Ive just found out im pregnant..

[xelliex]

Hi,

What should be the happiest time is turning into a stressful worrying time. I have just found out I am pregnant, only a few weeks. I’m constantly feeling ill, tired and dizzy at times. To make matters worse I have the stress of telling the father. We have not been in a relationship for that long and had an argument the other week, resulting in him saying he needs time to think things through. We haven’t spoken for a few days now, not even a text. I need to tell him somehow but don’t know how without scaring him and making him think I have tried to trap him, which I have not. I was on the pill! I feel really alone right now and don’t have anyone to turn to. I can’t tell my family yet; they are really strict and won’t approve of me being a single mum. I don’t know what to do. I’m 25, have started a new job that I absolutely love and miss my ex. This is not how I imagined this would happen but I want this baby but I want him too..

Any words would help right now.

Ellie x

 

[kentgall8484]

i think you should think about things and do whats best for you. Also you need to tell him but dont let his reaction change your mind whatever your thinking. Im going to be a single mum and theres lots out there you shouldnt be ashamed if that way the case i didnt belive in abortion and i love kids its hard just think things through. Best of luck xxx

 

[Sunshine_1]

I'm sure however strict your family is they will be pleased of a/ another grandchild whatever the circumstances. My grandparents weren't all that pleasant when my cousin got pregnant out of marriage, but they still supported her and loved the baby all the same.

As for your boyfriend, I know it's a scary time, but just get hold of him and tell him you need to speak to him face to face and tell him. It's totally out of your hands then, and I understand your scared, but eventually whatever happens you will have the magic of a beautiful baby in your arms x

 

[xelliex]

Thank you both for taking the time to reply.. xx

I have decided to try and call the father today to meet up and tell him the news. Somehow I don’t think it’s going to be easy. I just need to know where I stand and if I am going through this alone. Then I have to figure out how to tell the family!!

 

[Sunshine_1]

Although it sometimes might feel like it, your never going through pregnancy alone, it's a little club, other pregnant ladies nod hello to you even though you've never met them once you start showing, and you have pre-natal classes to make friends and of course there's us Your not as alone as you may think!

 

[cosmicgirl]

You're not alone, stay strong. You'll never be alone again now you have lo inside you xx

 

[Loula]

sounds exactly how my pregnancy started. My parents were disappointed in the beginning but once i had my first scan they came round and are now soo excited. Unfortunately i havent spoken to the father in like 6 months and cant get hold of him and so am gonna be a single mummy. Like they all say your not alone if you want you can pm me xxx

 

[Amber8]

You need to do what's best for u, it may not be how u imagined things to turn out but it also doesn't mean it's wrong. I personally don't believe in abortion, but that's just me saying I cudnt do it. I really hope u can talk to the father, if he doesn't want to know then at least u know where u stand & u can concentrate on ureself.

As for the family, lots of ppl are single mums nowadays so even tho they may feel upset or whatever at first I'm sure they will come round & be very supportive.

Good luck with it all xx

 

[xelliex]

Thanks guys!!

I tried calling him last night but he never answered.. what a surprise. I will try again today. I just want to do the right thing by telling him but he is making it soooo difficult! If he still ignores me the only other way is to actually go and physically see him, something of which I wanted to avoid. Didn’t want to just turn up and surprise him with the news because I know it will just end up in an argument.. Something I just don’t need right now..i just want to start enjoying this not worrying/stressing about telling him and my family xx

 

[flopsybunny]

What a shame the beginning of your pregnancy is so stressfull. Last thing you need is him ignoring calls! My OH does that if he is in a strop and it is so annoying - especially if it is something important. If you don't mind me asking, how old is your ex? Does he have any kids already?

 

[xelliex]

No I don’t mind.. He is 26 soon to be 27 in a few months. He does not have any children but really wants them which you would think would be a good thing. But, he has this idea that he wants them in 3 years’ time, when he is 30. I remember him also telling me that he gets broody and wants children especially when he is around his friends because they have children. The only thing is he said that the actual idea of a baby scares him, that he wouldn’t know what to do with one and has never even held one. I do worry how he will react though.

