Ive just found out im pregnant..

[xelliex]

So he called me again.. No hi or how are you just what do you want to do!?.. Eventually he told me he was not ready and wanted me to have an abortion that he doesn’t know if he wants to have a relationship with me but doesn’t want to break up with me.. But yet doesn’t want us to have a baby.. He wants me to have the abortion and then to see how our relationship goes and take things slow.. He then had to go because he was going out with his friends!? I’m in absolute pieces right now and in shock.. How this once sweet guy who treated me like a princess is now acting like I and our baby don’t exist!? I have never felt so alone.. now I am making my way home to tell my mum.. im sobbing how could he want me to kill our baby

 

[Sunshine_1]

Oh you poor, poor, thing. We were all hoping he would be so much better than that hun, that he would prove himself better than his behaviour so far.

Only you can decide what you want to do, but I don't think you'd be here if you didn't want this baby, whatever you do don't let him force you in to a choice you don't want.

I hope things go OK with your Mum x

 

[NatEvz]

Oh honey im so sorry hes being like this with you. My best friend was in your exact position. She agreed to the termintion because she loved the guy. He went with her, supported her, told her he loved her and then left her a couple of days after the procedure.
Make the right decision for you my lovely xxx

My piece of shit galaxy ace

 

[Loula]

sounds exactly what i went through with babys dad...
I chose to ignore him and do what i wanted to do and here i am single mummy waiting for the birth of my little girl. He shall get a letter through the post telling him shes here and then its up to him then noone can say i havent done anything x

 

[Froslass]

Hi, firstly I'm sorry you're going through this. What I'm gonna say might not be what to hear, but I'm speaking from experience.

You need to forget about your partner for a while and think about how you are going to feel if you did/didn't keep the baby. Will you resent him if you don't keep it? Will you be okay with that? Although he ultimately is the babies father, the emotional repercussions are a lot greater for you x

If he can't stand by a child he made (no contraception is 100% so there's always the risk) no matter what your relationship status then hes not a very nice guy.

I went hrouh the same thing (although my OH was lovely but just very cared and later apologised). I chose to have baby as couldn't face the other option. In the end he came round and our relationship is great, and he loves LO.

Please don't be pushed into anything lovely, this is your decision x

Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710e using Tapatalk

 

[daisyduke76]

I'm so sorry that was his reaction. I echo what froslass says. You need to think about yourself and the baby, and what means more to you - your OH or your baby, because I think ultimately, that's the choice he's giving you.

Although my experience is second hand, my friends who have been in this situation couldn't make their relationship work after the abortion...

Do what's best for you - only you can decide hon. Sending lots of love - thinking of you, it must be a terrible time for you.

Did you tell your Mum? How did that go?

xx

 

[xelliex]

Thank you all for your words, I can't tell u how much this is helping me right now..I'm so glad I decided to join..

I went back home and told the news last night.. Let's just say it was as I thought, they don't approve and can't accept it right now. My mum said she couldn't look at me and how much of a disappointment I was. I live at home at the moment because I was saving for a deposit but I couldnt stay there so spent the night in a Hotel.. I can honestly say I feel as though I have hit rock bottom.. I have tried calling my mum and she won't answer, even my own grandfather won't speak to me.. I can't stop sobbing and in between tears I feel sick and can't keep anything down.

My best friend is out of the country and I can't get hold of her, even if I could I wouldn't want to ruin her holiday. As for my other friends well I know if I were to tell one I would be telling all and that's not something I'm ready for.. I'm constantly worrying if all this stress is going to harm the baby.. I'm just so scared and alone

 

[xelliex]

Thank you all for your words, I can't tell u how much this is helping me right now..I'm so glad I decided to join..

I went back home and told the news last night.. Let's just say it was as I thought, they don't approve and can't accept it right now. My mum said she couldn't look at me and how much of a disappointment I was. I live at home at the moment because I was saving for a deposit but I couldnt stay there so spent the night in a Hotel.. I can honestly say I feel as though I have hit rock bottom.. I have tried calling my mum and she won't answer, even my own grandfather won't speak to me.. I can't stop sobbing and in between tears I feel sick and can't keep anything down.

My best friend is out of the country and I can't get hold of her, even if I could I wouldn't want to ruin her holiday. As for my other friends well I know if I were to tell one I would be telling all and that's not something I'm ready for.. I'm constantly worrying if all this stress is going to harm the baby.. I'm just so scared and alone

 

[Sunshine_1]

Give your Mum a few days, lets hope she comes around.

