tenten2010
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- Aug 22, 2011
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well Im 20
And at 18 was the first time I got pregnant ..
Very unplanned, right before my graduation from high school. ..
That summer I found out in may and had an appointment for July
At some point I had a nightmare about the babies and yes I do mean babies being deform.
But the weird part is I had this dream before I found out
So Ive been living with my boyfriend for a year or so now and I loved him a lot ..
He was my first and wed been together since I was 15 and he 17 . He was beautiful with a lovely soul..
But he had problem of his own that I just couldnt save him from but my point was that I didnt really have a problem with having his baby .. But I thought about all his dreams and all the mean things his parents had said to him about them and I just thought I wouldnt want to take that a way from him..
So I talk to him and I told him about the pregnancy as the summer went on my first trimester would become one of the most horrible experience of my life , I got so sick , I throw up every day all day and my stomach hurt al day I couldnt stand hardly move.. we didnt have a real bed and I could keep anything down most of all chicken any thing chicken
I throw up so much every day that I throw up my stomach acid , my stomach would cram up all day cause I could keep any thing down .
And where was my boyfriend he was always gone .. Mostly in his brother room getting high playing gaming he wasnt there for me. I had to throw something at the wall to get him to come over
Even now the though of his abandonment cuts me deep
So a long story short we when for an abortion and this doctor or what ever is talk to us while getting me ready .. And shes tell us how she hates when people or cant believe people when they come in for and abortion and when she looks and tells them its twins they decide on to go through with it . Like if you couldnt take care of one what makes you think you can take care of two .
And of course she checked us and we were having twin too
Can you believe it
Any way we decide to get head with the abortion
I got real sick again as I left the hospital it was horrible .
So I got the iud put in right after the abortion
Well to add to my summer from hell my body didnt take to the iud . Its was just as bad as the pregnancy except without the throwing up . Crams from hell would be putting it lightly . I dealt with that for another 3 months then got it taken out .
well now Im 20 with a new guy . And pregnant and Im so scared and depressed . I dont know what to do hes ok, the pregnancy wasnt unexpected he want to have a baby hes 26 . But Im from the other side of the country and this would destroy my familys thoughts of me and some times I dont think I can deal with my boyfriend now .. Some times hes awesome and sometimes hes the worst
And since he found out he hasnt been around much , for good reason most hes fixing our new apartment but we argue sometime and he says hes gone all day cause he dont want to be around me
I sure know how to pick them a!
Im so stressed I feel like crying all the time
I dont want to have another abortion I pray to god to forgive the last one what do I look like doing it again .
I just dont know please if any one has time .. Please talk to me .. I feel so alone
PS. SORRY FOR THE SPELLING ERROR
And at 18 was the first time I got pregnant ..
Very unplanned, right before my graduation from high school. ..
That summer I found out in may and had an appointment for July
At some point I had a nightmare about the babies and yes I do mean babies being deform.
But the weird part is I had this dream before I found out
So Ive been living with my boyfriend for a year or so now and I loved him a lot ..
He was my first and wed been together since I was 15 and he 17 . He was beautiful with a lovely soul..
But he had problem of his own that I just couldnt save him from but my point was that I didnt really have a problem with having his baby .. But I thought about all his dreams and all the mean things his parents had said to him about them and I just thought I wouldnt want to take that a way from him..
So I talk to him and I told him about the pregnancy as the summer went on my first trimester would become one of the most horrible experience of my life , I got so sick , I throw up every day all day and my stomach hurt al day I couldnt stand hardly move.. we didnt have a real bed and I could keep anything down most of all chicken any thing chicken
I throw up so much every day that I throw up my stomach acid , my stomach would cram up all day cause I could keep any thing down .
And where was my boyfriend he was always gone .. Mostly in his brother room getting high playing gaming he wasnt there for me. I had to throw something at the wall to get him to come over
Even now the though of his abandonment cuts me deep
So a long story short we when for an abortion and this doctor or what ever is talk to us while getting me ready .. And shes tell us how she hates when people or cant believe people when they come in for and abortion and when she looks and tells them its twins they decide on to go through with it . Like if you couldnt take care of one what makes you think you can take care of two .
And of course she checked us and we were having twin too
Can you believe it
Any way we decide to get head with the abortion
I got real sick again as I left the hospital it was horrible .
So I got the iud put in right after the abortion
Well to add to my summer from hell my body didnt take to the iud . Its was just as bad as the pregnancy except without the throwing up . Crams from hell would be putting it lightly . I dealt with that for another 3 months then got it taken out .
well now Im 20 with a new guy . And pregnant and Im so scared and depressed . I dont know what to do hes ok, the pregnancy wasnt unexpected he want to have a baby hes 26 . But Im from the other side of the country and this would destroy my familys thoughts of me and some times I dont think I can deal with my boyfriend now .. Some times hes awesome and sometimes hes the worst
And since he found out he hasnt been around much , for good reason most hes fixing our new apartment but we argue sometime and he says hes gone all day cause he dont want to be around me
I sure know how to pick them a!
Im so stressed I feel like crying all the time
I dont want to have another abortion I pray to god to forgive the last one what do I look like doing it again .
I just dont know please if any one has time .. Please talk to me .. I feel so alone
PS. SORRY FOR THE SPELLING ERROR
i must say with my first we planned it and to be fair my boyfriend was young and immature and went out drinking every weekend sometimes not even coming home until the next day, i was so frustrated and wondered whether i had done the right thing or not (i was 22 at the time) anyways our daughter is 4 now and we have been together nearly 11 years, he has changed so much since our daughter was born, hes not interested in binge drinking and staying out all weekend, he is happy to work and provide for us and so i am now pregnant with our 2nd.