It’s just difficult because we have not spoken since last Friday which is really unusual for us. I’m supposed to be giving him time to think things through, I just know when he sees me calling he thinks I’m just trying to speak to him but I not. I’m trying to see things from his perspective because he has no idea what I’m calling for.

My plan was to speak with him and try to arrange a time we can meet so I can tell him and give him time to let things sink in. If for some reason he didn’t believe me I could take a test right there and then if he wanted me too. But he is not answering so I’m back to square one..

I just don’t know what to do, I have to tell him and my family who I know won’t approve. I can’t speak to anyone about this because I’m scared if something goes wrong xx

 

[Jem1]

Youve got to make the right decision for yourself thats what i always think. If you want the baby that little life is your number one priority, just tell the dad as soon as you can. Woman are a lot stronger than were given credit for! Good luck you...
xxx

 

[Leah04x]

Just try and stay strong for your LO lovely..
I know it's hard.. And I was in exactly the same position as you when I fell pregnant when it came to telling the parents, but they took it surprisingly well.. Even if they didn't it's very likely they will come to terms with it before LO is born..
When it comes to the baby's dad, I'm not really much help as I haven't been in that situation.. But as long as you let him know, he's got several months to get his head round the fact he's gonna be a daddy.. Hopefully he'll stand up + take on his responsibility, and if not, he'll be making the biggest mistake of his life and he'll have to live regretting it! At least then, you'll know where you stand..

Wishing you all the best xx

 

[newbie1984]

Wow this is pretty identical to my situation!!! I'll tell you my story hopefully it will help. I first met my boyfriend a year ago, we got together in January, and I fell pregnant mid/late march. We are both 28. He was on the otherside of the world when I found out. It wasn't planned, I was taking the pill but missed a period.... 4 tests later and 4 positive results. I cried my eyes out. No idea what to do. The moment I spoke to him he knew something was wrong so I had to tell him. I wanted to do it face to face but couldn't wait 2 more weeks. He was totally shocked but reacted ok. I thought he was happy. When he got home I was 6 weeks. About 2 weeks ago he started freaking out, saying he wasn't ready and was worried how we'd cope. I didn't want an abortion and he did want the baby but just didn't see any good in it right now. I cried a lot more lol I'm now just gone 10 weeks and he is coming round to the idea. He talks about when the baby is here now and although he says his feelings haven't changed he says it's just because he is being selfish and he feels we havent had a chance to be a proper couple and do stuff and now we are having a baby. I havent pushed him on it then tonight over dinner the scan came up and he said he couldn't wait. I didn't say anything but It made me think he just needs time to get his head around things. Both our families know and are supportive. My parents haven't even met him yet but that will change this weekend.

I guess what I'm saying hun is there is no ideal scenario. You need to do what's right for you. You need to be prepared to do this on your own if he doesn't stick around. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Im here if you want to talk xxxx

 

[LucyB.]

I don't have any experience of this but I just wanted up say I hope things go well for u and u manage to get in touch with him soon. Ur doing the right thing by telling him ASAP hun. Good luck xxxxxxx

 

[xelliex]

Thanks guys!! xxxx

Quick update.. I tried phoning him yet again today.. It was ignored (shocking I know).. So I finally snapped and sent him a really long text telling him. I explained that it was not the way I had planned but I had no choice!.. I spent my entire lunch break creating this text lol.. 3 minutes after I sent it he called can you believe.. But I couldn’t answer because I had to rush into a meeting.. I will call him later to see what he has to say xx

 

[Sunshine_1]

Flippin Heck he sounds like a idiot. I hope he proves me wrong. Good luck with your convo later hun x

 

[xelliex]

thanks xx

 

[daisyduke76]

Hi there,

I don't really have any words of wisdom, just wanted to say that I hope it all goes the way you want it to tonight.

xx

 

[Monkey]

Not really much help, but wanted to wish you all the best with talking to him and to your parents.