LK today - breastfeeding

[Lola's Mummy]

I think it very sad that this mother cannot carry on feeding her child for as long as the child wants to be nursed without people seeing it as unacceptable.
Breastfeeding is one of the most natural things a mother can do for her child and if more people choose to do it, it would surely be easier for people to see it as acceptable.

Every child is different and they all do things at different stages if the mother and daughter are happy i don't see what the problem is.

Personally i hope that Lola will self wean after 1 year but that's only because i want my body back If she decides she wants to carry on past that stage i will provide her with what she wants for as long as i am able to.

 

[Melanie]

Am glad I'm not the only one with such a madam lol. She hates not being ableto do things by herslef, so we have battles in the morning when it comes to getting dressed as she wants to do it, and doesn't quite understand that two legs don't go into one. And as for the fact that she can wear her wellys to bed.......

Not sure if you were interested in seeing the interview, if you are here is a link http://www.veoh.com/videos/v3897204PNFgG2Q9

Thanks for that! Im going to watch in a while.
Thea wants to do the dressing herself thing too, sometimes its easier to let her have her trousers on backwards and her vest inside out than it is to tell her its not right lol. It does make me feel proud that she tries though and that she does things for herself that my friends older children wont even attempt. I can imagine Thea doing the wellies in bed thing too, at the moment hers is wearing her coat and woolie hat over her PJ's while she eats breakfast

 

[budge]

can i just say to melanie and whoever else it applies to that i do not and never did mention anything about extended breastfeeding ammounting to child abuse. I (meaning MY personal opinion) marely think its a bit vile to breastfeed a 4 year old child. The child does not need the milk nor the suckling. But i would and have never said it is abuse.

I do wish certain people would stop reading things into everything i type on this forum and turning what i type into something malicious.

thankyou.

Ok im sorry i suppose its better to be thought of as vile than an abuser. Perhaps i wouldnt have read so much into it if it hadn't had the vomiting smiley and the *shudders* at the end.

I really dont understand why other women have a problem with a child under school age being breastfed. Why is disgusting or wrong to give your own child the ONLY drink in the world that will constantly change to their requirements.
Would it be more acceptable if the four year old was drinking expressed breastmilk from a sippy cup? If so why? because there are no breasts in the immediate equation If that woman pumped to be sure that her daughter was getting milk containing nutrients designed for humans im sure she wouldnt even have been asked to appear on tv.

Im really curious at what age does it become unacceptable for most people to see a child being breastfed?

in answer to that in my opinion i would expect a child to have been weaned from the breast by around the age of two - give or take a few months either way.

there are certain expectation milestones on childhood development and i only think that 2 is aan acceptable age for weaning off the breat the same as i would expect a child to have been potty trained by the age of three and able to handle cutlery competetly by the age of 5, take a dummy awy from a child etc etc etc etc etc.
If a child was noted to not have been potty trained by the age of 5 in the day for example then checks would be made on mopther and baby to see if there were a probelm on either side -

i think that a cihld still suckling from a mothers breast at the age of 4 suggests some problem with the mother or the child not able to develop independance or allow it for example -
I personally cannot see any health advantage in BF a 4 year old for either the child or the mother.


to me BF a 4 year old child looks as ridiculous as seeing a 4 year old with a dummy in its mouth . They might enjoy it but tough - theres a time to stop it!!!


thats my opinion anyhow and you did ask.,

 

[mrs_tommo22]

I agree budge, I have listnened to the argument on here and can see where people are coming from but budge is right a child should be independent by the age of 4/5 and not breastfeeding. And doing all the things kids do that age, potty training, weaned onto a wholpe range of foods, using cutlery properly.

I have a nephew who is 4 and I couldnt imagine him breastfeeding still and hes at school as well.

If the nutritional value was that important then the goverement would recomend breastfeeding longer then the first 6 months.

Please bf do not think that I am commenting on you personally because im not. I think bf is lovely and have np problem with it and it doesnt make me uncomfortable, though if i saw a mother bf a 4 yr old in publi it wuld make me ncomfortable.

 

[Freya]

I have said before that personally I don't know if I could have continued past 2, but the last few months of feeding I was pregnant and my boobs were very sensitive and it annoyed me so if I hadn't been pregnant I don't know if I would have felt the same. However I am also mindful that Seren might ask to feed again when this baby arrives, and at this moment in time I would let her, she is over 2.

The thing is when I was feeding her I never viewed her as a baby. It was a very different experience from feeding a baby. I recognised that she was growing up, it is hard to explain TBH unless you have fed an older child. But this one I want to again choose when to stop and like you agree that weaning and potty training is part of growing up. However I feel that it is up to the child to decide when they do that, so for example Seren isn't ready to use her potty so I am not pushing her to do so. I don't see this as me holding her back, but supporting her in her making her way through these changes. Same as the feeding, and I find it sad that other mums think I hold back my child because of this, without even meeting her. She is very confident, very forward for her age both emotionally and socially, and hates being "babied" in that she doesn'tlike being cuddled unless its on her terms. I am not a needy person, I personally prefer the toddler stage to the baby stage.

