Married for a 2nd time...

[Krystal]

Would you?

I suppose it depends on the situation but i'll tell you mine.

I got married when I was 22. I had been with my husband for quite a while. Numerous factors played a part in it breaking up but it was down to me, I changed as a person. I lost my Dad then my Mam within the space of 2 years, I grew up very quickly. I realised I was with my hubby out of safety more than love and ended it. I'm almost divorced. Anyway now i'm amazingly happy with OH, I love him endlessly! He is my soul mate and now with Jack we are just complete.

Obviously no proposal has happened yet but it is something we've kind of discussed. OH would like to in the future. I kind of would like to but am wary, it's kind of like i'd be a bit embarrassed to tell people like family and close friends, like they would look down on me cos i've already done it once. I know the probably wouldn't but I can't shake the feeling. Also I know if we did OH would want the whole wedding thing, probably for his parents mainly cos he is an only child and I can completely understand this but that scares me too, would it feel the same without my Mam at this one?

To cut a long story short anyway... I would love to get married to him but not sure i'd want the same kind of marriage as him. I'd be happy sneaking off and it just be me and him but I know he'd want the proper wedding with family.

What would you do?

 

[Kimbo]

guess which i voted for

 

[Krystal]

yes, you already have

 

[chickadee1976]

I will be getting married again. But there is no option

 

[Krystal]

doh! sorry hun.. congrats btw

 

[zebrastripes]

I voted "never get married in the first place" but that's me personally...plus those older and wiser than myself have informed me that there will come a day when I will practically drag OH down the aisle....I will wait in anticipation...ahem

Anyway...I think you should get married if you want to! Why on earth shouldn't you, you're clearly very much in love with your OH and if it is something you feel like you'd do if it wasn't for that slight wariness over people's reactions..I mean it's not like you're against it for political or social reasons are you?

As for the types of wedding...I'd say, little church with your OH's parents and a couple of close friends, then out for a nice lunch after.

maybe you should go through things with your OH such as...

"large meringue dress, yes or no?"
"Guests and huge reception, for or against?" etc etc and then eventually you will reach a compromise that will keep you both happy. but remember it is YOU that is to be happy, not his parents or anybody else.

 

[Slinky Sarah]

i personally will only be married to OH...we are soul mates, been through the loss of 2 babies together and much more and come out stronger for it.

If i was in your situation then yes i would probably do it again

(i voted no, one time only thing but purely on me not youer situation )

 

[Krystal]

Yeah your right. It easy to say close family though.. my Nan had 12 children (11 now cos of my Mam dying) and we are all really close so even a small wedding turns into a big one I do like the idea of just a really small one with only about 20/30 people there though. I just think it's more intimate really. Suppose it's a bit presumtious to even be thinking of this.. he may change his mind and never propose

 

[Becky]

I would def get married again. Why not, why shouldn't you have that happiness! I think that when it comes to deciding what kind of day you have you'll figure something between you both that suits.

 

[kelsey]

i dont think anyone can say i'll only marry once coz u never know whats round the next corner. when i met my ex, he was the one i was going to spend the rest of my life with, i had 3 children with him (the first one died during prem labour) and through everything we became closer. when our 2nd child was one and i was 4 months preg with the 3rd i discovered all was not it seemed(long story) so i told him to go.

Now eldest is 6, i have 2 more children with john, who has adopted tyler and cayla, and we are getting married next year.

There's nothing wrong with getting married again, you just need to sort out the ins and outs of it.

 

[sarah113]

i voted I'd never get married in the first place

 

[lfc_sarah]

I like to think that when i get married that will be it...

Of course it doesnt always work like that

Im waiting years and years before i get married though

 

[kellie80]

I voted I'll only marry once. I know you can't see round the corner but for me I married when I was 19 and we are still happily married and I 28 tomorrow. We have gone through a lot together. If we was to split I'm not saying I wouldn't meet anyone else I just wouldn't marry them.

 

[hennaly]

Believe me you never know whats round the corner, i married at 18 had 6 children and got divorced at 30 but i would have said i had got married forever back then, how wrong i was, i am now married for a 2nd time and can see all the things that were missing the first time round, i hope this time its forever as i adore my husband BUT you really never can tell.

 

[Babylicious]

First time I was married was when I was 17 - second time was last december [/quote]

 

[Sammystar]

I can't honestly say right now.

I'll be divorced in a few weeks, but the breakdown of the marriage was so painful and right now I can't see myself ever wanting to go down that road again.

Things may change though. Time heals. Maybe one day........

 

[debecca]

I got married at 23 and call it my "starter marriage" as it lasted all of 2 months I was really upset after my mum dying and clung to a real 'wet blanket' of a man just because he looked after me at the time.

Anyway I met Jim a month or so later and we married 3 years later. Never regret it and suspect we will be married for life. I love him so much even though he's not like my ex and tells it as it is - even if it means telling me I'm being a pain in the bum!!!

 

[Strangeness]

I love to live in the thought that my husband will be the only man for me and we'll be together forever but I know that things can change, be it on my part or his. I don't know if I would marry again if we ever split up but I would never say never because I don't know what the future holds. All I know now is that I am totally happy and content in my marriage and I couldn't imagine being without my dh.

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Well im only on husband number 1, and we have been married 4 years in october.

If it feels right then Krystal, then why not, but as zeb pointed out, why get married for the sake of it - i wont be doing it again if this marriage doesnt work out, but thats me.

 

[laetitia85]

i voted 'it depends on the situation'.
i would only consider divorce if my husband cheated ( and even in case of adultery i believe things can be resolved).
and also if my husband caused a threat to me or my kids and it was a question of life or death.
also i think if i was widowed i'd re-marry. God forbid.