Just angry

[LuckyLaura]

Laura!!! What's happening I'm so intrigued? I really really really hope that you get your BFP out of all of this torture!! xx

Hey thanks of thinking of me. Absolutely nothing is happening if u don't count my life falling around my ears. My period just didn't even arrive this month, I still feel rubbish and have serious pms symptoms but nothing.

I've been having such a horrendous time lately I've been struggling to be positive or even chatty so I've been staying away cuz you all don't need that shit. I'm currently sitting in a doctor's office which is running massively late after not making it to work, not being able to park, walking miles to miss my train, having a total mental breakdown then crying on a bench for 45 mins

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[KatD]

Oh sweetie xxxxxxxxxxxxxx I HATE that you are having such a horrible time!! Wish there was something I could do or say to help! And you can vent as much as you want, that's what we are here for. To listen and to support each other when things get tough. If you can't vent here... Where can you vent? breaks my heart to know you are so sad

 

[JemRose]

Laura!!! What's happening I'm so intrigued? I really really really hope that you get your BFP out of all of this torture!! xx

Hey thanks of thinking of me. Absolutely nothing is happening if u don't count my life falling around my ears. My period just didn't even arrive this month, I still feel rubbish and have serious pms symptoms but nothing.

I've been having such a horrendous time lately I've been struggling to be positive or even chatty so I've been staying away cuz you all don't need that shit. I'm currently sitting in a doctor's office which is running massively late after not making it to work, not being able to park, walking miles to miss my train, having a total mental breakdown then crying on a bench for 45 mins

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That's so horrible for you! But we're here for you. I've been feeling the same so I completely understand. It's such a tough time But don't worry, we're all here for each other xxxxxx

 

[Pidgeridoo]

Laura!!! What's happening I'm so intrigued? I really really really hope that you get your BFP out of all of this torture!! xx

Hey thanks of thinking of me. Absolutely nothing is happening if u don't count my life falling around my ears. My period just didn't even arrive this month, I still feel rubbish and have serious pms symptoms but nothing.

I've been having such a horrendous time lately I've been struggling to be positive or even chatty so I've been staying away cuz you all don't need that shit. I'm currently sitting in a doctor's office which is running massively late after not making it to work, not being able to park, walking miles to miss my train, having a total mental breakdown then crying on a bench for 45 mins

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

sorry you have had such a horrible time Laura! But I agree woth the girls above! This is the best place to vent so definitely please don't feel like you should be staying away I don't kow what I would do if I couldn't vent all my ttc frustrations here lol

 

[snaggercelli]

Hello everyone, I'm new here. Been TTC for 3 years and now about to start IVF.

I wish I felt more positive about it but after 36 months of trying and 3 rounds of Clomid not helping, it's hard to imagine anything will get me the result I'm longing for!

Best friend just announced that she's expecting her second and it floored me, coming really soon after an announcement from DH's (much) younger brother that he and his GF are expecting a baby. Sigh. I feel so left behind and so betrayed by my body.

Trying very hard to stay positive because I know it's destructive to feel angry and jealous, but it's so hard. I really feel for each and every one of you and I hope that we all get the thing we're longing for soon.

 

[millielaura]

All my bitterness from before my daughter is coming back she took nearly 3 years and I feel I must of done something bad somewhere to deal with it a second time!
OH had a bad sperm analyses recently (they were fine before our daughter) so we have that thrown in now too. Ttc for her was hardest thing I've ever done im not sure why I thought it would be a good idea to have another. ugh so envious of those women who can be like "oh yeah we want 4 kids all spaced 2 years apart lol" oh to be that naive again xx

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[LuckyLaura]

Oh sweetie xxxxxxxxxxxxxx I HATE that you are having such a horrible time!! Wish there was something I could do or say to help! And you can vent as much as you want, that's what we are here for. To listen and to support each other when things get tough. If you can't vent here... Where can you vent? breaks my heart to know you are so sad

Thank you it really means a lot to me xx you already do help but its just one of those things where i am the only one who can deal with my life and i cant...so...thats helpful.

I am off work today and im planning on trying some self preservation. The problem is that my mum is also here and has already been screaming at me for being a waste of a human being. Looking madly for rentals but its putting quite a bit of financial pressure to be up on our feet and running only 2 months of working after my husband not being in the country and everything that has left us with debt. Xxx



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[LuckyLaura]

Laura!!! What's happening I'm so intrigued? I really really really hope that you get your BFP out of all of this torture!! xx

Hey thanks of thinking of me. Absolutely nothing is happening if u don't count my life falling around my ears. My period just didn't even arrive this month, I still feel rubbish and have serious pms symptoms but nothing.

I've been having such a horrendous time lately I've been struggling to be positive or even chatty so I've been staying away cuz you all don't need that shit. I'm currently sitting in a doctor's office which is running massively late after not making it to work, not being able to park, walking miles to miss my train, having a total mental breakdown then crying on a bench for 45 mins

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

That's so horrible for you! But we're here for you. I've been feeling the same so I completely understand. It's such a tough time But don't worry, we're all here for each other xxxxxx

Thank you xx im sorry youre feeling the same..i wouldnt wish this feeling on my worst enemy xx

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[LuckyLaura]

Laura!!! What's happening I'm so intrigued? I really really really hope that you get your BFP out of all of this torture!! xx

Hey thanks of thinking of me. Absolutely nothing is happening if u don't count my life falling around my ears. My period just didn't even arrive this month, I still feel rubbish and have serious pms symptoms but nothing.

