****** May 2015 Mummies to be *******

[buttonbear]

Its okay my love

Bigbee i may have had a baby before but i still think about the head part too haha don't worry!

 

[Elliott]

Bigbee I have panics daily about the whole labour side of things and that's shy midwife has arranged a tour of the ward for us and the labour related class a bit earlier to try and help me get my head around it all. It's been a fear of mine for years though and I leave the room when anyone starts to go into any details about. So still have no idea how I'll manage as the time gets closer. I discussed elective c section even but I know that isn't the easy option and I'm doing my best to stay positive about the natural option. Under no illusions though I'll get all the pain relief on offer I can!

 

[blueeyes34]

Bigbee and Elliott I know what you mean, whilst I am so excited to be having a baby, I am terrified of the labour and whether/how I will cope. Everyone seems to like to tell you about their massive long labours, tearing, being cut, baby getting stuck. The thought of it makes me so scared that I think I can't do it. I keep telling myself, yes its going to hurt but people wouldn't have more than one if it hurt that much ( petrified though) xx

 

[buttonbear]

I think its more the fear of the unknown as we just cannot tell how labour is going to go really, Your body just does it if that makes sense, we can all do it some way or another and if you need all drugs take them I found panicking(i had a moment at the pushing stage lol) made the pain worse and slowed me down etc.

You will have your baby wether its with tears, sections or perfect baby just popped out labours it doesnt matter we can all do it its what are bodies are made for

Maybe have a look into some hypnnobirthing Elliot, or anyone else nervous as it is really good for breathing and calming

 

[Willowburn]

Try not to worry too much girls (says the irrational fool in the corner here!) If it was honestly that bad giving birth the human race would have died out a long time ago! There would have been so many more complications etc and certainly no one doing it more than once so I'm certain well all be OK tri 3 forum up?! WOW!! Exciting!!

 

[Elliott]

Thanks people. I'm doing my best to remain calm. When discussed with midwife we agreed that thst more familiar I sm with things, like the ward, the better. Just so stupid things like knowing where we will be known and a little familiar (OH is terrible in hospitals).

X

 

[bigbee]

Oh yeah, for sure - women keep going back for more!

I'm just glad I will have my OH there.... Feel sorry for him though, as he is going to get a lot of abuse from me! Mwahahaha.

 

[blueeyes34]

I think you are right Buttonbear, its the fear of the unknown - how much it will hurt, how long it will last, will it go ok etc.

Also my other half is the most supportive loving partner, however he is terrible with hospitals and has told me he loves me and the baby and will be there for us both until the day he dies but he just can't be in the room while I actually give birth. I'm hoping he will change his mind (my mum thinks he will) but at the moment my plan is for him to wait in the labour waiting room and mum to be in with me when the time comes. Half of me feels upset as I really want him there holding my hand, the other half of me totally understands. He had a small op last year on his foot and he was a nightmare, not with the pain or anything like that, just while we were waiting to go in he was saying its so hot in here and getting really flustered, which is odd as he is the most chilled out person I know with absolutely everything else in live except for hospitals! xx

 

[Elliott]

My OH is layer back about everything except hospitals and needles. He passed out at one of our scans with my other pregnancy. The tour is as much for him as it is me! But he's promised he will do everything he can to be there so u can't ask for more. It's him or no one for me!

 

[caseysmummy11]

With my first i was terrified of giving birth, dont get me wrong im still nervous this time round but not as bad, i was told of some horror stories from friends and when i told one friend i wanted to use the pool she told me a story that terrified me and my OH didnt want me to have a water birth after that but i pushed on with it and thought i can always change my mind if i decide i dont like it or if things go wrong but ill be honest ladies, labour and birth was not as bad as my head ad thought it would be, I know everyone copes differently, but like button bear said you body just does it and while your in the moment you just have to think about the other side of it and as soon as its over and that babies in your arms its sounds cliche but you do instantly forget. I went into the labour room with an open mind and said to myself if i feel like i cant cope and i need it i will get an epidural ( i didnt in the end). Your midwife will also be a very great support and encourage you too which i found helpful. Blueeyes my OH hates hospitals so he was very unsettled at times during my labour and was in and out ( he kept going to the carpark to redo the pay and display as he decided to park on short stay lol) I thought it would have bothered me more as at times i was on my own but i was past the point of caring aslong as i had my gas and air i was happy lol. You'll get though it. At the moment if i go to 36 weeks ill be having a csection and my Oh isnt sure he wants to be in the theatre room with me (purely because he hates hospitals and it makes him panic). You never know when your in labour he may not want to leave you, sometimes the thought is worse than the reality though. The fear is really in the unknown xxx

