LK today - breastfeeding

[trixipaws]

And I loved this "Women breastfeed their children for longer for a variety of reasons. It can be to avoid renewing sexual relations with their partners, "

LOL i forgot about that! what a complete tit (excuse the pun)!

 

[Squiglet]

And I loved this "Women breastfeed their children for longer for a variety of reasons. It can be to avoid renewing sexual relations with their partners, "

LOL i forgot about that! what a complete tit (excuse the pun)!

Well erm bfing didn't make me avoid renewing sexual relations with my DH last night (baby wasn't in the bed by the way... that would be weird )

 

[beanie]

The 8 year old was a bit of a tv exaggeration (on channel 4 too, fancy that). She had stopped feeding but wanted to try again for her birthday. Fromwhat I have read the tv producers asked her questions about boobs and made it look as though she was very breast fixated. It is also incredibly rare for an 8 year old to still be fed, the ave age is 4 worldwide, so she was a very extreme case. I have come across people thinking that 4 is close to sexual abuse, we were told about a woman who was reported to social services for breastfeeding her 4 year old under sexual abuse when doing child protection traning. I don'tknow any 4 year olds who are sexually aware, and to suggest a mother gets any sexualpleasure from it shows how ignorant some people are.

I presume that people who view feeding children beastmilk at 4 as wrong also don't give their children any kind of milk, otherwise TBH I find it tough to understand why it is more normal in our society to feed a child milk from another animal as opposedto milk made for them or is it the vessel the milk comesin,in which case this is due to society sexualising the breast not the mother(now that has to be rude , who was the first person who thought that it would be good to milk a cow???)

Imisunderstood budge'spost, from the way I read it the thought of feeding a four year old made her shudder.

 

[Squiglet]

Imisunderstood budge'spost, from the way I read it the thought of feeding a four year old made her shudder.

Just the row upon row of sharp little teeth shining from her big grin.. but your right Beanie... four year olds are not sexually aware at all... Tia didn't start until she about 6. They are aware of the differences between boys and girls but not the rhyme and reason behind it which is why its acceptable to bf a child of 4 and for it not to constitute sexual abuse....

 

[Krystal]

is it the vessel the milk comesin,in which case this is due to society sexualising the breast not the mother(now that has to be rude , who was the first person who thought that it would be good to milk a cow???)

Think thats exactly the reason I feel uncomfortable with it . Yes I know you probably think i'm wrong for thinking that way. I wish it was the norm but it really does make me feel uncomfortable but I think that is probably down to the way tits are seen as sex objects. Although I don't disagree with breastfeeding just for me after the age of 3 seems too old.

Hmmm, I think things should change in the UK though, things would be a lot easier if breastfeeding was completely the normal thing to do. it is natural afterall

 

[beanie]

is it the vessel the milk comesin,in which case this is due to society sexualising the breast not the mother(now that has to be rude , who was the first person who thought that it would be good to milk a cow???)

Think thats exactly the reason I feel uncomfortable with it . Yes I know you probably think i'm wrong for thinking that way. I wish it was the norm but it really does make me feel uncomfortable but I think that is probably down to the way tits are seen as sex objects. Although I don't disagree with breastfeeding just for me after the age of 3 seems too old.

Hmmm, I think things should change in the UK though, things would be a lot easier if breastfeeding was completely the normal thing to do. it is natural afterall

If it makes you uncomfortable then I have no issues with that, and hand on heart don't think you are wrong, the boob is very sexualised in our society. After all everyone has their own comfort zones, I don't honestly know if I would have been able to carry on after 2 years if Seren had still wanted to but I am fullof admiration for mums who do so and have the bravery to do so. Its just that when women are made to feel bad by other women and get told they are only doing it because they can't get over the fact their babies are now toddlers (I fully understood my toddler was growing up, the breastfeeding changed and there was a natural progression) or that they are getting something sinister from it. I never really had any issues feeding my daughter until one time when she was about 13/14months and I was tutted at and stared at because I was feeding her in public. I was made to feel like a second class citizen and if there was something wrong with me. I never fed her in public after that, though she was easily distracted by then so it wasn't such a big deal not to do so.

I have to apologise for my lack of spacing, Seren decided to remove the space bar and it hasn't worked properly since

 

[beanie]

And I loved this "Women breastfeed their children for longer for a variety of reasons. It can be to avoid renewing sexual relations with their partners, "

LOL i forgot about that! what a complete tit (excuse the pun)!

