Ive just found out im pregnant..

[newbie1984]

When I had the same thing I said to my BF that i couldn't to through with an abortion but if he didn't want to be involved that was fine. He said of course he will be there with whatever I decide. I don't think you can ever tell how things will pan out. Talk to your friend tonight hopefully she will support you and you will feel better x

 

[xelliex]

Well girls I am still waiting for my very 1st face to face congratulations!.. L

I cooked my friend her fav Lasagne followed by my famous vanilla and red berry cheesecake (so basically went all out). Opened a bottle of wine for her and fruit juice for me and told her my news. It went something like this..

Me – I don’t know how to tell you put im pregnant… J
Friend – mute
Me- mute
Friend – WHAT!?.. You are joking me.. you.. pregnant omg I need more wine!!

Now the above is fine, obviously she is in a little shock – naturally. But it was her comments that followed that really bothered me after I told her everything that has been happening since I found out.. She basically suggested that I should have a termination, that I would be ruining my life if I go through the pregnancy. How if she was in my situation she would be devastated and not want to bring a child into the world. Kept telling me how I will have no life anymore, that I will end up on benefits! She said if I wanted to keep it yeah sure she would be there but I would be making a huge mistake. She wasn’t even happy for me, nobody is.

Now, I chose to tell her over anyone else because we have known each other for many years, I have always been there for her with relationship issues all sorts. Anyway she is 31 (older than me but still she always acted as if she was my age so we always got on), her own women who is lovely gentle, happy go lucky kind of girl but the only thing she is longing for in her life is to meet the right man and have children. She loves kids! So I thought she would be the best person for this but obviously not. Needless to say the rest of the evening was rather sombre. I gave her the dessert to take home, I was not hungry at that time.

I am just so disappointed, as soon as she left I just burst into tears and cried myself to sleep. Everyone I have told has turned against me or wanted me to get rid of my lil bean. I am so hurt right now and alone I cant even think about ever telling anyone until I actually start to show. I feel like I have lost everything, I am so low today. I am at work and everyone can notice that there is something wrong, they all say my eyes just don’t look right today. And its not because they are all puffy from crying but because they look so sad. I feel like giving up.

 

[jody1981]

It may not be face to face but Congrats on your pregnancy

I have just been reading your story and I think you are being incredibly brave, I think you are managing really well and need to start putting yourself first.

I think you have told the key people who you want / need to know and you need to let them come to you, obviously they are a bit shocked, after all you have had a bit longer than they have to take in the news.

Try your hardest not to let this stress you out, are you able to take a few days off and have some "me time"? - The start of a pregnancy (for me) is the hardest, you are emotionally all over the place plus you feel tired and sick so you need some time out.

I dont believe in rules with relationships - 30day rule?? I would personally not listen to! How do you get on with your boyfriends parents? are you able to speak to them?
Failing that do you have a friend / colleague / HR person at work you can speak to confidentailly? sometimes things seem much better once they are out in the open. Failing that - I always feel better after a nice big cry - write a list of positives about your life and focus on them and not the negatives.

You are growing something amazing inside you which is very special - dont let anyone take it away from you if its what you really want.

The good thing about this site is someone has always been through or is going through something similar and can listen and give advice.

I wish you all the very best and hope things turn out the way you want them x x

Ps - Vanilla and berry cheesecake?? Yum yum - already a great mummy in the making )

 

[Loula]

Ive been reading this since you first posted and just wanted to say big hugs...
I went through the same thing, its shock and now everyone is soo happy that my little girl is here.
Its totally your decision and people will just say they want the best for you but its only your decison that counts.
Your friend isnt worth having if she treats you like that, you made the effort least she could have done is be happy and express her feelings in a not so blunt way xxx

 

[Nat26]

Just been reading your story, the situation must be absolutely awful for you. Can I just say having your baby will never be the biggest mistake you make. I really hope your family come round and support you xx

 

[SunnySue]

Your 'friend' does not sound much like a friend to me!
I'm so sorry that the people closest to you have given you such bad reactions to what should be wonderful news. It's still early days though so hopefully given a little time they will all come round to the idea. Even if they don't, you can not let them force you into making a decision you may regret.
Good luck with everything

 

[cosmicgirl]

With friends like that who needs enemies eh
You don't need anyone else to be happy for you (although it's nice don't get me wrong) - the important thing is that YOU are happy for you. Make decisions that make you happy, that you feel comfortable and try not to try to please others. You cannot please all of the people all of the time, nor should you have to. This is your life, live it for you!
I hope your friend gets her act together and can be supportive of your decision, if not, you have learnt a valuable lesson that maybe she is a fair weather friend and better best forgotten xxx

 

[precious_cargo]

Awwww hun im really sorry that it hasnt worked out the way u wanted ( your so strong hun and ull make a fab mummy xx



Babydust to all

 

[PyscoFalcon]

Well what can I say that hasn't been said?
Do you live near any of us girlies? Might do you some good to meetup and hang out with one of us for a bit - I'm sure we'll have pleanty of hugs for you

Your such a strong woman for going thru all this.
Also there's nothing wrong been on benafits if you NEED them but don't want them. IYKWIM. That's what benafits are there for - to help people that are struggling until they can find there feet and get back to work.
I'm on incap benafit as can hardly do stuff around the house never mind work but that doesn't make me a bad person - just helps pay my osteopath and tablets.

