ttc- Discussing it with your OH too soon??

[Steelgoddess]

I just wanted some advice pls...

When I had my miscarriage I found it pretty hard to deal with and kind of knowing I can try again has helped somewhat...

Im waiting for my first AF and ideally I would love ttc straight after this... I have spoken to OH about it and sometimes I tend to go on about it (I ask him when can we start again, can we start after AF etc etc) hes says I need to just be patient. Am I being obessive about wanting to have another baby, i said to him also that i don't think I would be able to cope waiting for too long, kind of like i want to just press forward.

Obviously I don't want to ttc for to numb out me losing the last one but part of me does think its hard not being pregnant... Does that make sense?

Confuzzled....

 

[tracey 2]

makes perfect sense, to cover a loss we automatically just want to replace it with another baby thats how i used to feel

i think as long as you feel really physically and emotionally then you can try again but its your body you know how you feel.

i wish you luck here if you need me

 

[tinkerbellthepixie]

makes perfect sense!! since my m/c been wantin 2 try again altho we decided that we wuldnt ttc as such...just not prevent it!! lol...just take ur time...u dnt wanna rush it if ur body mite not b ready coz it wuld b so hard if it happened again =[
xxxx

 

[x Naomi x]

I know what you mean hun, i do tend to go on about it rather alot too!

I am not even waiting for AF we have just been going on as before, OH is fine about it i think because he knows it will help me to feel better and he doesnt like to see me sad

 

[happy-chick]

Sharne maybe your other half is worried that you are rushing into it & not emotionally ready or maybe he doesnt feel completely ready yet?

I know how u feel as we started TTC again straight after first AF as we didnt want to dwell on things and wanted to feel like we we're moving forward, it sort of gives you something to look towards the future for and helps with the recovery process in a way.

I believe that the reason for loosing my baby was so that I could help others when they suffer a loss, I truely believe that was my hand of fate. It gave me comfort helping others & seems to for you too

When you both feel ready then go for it, I wish you all the luck in the world you really do deserve it. You are a very kind & considerate person who I see all the time trying to help others, I have alot of respect for you.

 

[Steelgoddess]

Thanks everyone for your support.

I think OH does want to ttc however i think h wants me to stop focusing on it so much...

xxxx

 

[Squiglet]

You'll never stop focusing on it Sharne... never. I think thats why we become so obsessive about it and having another one... replacing the loss.. moving on.
No one will be able to say anything to help you focus on other things, you just can't, just take your time, and start trying again as soon as you feel ready... even if others say it's too soon. My DH told me it was too soon many times, but the time came. Yours will too...

 

[Steelgoddess]

Thanks hon

xxx

 

[mrs_tommo22]

It sounds like your doing what I did to my oh sharne.He got fed up after a while, id say just go for it and not mention it, when you fall pregnant again it will be a surprise for him!

 

[Rosebay]

Yes I agree with everything that's been said hun. Although my OH is keen to start TTC now whereas I think I want to wait until my first AF whenever that will be. I do know that when we're TTC he doesn't want to know when the "good days" are etc etc and he knows how obsessed I get so I have to obsess in private.

He's most probably just worried about you and wants you to be feeling better before you move on but he's not you and if TTC will make you feel better then it's worth explaining that to him. I know where you're coming from though, there's a gap where the baby was isn't there and my head, heart and body is telling me to fill it

+++

 

[Manda&Thomas]

please make sure your oh is defo ready for it though hun
as mine said he was (he was the one that wanted to try again)
but when we got the bfp he was nothing but a ball of panic and upsettness (if thats a word)
he still is finding it hard to cope but says it easier knowing we have anougher one on the way
what im trying to say is dont rush it and you both have to be fully ready for it
manda xx

 

[sarahcarter]

If you both feel ready then thats all thats all that matters, there is not set time period. I feel exactly the same. We lost ours mid August at 7 weeks and as destroyed as I was, and still am crying about it, I couldnt even bear to wait the month to let my body recover to try again. That seemed like the longest month of my life. As you know OH are a differing breed and like others have said, it sounds like he is trying to ensure you are ready. We are natural 'discussers' but they are not. We have started trying again this month, and I have actually just had some spotting yesterday and today, 5 days before my period is due, so thats all new to me. Hoping its implantation bleed, but its too early to tell - so more waiting. Just wishing my weeks away at the moment....

I crossing everything for you! - here to chat anytime. xx