I've been having such a horrendous time lately I've been struggling to be positive or even chatty so I've been staying away cuz you all don't need that shit. I'm currently sitting in a doctor's office which is running massively late after not making it to work, not being able to park, walking miles to miss my train, having a total mental breakdown then crying on a bench for 45 mins

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

sorry you have had such a horrible time Laura! But I agree woth the girls above! This is the best place to vent so definitely please don't feel like you should be staying away I don't kow what I would do if I couldn't vent all my ttc frustrations here lol

I just dont want to be that person who is always moaxnig and sucking the energy out of people around me

 

[_GG_]

Laura!!! What's happening I'm so intrigued? I really really really hope that you get your BFP out of all of this torture!! xx

Hey thanks of thinking of me. Absolutely nothing is happening if u don't count my life falling around my ears. My period just didn't even arrive this month, I still feel rubbish and have serious pms symptoms but nothing.

I've been having such a horrendous time lately I've been struggling to be positive or even chatty so I've been staying away cuz you all don't need that shit. I'm currently sitting in a doctor's office which is running massively late after not making it to work, not being able to park, walking miles to miss my train, having a total mental breakdown then crying on a bench for 45 mins

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

sorry you have had such a horrible time Laura! But I agree woth the girls above! This is the best place to vent so definitely please don't feel like you should be staying away I don't kow what I would do if I couldn't vent all my ttc frustrations here lol

I just dont want to be that person who is always moaxnig and sucking the energy out of people around me

That's life...for all the time some may need others, others are in a strong enough place to be the support. When the strong fall, those they helped are able to step in and be the support to them. Ebbs and flows. We can't all be okay all of the time.

I cried my way home from work on Saturday afternoon because the stupidity of the management there was having a very negative impact on some of the best staff. They all asked for my help as they know they can trust me and I had to be honest and say that my influence would only go so far due to a few key and very damaging managers. On top of ovulating and fearing another bfn month or chemical, I just broke down.

Got home and oh said, "You know how to fix everything there don't you...so just do it...if you lose your job over it, we'll cope, but I bet you'd rather that than leave them in the shit". He was right...so I'm in consultant mode during my week off and will go back with a truck load of home truths and solutions...all if which will be copied to the owners!

It's helped me this week. Is there anything you can get your teeth into?

Really hope you feel better soon. I think I'm on the brink 99% of the time here, 4 horses lost, 3 were babies and 3 lost pregnancies...I know I'm not in a strong place personally so my god, professionally I am ready to give both barrels.

 

[LuckyLaura]

Laura!!! What's happening I'm so intrigued? I really really really hope that you get your BFP out of all of this torture!! xx

Hey thanks of thinking of me. Absolutely nothing is happening if u don't count my life falling around my ears. My period just didn't even arrive this month, I still feel rubbish and have serious pms symptoms but nothing.

I've been having such a horrendous time lately I've been struggling to be positive or even chatty so I've been staying away cuz you all don't need that shit. I'm currently sitting in a doctor's office which is running massively late after not making it to work, not being able to park, walking miles to miss my train, having a total mental breakdown then crying on a bench for 45 mins

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

sorry you have had such a horrible time Laura! But I agree woth the girls above! This is the best place to vent so definitely please don't feel like you should be staying away I don't kow what I would do if I couldn't vent all my ttc frustrations here lol

I just dont want to be that person who is always moaxnig and sucking the energy out of people around me

That's life...for all the time some may need others, others are in a strong enough place to be the support. When the strong fall, those they helped are able to step in and be the support to them. Ebbs and flows. We can't all be okay all of the time.

I cried my way home from work on Saturday afternoon because the stupidity of the management there was having a very negative impact on some of the best staff. They all asked for my help as they know they can trust me and I had to be honest and say that my influence would only go so far due to a few key and very damaging managers. On top of ovulating and fearing another bfn month or chemical, I just broke down.

Got home and oh said, "You know how to fix everything there don't you...so just do it...if you lose your job over it, we'll cope, but I bet you'd rather that than leave them in the shit". He was right...so I'm in consultant mode during my week off and will go back with a truck load of home truths and solutions...all if which will be copied to the owners!

It's helped me this week. Is there anything you can get your teeth into?

Really hope you feel better soon. I think I'm on the brink 99% of the time here, 4 horses lost, 3 were babies and 3 lost pregnancies...I know I'm not in a strong place personally so my god, professionally I am ready to give both barrels.