As long as you want your LO and love it then that's all that matters *hugs*

 

[LossiB]

Hey, Thought i would share my story with you!! I found out on Monday that i am 5 weeks pregnant! I split up not very long ago after 4 years and a planned wedding in august! But i called it all off for my new partner!! I have only been with him for a couple of months and now were having a baby hes abit freaked out by it as it is the wrong time! Its too soon but iv had an abortion in the past and dont really want another one!.... We have had some space and he is coming round to talk tonight! Im very scared about the whole thing as i worry it will ruin us! My partner already has a 2 year old son from his previous relationship!

I darent tell my parents either cos i know they will go mad at me cos of the short time we have been together and will try to get me to abort it! Im so worried about what ppl will think!!!! But im 28 i have my own house a good job etc so im in a great position! Im thinking about waiting another couple of months before i tell my parents so me and partner can let it sink in for us and tell parents when im 12 weeks and had my scan!! x

 

[Sunshine_1]

Ellie, I'm with Falcon, I feel like coming to you wherever you are just to give you your congratulations and a bloody great big hug

I cannot believe that a lady as strong and brave as you, is being treated so badly at every turn.

Do you have a mature friend? Someone who isn't so interested in being free who you can confide in, who might finally treat you the way you deserve to be treated?

 

[newbie1984]

Can I come too lol? Ellie time to meet new friends who WILL be there for you you'll be ok hun xx

 

[Amber8]

It sounds like ure friend is abit jealous, I wud never say that to a friend I wud support her in whatever she decided to do, whether I agreed or not. Is there anyone else u can talk to? Someone maybe not do close to u that won't judge but just listen & maybe offer a little bit of 'useful' advice?

I really feel for u & can't imagine how u must be feeling. I hate to think of u all on ure own with this, everyone here is here to listen & offer advice.

Xx

 

[precious_cargo]

Me too!! Wheteabouts ru elle?? Xx



Babydust to all

 

[precious_cargo]

Missed ur i out xx



Babydust to all

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

Oh Hun I've just read all this abd wanted to share my story! This time 4 years ago, I was preg with my first! When i found out, I had just split with her dad, was living back at my parents, vowed never to speak to him again etc etc etc! My parents told me I was ruining their lives, my life, the babys life! I didn't speak to them for a long time! Anyway, long story short, I got back with him, ended up pregnant 3 months after giving birth and now have 2 beautiful little girls! Things didn't work out with fob, but I wouldn't change them for the world! My parents are now absolutely head over heels with the girls and even tho they werent happy at first, they've since told me that whilst thy weren't happy at first, they love them to pieces and wouldnt change them for anything!

The point I'm getting at is, nothings set in stone, do what makes you happy, sod anyone else and hopefully the rest will fall into place! Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes it tales a while for us to realise that reason xxx

 

[newbie1984]

Oh Hun I've just read all this abd wanted to share my story! This time 4 years ago, I was preg with my first! When i found out, I had just split with her dad, was living back at my parents, vowed never to speak to him again etc etc etc! My parents told me I was ruining their lives, my life, the babys life! I didn't speak to them for a long time! Anyway, long story short, I got back with him, ended up pregnant 3 months after giving birth and now have 2 beautiful little girls! Things didn't work out with fob, but I wouldn't change them for the world! My parents are now absolutely head over heels with the girls and even tho they werent happy at first, they've since told me that whilst thy weren't happy at first, they love them to pieces and wouldnt change them for anything!

The point I'm getting at is, nothings set in stone, do what makes you happy, sod anyone else and hopefully the rest will fall into place! Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes it tales a while for us to realise that reason xxx

Aww I want to frame this story and put it on my wall!!! Lovely xxxx

 

[Rednursie]

I just want to say how amazing I think your handling this, you are so brave. I'm so sorry about the reactions you have been getting from your family and friends. Sending you a massive hug xxx

 

[xelliex]

Thank you all soooo much for your messages of support xxxxx

I haven't been on for a couple of days because I have felt so low. Just work eat then sleep. My boss asked me what was wrong after work on Friday and I just burst into tears. Everyone had said i didnt look right, not my normal giggling self. We went into a meeting room and sat there talking for well over an hour, I told him everything. I didn't mean to it just all came out. He listened and then told me I need to go what's right for me. Said he can't tell me what to do but I'm young and on my own etcccc.. Everything I have heard from everyone else. He even told me if I decide to have a termination he would go with me if I needed him and how I can call him anytime. We do get on really well but my heart just sank. I didn't say anything apart from thanks, I dried my eyes and told him I would be fine.

I just don't know where to turn anymore, and to be honest I have just gone numb with it all. Anyway I'm viewing 2 apartments today, I need to get something sorted because my friend will be back in a weeks time.

Thanks again for the lovely messages and stories, they mean a lot xxxx

 

[Amber8]

It's nice that u have support at work & that u can talk to him. It's a shame he mentioned a termination though as that is not what u want to hear. But on the other hand I'm sure he'll be there with whatever u decide.

Hopefully ull feel better once uve found somewhere to live. Will u be able to talk to this friend when she's back off holiday? U need a good friend who will listen & not pass judgement.

Xx