I've found it really hard, harder than I thought it would be. Maybe I was naive, actually yes I think I was! I had Ella and thought how wonderful and great it was and I felt really broody, I fell pregnant with Alex when she was 6 months old. There is a 14 month and 1 week gap between them. I wish I had waited until she was older, say the gap was 2-3 years as it's starting to get a little easier now. There have been days when I truly haven't wanted to get out of bed as I have been so frustrated with the monotony of changing endless pooey nappies and cleaning up after meal times, being screamed at from the moment they wake up til they go to bed. But it's not all bad, I can see that they've really got a bond forming and I can't wait til next year when Alex is walking, Ella's that bit older etc. I do feel that I have sacrificed time with Ella by having Alex, I can rarely give either of them my full attention. It's not easy to take them out, when you have one you can grab a bag, jump in the car and go out for the day. With two, especially when the first is a few months old it's a lot harder. I get very anxious when we're out as Ella still requires a lot of attention if we're at a park for instance, but then I've also got Alex in a buggy to drag around and if he's hungry then it's hard to watch her and breastfeed him. Now he's on solids and there is more of a routine and gap between feeding it's gotten better.
I've found that I've had to be very organised, as if I need to be out by 10 then getting them both breakfasted, changed, bag ready, breakfast dishes sorted and toys away (I hate coming home to mess) then it's hard work. Also I find that it's hard to get any time to yourself and most nights I'm so exhausted I hardly speak to my husband.
What's been the hardest is the fact that Alex wakes several times in the night, Ella was a fantastic sleeper but he'll still wake up every two-three hours even though he's on 3 good meals a day and breastfed on demand in between meals. When you have one then you can rest a bit more in the day. When Ella was going through a growth spurt I'd set myself up on the sofa with a film, snacks and a drink and relax. Of course when you've got two you just can't do that.
I know there are some people that cope just fine and will say it's easy and to go for it, and I know that will make me feel rubbish because I haven't found it easy. I think that's because I like to be out and about, to keep the house tidy and to have a bit of sleep at night and I couldn't do that for a while. I've also suffered from quite bad postnatal depression and have had a few situations when my husband has had to stay home from work. He's also changed his working hours (which as a parent he was entitled to request) so he is home half a day a week. We're lucky that his work have been fantastically supportive. The need for him be here has stemmed from feeling really isolated and that I can't cope with another day of nappies, breakfast, clean, nappies, lunch, clean, nappies tea, bedtime routine (with breastfeeding and tantrums inbetween). Things are getting lots better though, from next week Alex is going to a childminders for 3 hours on a Thursday so I can have some quality time with Ella and from January they'll both go at seperate times on a Friday so I get half a day, once a week with each of them to do something one on one.
It's not something to enter into lightly (like I did!) and I wouldn't change anything now I have my two bubs, they're my world. But I'm just pointing out the potential pitfalls and that it can be hard work, isolating and mind numbingly boring some days. But when Ella gets up in the morning and gives Alex a big kiss and cuddle it does seem worth it
to reason you'll do even better next time having had practice
