some foolish part of you thinks that maybe it could be ok...even though even I could see it was empty and deflated looking.
Dr came to speak to us at 5pm and I was given 3 options, go home and wait for the rest to come away naturally, take tablets to speed up the process or surgery. I opted for surgery, as I couldn't bear the thought of having to go through the sensation of bleeding and feeling my body give up my baby again.
Emotionally, I'm coping better than I thought at the moment, I could never visualise myself with a baby so part of me kind of expected something to happen. The hard part is accepting that it was probably my last and only chance given my history.
I hope others go on to have happy and healthy pregnancies.
Late Monday evening I was unable to sleep and got up to get a drink. Without going into too much detail, the speed and intensity of what happened in the following 15 mins was the most traumatic experience of my life.
I was admitted to hospital at 3am and hooked up to an iv awaiting a scan, which I had to wait till 3pm for. Given what I had already passed (very very heavy bleeding with huge clots), nothing prepared me for seeing there was still a sac there. I think that was possibly the hardest part, as some foolish part of you thinks that maybe it could be ok...even though even I could see it was empty and deflated looking.
Dr came to speak to us at 5pm and I was given 3 options, go home and wait for the rest to come away naturally, take tablets to speed up the process or surgery. I opted for surgery, as I couldn't bear the thought of having to go through the sensation of bleeding and feeling my body give up my baby again.
Emotionally, I'm coping better than I thought at the moment, I could never visualise myself with a baby so part of me kind of expected something to happen. The hard part is accepting that it was probably my last and only chance given my history.
I hope others go on to have happy and healthy pregnancies.