 

[bigbee]

Well, just read the thread on epidurals in tri 3. That was a BIG mistake.

To be honest, I am worried of the unknown. As you girls say, I don't know what the pain will be like, and how my body will cope.

It's inevitable though, so I will just have to get over this.

I normally have a "no nonsense" attitude, and just get on with things, but find myself panicking a bit right now... Mheh.

 

[Durhamchance]

Glad you're ok Button x

Labour is tough, I won't lie, but my philosophy was that it's going to happen anyway, so why worry about it? That being said I'm still nervous about pushing our baby through my foof as I've not done that bit before! Blake chose the other exit lol.

Blueeyes and Elliott, I hope your partners can overcome their anxieties and be there for you. I couldn't have coped without my partner there to hold my hand and mop my brow. I had my mum in there too and she was wonderful and often the voice of sense and reason! Both of them will be with me this time too.

 

[Mayflower85]

It's not the labour and birth I am scared of, it's having to stay in afterwards! I really don't want that. Baby has to come out somehow, so I need to just get on with it the best I can!

My OH will be there, he's fine as long as it's not happening to him lol. I am hoping my Mum will be there also.

 

[Elliott]

I think OH will come good, he was amazing when I had the erpc previously so I think although he doubts himself he can do it when he knows I need him. He just needs to stay cool, hydrated and fed haha think my hospital bag will be half full of snacks for him!

 

[buttonbear]

I hate hospitals, Doctors you name it, and hate the thought of having to stay in for days hence why i am hoping i can have a home birth to save all that haha.

I was lucky and out within a few hours of having my son at the MLU

 

[buttonbear]

And actually just beng away from my little boy makes me feel sad If i have to be kept in.

 

[caseysmummy11]

Yeah I would say for me this time the stay in after the birth is scary for me, more so being away from my little boy for too long and the hospital im having them in is about 30 mins away from home so it's not as easy for family to visit although I'm sure some will! My little boy has at most stayed awayfrom us for 2 nights, we're hoping if all goes to plan and I have a planned section at 36 weeks. My mil is booking a few days to a week off and they don't live far from us and he will be staying there but continuing to go to nursery etc so as not to disrupt him too much. Im sure if things don't go to plan and if I do go into labour naturally before then things will still work out that way to an extent. Im also nervous about c section recovery as had natural birth last time and was up and walking around within an hour of giving birth and feeling my normal self within a couple of days im not sure what it will be like after c section though xxx

 

[Mayflower85]

Those of you with kids already, how are you coping with them and bump?

The four year old had a huuuuuge paddy this morning, a full on laying on the floor kicking and crying style tantrum, because he didn't want his mum to leave. I was trying to comfort him but he was kicking and hitting me, and he's getting too big for me to pick up. My bump is really achey now from trying to deal with him. How do you manage?!

 

[buttonbear]

Well I'm still trying my best to get around with him and he is a very snuggly/cuddly boy so i still give him carry cuddles and such but he is getting heavy!!

I guess you just need to let him get on with his paddy to save kicks to belly? If my son is having a moment i now just pop him in his room to play and cool down.

 

[Durhamchance]

I'm not finding it too hard to manage him, it's more the lack of rest that's getting to me. I don't pick him up too much anyway as he likes to walk, but he's only 11kgs so not too heavy. I have been finding it hard going pushing our pushchair with him and the shopping in it. I'm getting slower and slower!