As for the bonding, I was already bonded with Seren so I didn't feel the need to feed her to bond with her. However when she was upset she was easily comforted and wehn she was ill, breastfeeding was a godsend. I don't see why I am wrong to offer my child comfort. Seren did get something from it, believe me my headstrong daughter doesnothing unless there is a benefit for her.

You have put that so well! The way you have just described how you bring up your child doesn't make me think that you are holding her back. On the contrary I think you are probably giving her the confidence in making her own decisions and I am sure that this can only be a good thing.
However (I can't help it and I wish I could) I am probably more of a pushy mum I will start to potty train my son when I feel that he knows that he is going to the toilet (any time soon and he is 23 months) because sometimes I feel children need a bit of a push or they won't take the leap themselves. That said my mum was pushy and I am a anxious high achiever and so maybe my children will turn out that way as well.

I think you can only do what you view as correct and as you say your children are headstrong, confident and thriving.

 

[beanie]

I have said before that personally I don't know if I could have continued past 2, but the last few months of feeding I was pregnant and my boobs were very sensitive and it annoyed me so if I hadn't been pregnant I don't know if I would have felt the same. However I am also mindful that Seren might ask to feed again when this baby arrives, and at this moment in time I would let her, she is over 2.

The thing is when I was feeding her I never viewed her as a baby. It was a very different experience from feeding a baby. I recognised that she was growing up, it is hard to explain TBH unless you have fed an older child. But this one I want to again choose when to stop and like you agree that weaning and potty training is part of growing up. However I feel that it is up to the child to decide when they do that, so for example Seren isn't ready to use her potty so I am not pushing her to do so. I don't see this as me holding her back, but supporting her in her making her way through these changes. Same as the feeding, and I find it sad that other mums think I hold back my child because of this, without even meeting her. She is very confident, very forward for her age both emotionally and socially, and hates being "babied" in that she doesn'tlike being cuddled unless its on her terms. I am not a needy person, I personally prefer the toddler stage to the baby stage.

As for the bonding, I was already bonded with Seren so I didn't feel the need to feed her to bond with her. However when she was upset she was easily comforted and wehn she was ill, breastfeeding was a godsend. I don't see why I am wrong to offer my child comfort. Seren did get something from it, believe me my headstrong daughter doesnothing unless there is a benefit for her.

You have put that so well! The way you have just described how you bring up your child doesn't make me think that you are holding her back. On the contrary I think you are probably giving her the confidence in making her own decisions and I am sure that this can only be a good thing.
However (I can't help it and I wish I could) I am probably more of a pushy mum I will start to potty train my son when I feel that he knows that he is going to the toilet (any time soon and he is 23 months) because sometimes I feel children need a bit of a push or they won't take the leap themselves. That said my mum was pushy and I am a anxious high achiever and so maybe my children will turn out that way as well.

I think you can only do what you view as correct and as you say your children are headstrong, confident and thriving.

thank you. Though after her weeing on the carpet today perhaps I should give her a bit more of a nudge in the potty training direction lol

a child should be independent by the age of 4/5 and not breastfeeding.

what is independant?? My child is independant for her age, she has met all of your targets, she can eat by herself, use cutlery, drink out of a proper cup, will mix well with other children, is very cheeky, sleeps by herself and a few months ago once a morning she had a breastfeed. I am just genuielly curious why you think my child is being held back and isn't independant. Everyone who meets her remarks on how "independant" she is, her nursery are always saying how forward she is so I honestly cannot see how anyone can say I am holding back my child.

The WHO do actually recommend breastfeeding for a minimum of 2 years not 6 months (exclusive breastfeeding is for 6months), and yes a child doesn't need to have breastmilk at the age of four but it does have benefits. We are the only mammals that do not feed their offspring until the emergance of the permanent molars, our cultural norms tend toinfluence that more. There hasn't been much research into the benefits of breastfeeding past the age of 2, so to say there is no benefit whatsoever isn't really true as we just don'tknow. Its not for everyone and I am no way saying every one should be feeding for so long. Its just the villification of those mothers who do choose to feed their children for longer that saddens me, we all bring up our children in the way we feel is best.

 

[valentine]

Very well put beanie - I feel exactly the same.

