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- Dec 18, 2017
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I’m sorry for a negative post but I need some thoughts.
We’ve been trying for over 2 years, I have pcos and dh is fine and we’ve had 3 chemical pregnancies.
I really do think I might be suffering from some sort of depression and I don’t know how to get out of this hole I find myself in.
I feel helpless, i get so upset that I can’t have a baby, ttc has taken over my life and I think about it all the time. I’ve tried taking a month off without using opks etc but still I am trying to work out if I ovulated, if we had enough sex, when my period will be due and when I can test. I tested this morning because I couldn’t get these thoughts out of my head and it was negative. I’m even scared of having a positive test because I don’t see how it could possibly last and I’m convinced I’d just have another chemical.
Now when I get upset I sometimes find myself fantasising about hurting myself (only for a moment) and yesterday when I was upset I scratched my wrists so hard at work to feel some kind of release I still had marks this morning although I didn’t draw blood.
I don’t know what to do. My fertility clinic has mentioned counsellors that they work with before but I wonder if anyone has used the service of someone like this and if so, was it helpful? I don’t really want to go to the drs or anything, they would probably just tell me I’m being dramatic or something.
I’m sorry for the rant I just don’t know how to stop feeling like this.
We’ve been trying for over 2 years, I have pcos and dh is fine and we’ve had 3 chemical pregnancies.
I really do think I might be suffering from some sort of depression and I don’t know how to get out of this hole I find myself in.
I feel helpless, i get so upset that I can’t have a baby, ttc has taken over my life and I think about it all the time. I’ve tried taking a month off without using opks etc but still I am trying to work out if I ovulated, if we had enough sex, when my period will be due and when I can test. I tested this morning because I couldn’t get these thoughts out of my head and it was negative. I’m even scared of having a positive test because I don’t see how it could possibly last and I’m convinced I’d just have another chemical.
Now when I get upset I sometimes find myself fantasising about hurting myself (only for a moment) and yesterday when I was upset I scratched my wrists so hard at work to feel some kind of release I still had marks this morning although I didn’t draw blood.
I don’t know what to do. My fertility clinic has mentioned counsellors that they work with before but I wonder if anyone has used the service of someone like this and if so, was it helpful? I don’t really want to go to the drs or anything, they would probably just tell me I’m being dramatic or something.
I’m sorry for the rant I just don’t know how to stop feeling like this.