Well erm bfing didn't make me avoid renewing sexual relations with my DH last night (baby wasn't in the bed by the way... that would be weird )

considering I am sat here about to pop it didn't stop any sexual relations here - though beats the old headache excuse

 

[Rosieroo]

He contradicted himself saying "After the age of one breast feeding is bizarre, unusual and not necessary. After a year the mother gets more out of breastfeeding than the child does. This act is more for the mother's comfort than the baby's. The bonding process is over and nutritionally the baby no longer needs the milk." Yet then agreed that the child does get benefit at least up to the age of 2

I'm so glad I didn't watch it, I'd have been throwing things through the TV! Sounds like what I was watching (bloody CBeebies) was spouting more sense!

 

[budge]

can i just say to melanie and whoever else it applies to that i do not and never did mention anything about extended breastfeeding ammounting to child abuse. I (meaning MY personal opinion) marely think its a bit vile to breastfeed a 4 year old child. The child does not need the milk nor the suckling. But i would and have never said it is abuse.

I do wish certain people would stop reading things into everything i type on this forum and turning what i type into something malicious.

thankyou.

 

[lozzi]

I think you should let a child feed within reason till they self wean.


However...


It makes me question the motive of the BreastFeed's when a child is still being fed at 4 years of age..... Eg is it really the child that is wanting feeding still or is it more of an emotional matter of the mother still wanting to hold onto the baby being a baby.



I watched a programme a bit back and an 8 year old was still breastfeeding?! Thats madness in my opinion.

 

[lozzi]

makes me feel ill to think of feeding a child that age
im sorry but i wonder who is getting benefit here - the child or the mother *shudders*

It really annoys me that people seem to imply that extended breastfeeding of your child amounts to abuse. From some of the replies here should i assume that if Thea decided she wants to carry on feeding past the age of two then i should keep that information to myself in case im looked at as an abuser and a pervert?
I dont think its that mother and child that are wrong, its the closed minded, uninformed, socially conditioned people who pull her down and knock their choice to do what works best for them that have the problem.

I dont think budge would insinuate bfing a child as sexual abuse. I think you have misread her post.

After all Budge is a breastfeeding mother herself.

 

[Melanie]

can i just say to melanie and whoever else it applies to that i do not and never did mention anything about extended breastfeeding ammounting to child abuse. I (meaning MY personal opinion) marely think its a bit vile to breastfeed a 4 year old child. The child does not need the milk nor the suckling. But i would and have never said it is abuse.

I do wish certain people would stop reading things into everything i type on this forum and turning what i type into something malicious.

thankyou.

Ok im sorry i suppose its better to be thought of as vile than an abuser. Perhaps i wouldnt have read so much into it if it hadn't had the vomiting smiley and the *shudders* at the end.

I really dont understand why other women have a problem with a child under school age being breastfed. Why is disgusting or wrong to give your own child the ONLY drink in the world that will constantly change to their requirements.
Would it be more acceptable if the four year old was drinking expressed breastmilk from a sippy cup? If so why? because there are no breasts in the immediate equation If that woman pumped to be sure that her daughter was getting milk containing nutrients designed for humans im sure she wouldnt even have been asked to appear on tv.

Im really curious at what age does it become unacceptable for most people to see a child being breastfed?

 

[Minxy]

Im really curious at what age does it become unacceptable for most people to see a child being breastfed?

Not sure if that's the word I'd use but I'd definitely feel uncomfortable thinking of a school-age child (5+) being fed. Something about them in their little uniforms starting to have their own little lives away from the home suggests a certain level of independence from the home and the breast IMO.

Personally, well let's see if I can manage to breastfeed a child to 3 months next time before I say for definite, but at this point I can't imagine wanting to nurse for over a year.

 

[Melly+2]

I know im not a bf mum but i hope you dont mind me saying something. TBH i think myself i would not feel comfortable feeding pst 2 years but i dont judge others if thats what they want to do they good on them, they do it because they want to give thier child a good start in life and thats brilliant. Maybe if i am able to bf my next baby past 6 weeks i may think of going past that. I think the reason its 'unaceptable' as some say to bf pst 4 is because its very rarly seen or heard of and i think because of this people are not used to it so think it 'wierd' or what ever, there are some people who moan when women bf their little babies in public its stupid, you have a right as a mother to choose where and how you feed your baby milk no matter what age and if more people did feed their babies till later on in life them it would be the norm, its mainly because its very uncommon that people think its maybe odd.