Any chance you can stay at a friends without telling them about the baby, a hotel will cost you a fortune, or maybe try to find a hostel, if your that desperate...Saturday is not a good day to do that...is there women's aid anywhere near you?

I can't believe everyone seems to be treating you like this hun, I feel so genuinely terrible for you. Just keep talking to us, we are here for you, and I hope that someone can offer some good advice xx

 

[Froslass]

Thank you all for your words, I can't tell u how much this is helping me right now..I'm so glad I decided to join..

I went back home and told the news last night.. Let's just say it was as I thought, they don't approve and can't accept it right now. My mum said she couldn't look at me and how much of a disappointment I was. I live at home at the moment because I was saving for a deposit but I couldnt stay there so spent the night in a Hotel.. I can honestly say I feel as though I have hit rock bottom.. I have tried calling my mum and she won't answer, even my own grandfather won't speak to me.. I can't stop sobbing and in between tears I feel sick and can't keep anything down.

My best friend is out of the country and I can't get hold of her, even if I could I wouldn't want to ruin her holiday. As for my other friends well I know if I were to tell one I would be telling all and that's not something I'm ready for.. I'm constantly worrying if all this stress is going to harm the baby.. I'm just so scared and alone

Oh love, I'm sorry your family aren't being supportive at the moment. For some people their beliefs are very important and initially these things come as a shock. I am certain in time they will come round to the idea, and there is no way they're not going to love your baby!

The first tri is the hardest, both physically and emotionally. I promise things will get better! My MIL ran out the house crying hysterically when we told her. She didn't speak to me for 5months! X


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[xelliex]

Your messages mean a lot, you have no idea. It's all I really have right now. I never thought I would ever be in this situation but I guess nobody ever would.

I'm still at a hotel but have been awake all night worrying.. I've been getting pain and had a little spotting I don't know if this is normal?

I'm so scared that all this stress is having an ffect on the baby..I have a doctors appointment on Monday but I'm going out of my mind with worry xx

 

[newbie1984]

Hun I know it's easier to say but you have to try and relax. How heavy is the spotting? Is it more of a brown discharge or is there any red in it? Xx

 

[Amber8]

All I can say with regards to the father is, it's ure choice if u want to keep this baby or not. Don't have an abortion because he wants u too, it has to be right for u. U also need to seriously think, will u regret it later in life.

I'm so sorry ure mum has shut u out, I really hope it's just shock & after a few days she will come round & be able to support u. At the end of the day ure her daughter & she loves u no matter what.

Is ure spotting red or brown? Do u have any pain with it?

Xx

 

[Froslass]

I had red and Brown spotting with my LO in the first trimester x and lots of cramps x It's normal xx

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[xelliex]

Well I have made a doctors appointment for tomorrow but I still cant help worrying.. Will let you know how it goes!

thanks for your messages they are much needed right now xx

 

[Froslass]

Hope you're okay and your appointment went well x


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[xelliex]

Thanks.

I have an early scan on Friday, Ive really been worrying. Ive never had a scan before so am not sure what to expect. I had lots of questions to ask my doctor but I didnt get to see her, I had to see another instead and they were practically trying to rush me out of the room, any advice?

 

[PyscoFalcon]

For scans - if it's external you'll have to have a full bladder (and hope you don't pee during the scan) You'll be told to either slip into a gown or just strip your belly area and then you'll have loads of gooey jel put on. They then use a hand held deviced pushed over the goo (that's the scanner) and hopefully see your baby

Only thing during external scan is 1) goo is cold! 2) they have to use a bit of pressure to get a clear picture.


Internal scans - now I find these really uncomfortable and painful due to my PCOS but I'm used to them iykwim.
For these scans you again either go into a robe or just strip nekkid below waist and have a sheet put over you. They should then show you the probe they'll use (tell them if your alleric to latex or not - not telling is VERY painful and embarrsing)

Anyway they cover the probe with the goo then tell you to spread ya legs. Some talk to you when they insert it up ya muff. You need to have a very EMPTY bladder for these and once in it's not too bad and the picture is much clearer than external ones.

For both scans they give you lots of tissue to clean all goop off and you can dive right into the loo after to clean up proper and realif ya bladder.

Hope this helps for all things scanny

 

[Amber8]

Hope all went well today xx

 

[Doob]

Hope everything went ok for you hun!