Knowing the sex - Why dont people want to know?

[Becc]

I'm seriously sick of parents and in-laws butting in over our baby and I'm sick of reading about it on here! Why the hell do these people think they have some kind of right to tell you what's best. Being a grandparent doesn't mean they have any kind of rights or control over what you choose to do with YOUR child... they should all go and adopt a baby or something if they're so desperate!!!!

If your OH's parents don't want to know the sex then fair enough... but I personally definitely wouldn't go to the trouble of hiding things to protect them from finding out... why should you?

Grrr... can't you tell I'm in a bad mood today??

 

[splashmonkey]

LMAO Becc, you've obviously got your fierce head on today but I totally agree, it's high time they all left us to get on with it our way. Of course, you do realise it'll be a MILLION times worse when it comes to how you look after the baby &c...

 

[Frog99]

Well we have had the exact OPPOSITE. We DON'T want to find out and keep encountering people telling us 1) that is will be harder to shop for baby things if we don't know the sex (which I think is ridiculous); and 2) we won't bond with our baby in the womb if we don't know the sex (again, ridiculous).

So I guess everyone has opinions and they are never going to be the same as yours so you just have to learn not to get offended.

The reason we don't want to find out is because of the surprise (for ourselves and for others) and because I want my husband to tell me the sex once it is born. A nice way to include him I think. For us, finding out from the sonographer is a bit of an anti-climax.

This is exactly how I feel - we're staying team green but everyone else wants to find out or keeps telling us it's easier to buy stuff once you know. There's enough neutral stuff out there to buy nursery decorations and clothes without needing to buy pink or blue. I have a very nice yellow outfit so far and the nursery is going to be light green. I can't wait for the surprise...plus I'll enjoy having an additional shopping spree once the baby is born for pink or blue items.

If I'm inconveniencing anyone else well tough luck! My body, my baby, my life!

 

[Becc]

LMAO Becc, you've obviously got your fierce head on today but I totally agree, it's high time they all left us to get on with it our way. Of course, you do realise it'll be a MILLION times worse when it comes to how you look after the baby &c...

God don't even go there ... I'm completely dreading it. MiL is already talking about taking baby to her's for hours and walking round park etc... I'm sorry but the only time anyone will be taking my baby is if I really need a break... not giving up time with my child cos other people 'want a go' every 5 minutes

I'm breastfeeding anyway... I'm gonna refuse to express as well... can't take my boobs with them can they?? Heh heh heh

 

[BeckyJ]

its your decision and no one elses!

we didnt find out the sex with summer and i am glad we didnt but then that was our choice, everyone feels differently, you do what you want hun, its your baby!

 

[kim83]

We are staying team Green too! but I don't blame anyone for finding out it's an individual choice!
I want to be able to forget the pain for several seconds to ask too
But I don't think anyone has the right to tell their opinions so negatively to an expectant mummy!
I'm sure in about 10 years time the basic 12 and 20 week scans we get now will be far more advanced that we will probably see for ourselves anyway

You find out your blue or pink and tell the whole world if you want to!! or just keep it between you!!

I agree the neutral clothes out there are terrible! everything is pink or blue! no wonder so many people find out!

 

[Serendipity_]

I'm seriously sick of parents and in-laws butting in over our baby and I'm sick of reading about it on here! Why the hell do these people think they have some kind of right to tell you what's best. Being a grandparent doesn't mean they have any kind of rights or control over what you choose to do with YOUR child... they should all go and adopt a baby or something if they're so desperate!!!!

If your OH's parents don't want to know the sex then fair enough... but I personally definitely wouldn't go to the trouble of hiding things to protect them from finding out... why should you?

Grrr... can't you tell I'm in a bad mood today??

Agreed.

LMAO Becc, you've obviously got your fierce head on today but I totally agree, it's high time they all left us to get on with it our way. Of course, you do realise it'll be a MILLION times worse when it comes to how you look after the baby &c...