Valentine Xxx

 

[Squiglet]

ignoring the sexual connotations associated with breasts....would bf a four year old be the same as giving a bottle or a dummy, even if the bottle had breast milk in it? if so why? if not, why not? (I'm just curious )

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Not saying anymore then, I did say dont take it personally

 

[Krystal]

Not saying anymore then, I did say dont take it personally

I don't think anyone did, in fact I think everyone chatting about it in a good way, like Beanie said before it is something that needs talking about

 

[zebrastripes]

ignoring the sexual connotations associated with breasts....would bf a four year old be the same as giving a bottle or a dummy, even if the bottle had breast milk in it? if so why? if not, why not? (I'm just curious )

That's what I've thought. My aunt who has two children similar in age to mine,thinks that bf a child at the age of one or over is really ick,yet her two year old is only just starting to not take a bottle at nights. To me,if I put Willow on a bottle at that age,it would only be because I felt it was expected of me to stop breastfeeding which is one reason why i won't stop til I want to

if that made any sense...

 

[lauramumof2]

its a very interesting debate. I was wondering, those mums who would be breastfeeding later, would they be doing it outside or giving morning and night feeds.

For example, jess is 3 and a half and only gets milk twice a day, morning and night. This has went on for a about a yeat.

At 18 months I could imagine that I would find it okay to bf Joe but not Jess at 3 and a half. I dont know if I could bf someone I could have a fully fledged conversation with. , she would never stop talking while I was trying to feed.

Somone said something about 4 year old and bottles, I would not expect to see a 4 year old with a bottle of milk, I would have thought that bottles would have been something left behind in the two's.

These were just thoughts, usual disclaimer applies 'just my opinion'

 

[beanie]

Not saying anymore then, I did say dont take it personally

I didn't take it personally, I merely asked a question so there was no need for the I don't think my post implied a defensive tone but if it did then it wasn't mean to. I am enjoying discussing this, it is good to hear peoples opinions and it is also good to ask and answer questions.

ignoring the sexual connotations associated with breasts....would bf a four year old be the same as giving a bottle or a dummy, even if the bottle had breast milk in it? if so why? if not, why not? (I'm just curious )

this might sound hypocritical but no I wouldn't give my 4 year old breastmilk in a bottle, instead would give it them in a cup. However my reasons for this are not becuase I view it as holding back a child but because of the damage it can do to their teeth. Bottles cause sugar to pool round the teeth, breastfeeding doesn't. I don't like seeing children whether babies or toddlers with juice in bottles for the same reason. Seren has only recently stopped having milk in a bottle before bed and I stopped it because of the damage it could do to her teeth but she still has a dummy to go to sleep with. I keep meaning to stop Seren's dummy usage but it is a comfort thing for her and as long as she doesn't have it in her mouth throughout the day or talks with it in then I am ok with it as from what I understand this is what causes the problems. I also sucked my thumb till the age of 13 and needed braces as a result. This was a comfort thing too.

laura, Seren used to chat to me when feeding, she would come off to tell me something of dire importance (that she could see a cat or something)and then latch back on. For this reason, and also because of public opinion I wouldn't feed an older child outside. Seren was last fed at about 13/14 months in a cafe and I was made to feel very uncomfortable.

 

[Squiglet]

this might sound hypocritical but no I wouldn't give my 4 year old breastmilk in a bottle, instead would give it them in a cup. However my reasons for this are not becuase I view it as holding back a child but because of the damage it can do to their teeth. Bottles cause sugar to pool round the teeth, breastfeeding doesn't. I don't like seeing children whether babies or toddlers with juice in bottles for the same reason. Seren has only recently stopped having milk in a bottle before bed and I stopped it because of the damage it could do to her teeth but she still has a dummy to go to sleep with. I keep meaning to stop Seren's dummy usage but it is a comfort thing for her and as long as she doesn't have it in her mouth throughout the day or talks with it in then I am ok with it as from what I understand this is what causes the problems. I also sucked my thumb till the age of 13 and needed braces as a result. This was a comfort thing too.

I don't think it sounds hypocritical at all... what you say beanie is 100% true.. bottles do cause enamel erosion in children, and by 6 months you should have your LO on cups for drinks...

I don't see bf as having any sexual connotation in the sense of feeding a 4 year old.. the only issue I have with feeding an older child is that it is a "baby" comfort so to speak... the same as sucking your thumb, and using a dummy (I was a thumb sucker too... and it ruined my teeth which is why I advocate dummies with my kids rather than fingers). I have always felt that there comes a time in a childs life where they have to move away from the baby comforts. Tia had a variety of comforts which I have slowly weaned her off as she has gotten older... first bfing... then her dummy, then the light on at night, then the music off, currently we still sleep with teddy... and she will drop that one on her own I feel...

When I see a child at the age of four still bfing I get the same feeling as I get when I see a four year old with a dummy in its mouth... I can't describe it really... It just seems, odd... ? Not to offend, but I just feel that the child is too old to do that anymore... I don't know why and I can't really explain myself well... sorry... (its probably sleep deprivation... )

I love bfing but I won't continue with lil miss longer than 2 years old. Her dummy will be gone by then too..