I guess we spend so much of our life with it engrained in our minds to just suck it up and soldier on...well thats how my family respond anyways. Growing up i was always met with just trying harder or motivating more or just get on with it youll be fine and then a spiel on how someone in the world (new person or multiple people each time) have it harder than me like its some kind of competition and my feelings are not valid cuz im not dying of starvation or in a coma or something. I am obviously aware these are serious thigs and never claim to be the most hard done by person but i still have feelings and goals and can feel disappointment or sadness when things that are personally important to me mess up or dont happen like ttc. I feel this enormous pressure to always be okay and strong and power through and i dont have anything left to give or muster. I feel on the edge of having a full mental breakdown.

Im sorry you were crying because of your work and it sounds like a tough situation to be in hugggss xx things just seem to mount up dont they? Some people dont seem to get that. Its not about havig a full scale cry over something little...its about beig chipped away at constantly over and over by issue after issue, pressure after pressure ..until you crack and need some serious self preservation. Im glad youve made progress with the stress of it and had your oh's support . My issue is i have 101 things i could be sinking my teeth into and focussing on but if anything thats the problem. Ive been shoving feelings aside and throwing myself into tasks and work and uni and not really dealing with the emotions so theyre biting me back. I need a day or two to literally do nothing, think nothing, worry about nothing but of course i cant get this. I need a break from my controlling judgemental crazy mother too but since im living in her house nd she is here 24/7 complaining and yellig and moaning I cant get a moment to myself.

Im so sorry to hear about your losses...i cant imagine what you must be going through and here you are trying to make me feel better i hate bringing more burdens to people xxxxxx

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[millielaura]

ttc is so frustrating as anything else you can put more work and more motivation into and get it done but sometimes no matter how hard you try it makes no difference with ttc so it's so frustrating!

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[_GG_]

You're not bringing any burdens at all...that's the point. This is a place where we can be both in need of help and able to offer it as well.

You really do need some time away. I have a spare room...if you like horses and dogs, you're welcome to come visit. Xxx

 

[millielaura]

She must be driving you crazy Laura! I couldn't do it lol I need my own space xx

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[LuckyLaura]

Thank you GG and millielaura.

It really helps to have people who understand and dont just think youre overreacting or crazy. Im literally having to take it hour by hour living here and cant wait until we can move out!!!

I love horses and dogs hahaha im already outside your house GG hahaha xx

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[Alexis2017]

You're not bringing any burdens at all...that's the point. This is a place where we can be both in need of help and able to offer it as well.

You really do need some time away. I have a spare room...if you like horses and dogs, you're welcome to come visit. Xxx

I have a dog and cat. I used to go horse riding and went up to a stavles today to try get some private lessons at wknd but so hard to find a place that does adult lessons and has time to do a lesson at wknd....I get home too late from work to go during the week. Gutted as desp to get back in to it now I live in countryside!

 

[Pidgeridoo]

I'm due to leave any minute to go visit our friends newborn! Really feel like I could cry, I just hope I can keep it together and hide the bitterness in front of everybody The silver lining is that there is a really nice pizza place near our friends house and OH has promised me one when we are going home and I definitely think I will be washing it down with a beer or two lol

 

[LuckyLaura]

I'm due to leave any minute to go visit our friends newborn! Really feel like I could cry, I just hope I can keep it together and hide the bitterness in front of everybody The silver lining is that there is a really nice pizza place near our friends house and OH has promised me one when we are going home and I definitely think I will be washing it down with a beer or two lol

Hey how did it go with the visit? Hope you are feeling okay and got that pizza! Treat yo'self hahaha xx

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[Pidgeridoo]

I'm due to leave any minute to go visit our friends newborn! Really feel like I could cry, I just hope I can keep it together and hide the bitterness in front of everybody The silver lining is that there is a really nice pizza place near our friends house and OH has promised me one when we are going home and I definitely think I will be washing it down with a beer or two lol

Hey how did it go with the visit? Hope you are feeling okay and got that pizza! Treat yo'self hahaha xx

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The visit was okay thanks! Of course just before we were due to leave OH gave me a big hug and asked If I was ok and he knew how hard it would be on me which started the water works a bit lol I felt a bit sad when I was holding her but it was nice catching up with our friends since we only get to see them every few months! And the Pizza made everything better lol It did make us realise how much we want our own baby though so OH is starting some wellman vitamins as soon as amazon sends them and try SMEP this month! Hows things with you Laura?

 

[_GG_]

I'm due to leave any minute to go visit our friends newborn! Really feel like I could cry, I just hope I can keep it together and hide the bitterness in front of everybody The silver lining is that there is a really nice pizza place near our friends house and OH has promised me one when we are going home and I definitely think I will be washing it down with a beer or two lol

Hey how did it go with the visit? Hope you are feeling okay and got that pizza! Treat yo'self hahaha xx

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The visit was okay thanks! Of course just before we were due to leave OH gave me a big hug and asked If I was ok and he knew how hard it would be on me which started the water works a bit lol I felt a bit sad when I was holding her but it was nice catching up with our friends since we only get to see them every few months! And the Pizza made everything better lol It did make us realise how much we want our own baby though so OH is starting some wellman vitamins as soon as amazon sends them and try SMEP this month! Hows things with you Laura?

I'm glad you got through it and came home with some positives. How wonderful that your hubby is starting well man. Sounds so much like my oh with the hug bless him.

Fx you get your bfp soon xxx