ARGHGHHH!!!!!! DON'T REMIND US

God don't even go there ... I'm completely dreading it. MiL is already talking about taking baby to her's for hours and walking round park etc... I'm sorry but the only time anyone will be taking my baby is if I really need a break... not giving up time with my child cos other people 'want a go' every 5 minutes

I'm breastfeeding anyway... I'm gonna refuse to express as well... can't take my boobs with them can they?? Heh heh heh

Sounds like my MIL

 

[KikoDinoGirl]

LOL my mum said today as well 'don't ruin the surprise' I pointed out that it's going to be a boy or girl, there isn't much of a surprise in that really

I think our parents generation didn't get the opportunity to know generally, so it's a bit alien.

I have decided to find out just because I think clothing is either very girly or boyish, with the neutral coloured clothes are a bit underwhelming (although have still bought a few bits!)

 

[Honey83]

I definitly think it's up to the parent's wether they find out the sex of their baby and not up to anybody else to pass comment once the decision has been made. Individuals do/don't want to know, for their own personal reasosns and choices.

Myself and OH have said throughout that we don't want to know what it is and have called the baby Pip throughout the pregnancy, so we have't resorted to 'it'. However, we have had moments (like leading up to the 20 week scan and our 4D scan this friday..) where we've said 'shall we find out?' and mmmd and aaahed briefly. We won't find out though, as i really want Andy to be able to see what it is first as he/she is born and then hopefully be the one to tell me...also i think when i'm tired, weak and exhasted (feeling optimistic here ladies!!) at the end of labour, knowing that i'm seconds away from finding out what Pip is, will give me a second wind and extra strength to push (at least thats what i'm hoping!!)

Each to their own, i say!!

xx

 

[shezza30]

Well we have had the exact OPPOSITE. We DON'T want to find out and keep encountering people telling us 1) that is will be harder to shop for baby things if we don't know the sex (which I think is ridiculous); and 2) we won't bond with our baby in the womb if we don't know the sex (again, ridiculous).

So I guess everyone has opinions and they are never going to be the same as yours so you just have to learn not to get offended.

The reason we don't want to find out is because of the surprise (for ourselves and for others) and because I want my husband to tell me the sex once it is born. A nice way to include him I think. For us, finding out from the sonographer is a bit of an anti-climax.

I totally agree with you but have come to the conclusion that there are loads of people around who have to inflict their opinion of you just for the sake of disagreeing whether you ask for it or not Doesn't matter whether you are talking about whether you want to know the sex or not, or chatting about your views on feeding YOUR baby, whatever, I have found since being pregnant with both of my children that people just LOVE to share their views. So totally annoying it really bugs me, sorry had to get that off my chest, best to try and ignore them or just say 'well actually it is our choice and we have decided...' sometimes when I am straight with people they do get the hint and back off.

Pheww the hormones in me today!

 

[Tasha20]

Well I am staying team green, and I totaly agree with Chopsie on the anti climax part.

I was desprete to know when pregnant with Oli, we found out and was over the moon.

But when I gave birth the midwife shouted "it's a girl!"

and I was like yeah.... I know

So for me it was abit of anti climax and I felt kind of cheated, that was just my feelings on it.

This time the excitement is killing me, I am gagging to find out but I wont, Of course I am dead excited about having another baby I can't wait to meet my little boy of girl but I want nothing more than for my partner to tell me the sex when he/she is born, I think its adds (for me) a little bit of extra magic to the whole birth experience, birth is very hard and having gone through all that to find out who I had done all that for and for my partner to tell me who I have helped come into the world is nothing but absolute joy to me.

Also one other thing, newborns don't wear 'newborn' for long ... trust me so abit of cream and white stuff for a few weeks doesn't bother me one bit ( I doubt it will bother little one either ), infact I am looking forward to going shopping when me and my new baby and little family are ready to go and pick new outfits for my little man or little girl we can all go together

I know though at the scan I will proberly tryign look and see for myself, but I am not going to ask and they don't tell you until you ask either at our hospital.