 

[Krystal]

Im really curious at what age does it become unacceptable for most people to see a child being breastfed?

For me personally.. anything past 3. After 3 the child is starting to go to nursery, soon to be school, growing into their own little personality. I just don't think it's neccassary at that age and I do believe it's more for the mum than the child. I guess one of my reasons would be the kind of reaction the child would get from other children, I think it could cause problems like bullying. I know thats sad but it's a fact. But then I suppose if it was normal there wouldn't be that type of reaction. So it's catch 22 really isn't it. People won't do it because of the reaction they face and people react because it isn't the 'norm'

 

[Melly+2]

Im really curious at what age does it become unacceptable for most people to see a child being breastfed?

For me personally.. anything past 3. After 3 the child is starting to go to nursery, soon to be school, growing into their own little personality. I just don't think it's neccassary at that age and I do believe it's more for the mum than the child. I guess one of my reasons would be the kind of reaction the child would get from other children, I think it could cause problems like bullying. I know thats sad but it's a fact. But then I suppose if it was normal there wouldn't be that type of reaction. So it's catch 22 really isn't it. People won't do it because of the reaction they face and people react because it isn't the 'norm'

Its such a shame such a natural thing gets such bad reactions from others no matter what the age, its aweful

 

[Freya]

Can I ask Melaine/Beany etc. - How old do you consider to be too old?Where is your cut of age - if you have one?

I think like everyting weaning, potting training etc is part of growing up and moving on to the next stage of development. This is where your child learns how to bond and have 'special time' with you in different ways isn't it ?

Not knocking anyone just genuinly curious!

 

[beanie]

I have said before that personally I don't know if I could have continued past 2, but the last few months of feeding I was pregnant and my boobs were very sensitive and it annoyed me so if I hadn't been pregnant I don't know if I would have felt the same. However I am also mindful that Seren might ask to feed again when this baby arrives, and at this moment in time I would let her, she is over 2.

The thing is when I was feeding her I never viewed her as a baby. It was a very different experience from feeding a baby. I recognised that she was growing up, it is hard to explain TBH unless you have fed an older child. But this one I want to again choose when to stop and like you agree that weaning and potty training is part of growing up. However I feel that it is up to the child to decide when they do that, so for example Seren isn't ready to use her potty so I am not pushing her to do so. I don't see this as me holding her back, but supporting her in her making her way through these changes. Same as the feeding, and I find it sad that other mums think I hold back my child because of this, without even meeting her. She is very confident, very forward for her age both emotionally and socially, and hates being "babied" in that she doesn'tlike being cuddled unless its on her terms. I am not a needy person, I personally prefer the toddler stage to the baby stage.

As for the bonding, I was already bonded with Seren so I didn't feel the need to feed her to bond with her. However when she was upset she was easily comforted and wehn she was ill, breastfeeding was a godsend. I don't see why I am wrong to offer my child comfort. Seren did get something from it, believe me my headstrong daughter doesnothing unless there is a benefit for her.

 

[Melanie]

I haven't got an age in mind, i think its up to Thea when we stop breastfeeding.
Beanies Seren sounds similar in manner to Thea, my daughter is headstrong and independent. She knows what she wants and what she doesn't and when she no longer wants to feed then she'll let me know.

Im not trying to keep my child a baby, Im following her wishes in regards to something important to her. I dont think its bad to allow her to find her own time to wean, i cant put a time to it because i dont know when it will be.

 

[beanie]

I haven't got an age in mind, i think its up to Thea when we stop breastfeeding.
Beanies Seren sounds similar in manner to Thea, my daughter is headstrong and independent. She knows what she wants and what she doesn't and when she no longer wants to feed then she'll let me know.

Im not trying to keep my child a baby, Im following her wishes in regards to something important to her. I dont think its bad to allow her to find her own time to wean, i cant put a time to it because i dont know when it will be.

Am glad I'm not the only one with such a madam lol. She hates not being ableto do things by herslef, so we have battles in the morning when it comes to getting dressed as she wants to do it, and doesn't quite understand that two legs don't go into one. And as for the fact that she can wear her wellys to bed.......

Not sure if you were interested in seeing the interview, if you are here is a link http://www.veoh.com/videos/v3897204PNFgG2Q9