 

[chaya5738]

I agree. I don't really understand the "shopping for clothes" reason for finding out the sex. I can see that it might be an ADVANTAGE of finding out but I can't see it being a reason in itself. I am buying the minimum amount of newborn clothes and then doing more shopping once the baby is born and grows out of them. Almost all my newborn clothes are white since I understand that they have quite a few runny poo accidents in the early days and if all his/her clothes are white I can just chuck them in the bleach before washing them.

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Actually jenna i found out with both of mine and loved knowing that i was having a little boy/girl didnt take away the happieness having that baby put in my arms regardless.

Its your baby and I dont see why you should keep quiet on the sex.

Though if i have a 3rd i wont bother finding out, ive one of each so it wont matter either ways lol

 

[ladyminklett]

We decided very early on that we didn't want to know the sex and I think people do think we're odd. We just wanted a surprise.

 

[KikoDinoGirl]

I agree. I don't really understand the "shopping for clothes" reason for finding out the sex. I can see that it might be an ADVANTAGE of finding out but I can't see it being a reason in itself. I am buying the minimum amount of newborn clothes and then doing more shopping once the baby is born and grows out of them. Almost all my newborn clothes are white since I understand that they have quite a few runny poo accidents in the early days and if all his/her clothes are white I can just chuck them in the bleach before washing them.

This is good advice...I am in a quandry now, lol to know or not to know It's definately up to the individual/parents though. And I am excited to meet my little one whatever. A few people have said 'what would you prefer?' I don't have a preferance, I just look forward to meeting the little person that has been in me for 9months, god I have just got stupidly emotional!

LOL

 

[Becky]

We didn't find out with either baby and for us it was the best decision but it was our decison. Even my SIL who was preg at the same time as me and knew she was having a boy was excited for us to be waiting. It's personal choice and comes down to what you want - not anyone else.

 

[Lyonsb]

I've also found that people of an older generation than me think you shouldn't find out the sex and that it'll spoil it etc. But I think it's purely because the facility to find out wasn't available to them when they were having us. They only know THEIR way so to speak.

Me and my boyfriend are a bit stuck because he REALLY doesn't want to know, but I'd like to find out so that our baby becomes our little boy or our little girl, and not just 'the baby'...

We have our scan next Tuesday and I have previously agreed not to find out the sex but I've told my boyfriend that I can't promise that on the day I won't change my mind! He said that if I do, he would much rather find out together than me knowing for the next 4 months and him finding out on the day I give birth.

We have decided to see how we feel on the day.....He let it slip last night that he is starting to think he wants to know what it is so I guess we'll just see on Tuesday!

I say that it's still special either way as it's your baby and nothing is going to make that any less of an experience. I guess the only thing out of sentimentality is that there aren't many surprises in life that are as wonderful as this one, so it would be nice to have the will-power to stay team green but I don't know.....

)

Brooke x x

 

[Becc]

Me and my boyfriend are a bit stuck because he REALLY doesn't want to know, but I'd like to find out so that our baby becomes our little boy or our little girl, and not just 'the baby'...

I agree... we've been calling the baby 'Little Chief' since November and it's a bit of a mouthful to keep saying it. Also, it's already dragging til the scan so if we didn't find out I don't think I could stand waiting another 20 weeks, I'd explode!!

 

[tootoo]

My supersticious Irish mother thinks its bad luck. She soon found out as I keep saying 'we've bought HIM this.... and HE is moving around'

 

[sparky]

i sort of think why do people want to know? it doesnt change your love for the baby - the bonding argument was put forward by those offering private scans..unsuprisingly

The shopping argument is a bit pants tbh, you get so many gifts that are always gender specific, we had to wait until 3-6 month clothes until we could get something for ourselves....and escape the powder pink

It really kept me excited at the end, when i was massive and miserable to have a little wonder!

And for me and DH to look ourselves and discover the sex was really special.

Dont be too hard on the inlaws, a lot of people want the suprise, we have all been team green in my family between 6 babies the 7th being born (poss monday) was found out and everyone if i'm being honest isnt as excited.

Be prepared tho, this is only the start once your baby is here they'll be more helpful advice than you can shake a stick at (or beat mil with ), so be prepared with the 'that sounds like it worked really well for you...but' speech!