Is hubby sleeping through night feeds and snoring a defence in court!

[hesty14]

I am at the end of my tether with exhaustion and just cannot see it getting any better.

Hubby just snores all night long and does not hear dd wake up in the night or even flinches when I'm doing the 3am sitting next to him!

He has said many times that he will do the night feeds when it is his day off or Saturday night but he just sleeps through her crying even when I have tried to wake him so I have landed up doing them myself. Now I know this is being part of a new parent and I really don't mind doing them but just get so frustrated with him. I have been doing more of the 11pm feeds as well the last week as he has been playing Xbox (in the bedroom) and says maybe mummy would like to feed even though I have done every feed during the day and was supposed to be in bed getting some sleep!!

It came to a head at 4:30 this morning as LO would not settle after her Kfeed so I was sitting and cuddling her, then she was spitting her dummy out and looking for it, all the time he was laying there snoring really loudly. I finally settled her and put her in her basket but could not sleep over his noise so lost it and went and cleared the spare bed, I finally disturbed him and asked him to listen for her in the morning and he said no he won't hear her. I dragged her basket and stand with me (I've had c-sec so can't lift) and we both squeezed in to the pare room. He did not even offer to go! With both doors shut and a bathroom and landing inbetween I could still hear him. The bottom line, I got about 3 hours sleep and I'm now complet exhausted and have got to get through a day of visitors and not snapping and loosing it with him.

I honestly could have harmed him to stop him snoring last night it really scared me and I landed up sobbing myself to sleep.

 

[prettypenguin]

Oh hum, I would sit and talk to him. My oh is the same and I let it happen for so pong that now Charlie Sony be.fed from him cause he's used to feeding from me, so I have to get up! So I'd nip it in the bud.ASAP. however just keep in mind although you're tired it doesn't last forever...Charlie being an exception, been up twice in the night for around an hour messing with his dummy, but still had to get up early with.him whilst dads still in bed! X

 

[Kbex]

I was bfing but the intention with my eldest was for my oh to get up too and support me whilst bfing so we put the moses basket his side of the bed. However in the night he used to sleep through her crying , me leaning on him to pick her up, my feeding, walking round winding her and then putting her back down. In the end I had to accept it. The advantage though was I used to point out that he had had 6 hours or so sleep. I would go back to bed After the early morning feed and he would take her and the same if I wanted a nap during the day At weekend. He's still the sane this time although he can hear the eldest now. My friends oh is the same. It seems to take them a while to tune in to their child. I suggest you get an early night. Make him to the 1130 feed and then get sleep in the morning or during the day x

 

[l_maclean]

There apparently is a genuine physiological reason for this in that men don't hear the same frequencies as women, and that the female brain is more attuned to the frequency of a baby crying.

I dont have any tips on how you fix it, but it is fairly probable that he genuinely doesn't hear. Xxx

 

[prettypenguin]

I think its just more of q mothers insticnt to get up and see to your baby, I used to be such a deep sleeper now at anything I wake up

 

[Sarah13]

Most men are the same I'm afraid! Mine sleeps through but I'm breast feeding so he can't help anyway. He did a few nappys in the early days but the novelty of helping soon wore off and he started not waking, so I just shout at him now or shove him hard when he's snoring in my ear or breathing his beer breath on us like last night! Tell him to do the late feed or early morning one so you get a bit more sleep or kick him into the spare room, that's very selfish he didn't move. Bloody xboxes and play stations become our real annoyance with a new baby, it always seems unfair we have to dump our hobbies to look after a baby and they don't! If I'm really tired (although this is perminantly now) I get oh to get up early so I can have another couple of hours, this is becoming a rarity though as guess who is up this morning and who is still snoring his head off in bed?

 

[jojo_2012]

Wish mine would sleep through. Lewis only wakes up once at night for a sleep breastfeed, then OH crawls over and gives him a prickly stubbly kiss on the cheek and it turns into a 3x longer wide awake feed.

As for the snoring, really should get angry and force him into the spare bed.

 

[Jayceesmumma]

I'd have kicked him out into the spare room why should u leave the room with baby???
He should do the 11pm feed he can play his Xbox after!! Gotta sit and have a talk with him hun xx

 

[littlemiss83]

Mine sleeps through too. He even sleeps through his alarm so I have to wake him, I need to set an alarm for myself to remember to wake him loool

He's a nightmare, I dont think he does it on purpose, but you'd like to think if need be OH would be able to look after LO for a full night.

Just wait til LO is older, you can get revenge, when he's in a proper bed you can send him thro to jump on daddy

 

[star fish]

Gosh, will I get lynched if I say that I think all your expectations are quite high? It never occured to me to expect my OH to wake up in the night.

It might be a bit different with us because I am breast feeding so he cant help anyway, but being the mummy is my job right now and OH has work 5 days of the week. I do snipe and snap at him about my lack of sleep though.

I dont know if you will find this at all consoling but i figure my husbands snoring is probably quite relaxing for the baby, like white noise, plus reasurring and rhythmic, which makes me resent the racket alot less!

 

[Jayceesmumma]

OH works 7 days a week (still at work now) and if I need anything in the night (rare) he will get up for me.. Or if I'm feeding lily and one of the girls gets up he will tend to them. We work 24/7 looking after our child.. At least they can do what they can rather than playing on Xbox or ps3 or whatever. Our shift never ends.. Theirs does! It's not right she had to leave the room to go in the spare room with the baby!
I never 'expect' anything from my OH but he does his part willingly.
I get a tea when he gets in from work and he gives lily cuddles while I cook dinner.. That's all I've asked of any man.. To come home and play with the kids while I get on with things.. Housework is my break from baby things lol! I have a bath and put lily in her chair next to me so I can keep an eye on her.. He gets home at 8-9pm so he's shattered but respects that I am too. If I've had a rough night and over tired he will put some washin in for me.. It's the little things that help

 

[hesty14]

Just wait til LO is older, you can get revenge, when he's in a proper bed you can send him thro to jump on daddy

I cannot wait for this day, revenge will be mine!

Did try and talk to him this morning but landed in a row which is very unusual for us as we are talkers rather than shouters. this aid that I have been making him feel like he is a bad father by saying he does nothing for her when he does all the housework and washing. He has said that he will do the 11pm feed but I must go to bed early or when he gets in from work to go to bed for a couple of hours.

I know that I am very lucky with LO as she is a very good sleeper and goes every 4 hours where I know mummy's with babies who are every two but it is the broken sleep that is getting to me. I just know that one whole night would sort me right out.

 

[Jayceesmumma]

It's good he's gonna do the 11pm feed and he's right u néed to get to bed! Hopefully you'll feel better after a decent sleep! I had broken sleep til Ellie was 3 it's not nice!

 

[littlemiss83]

Just now i'm on maternity leave so dont mind doing everything for LO, but when I go back to work full time, it will need to get split alot more. Seriously duno how i'm gona manage. Thankfully LO is sleeping thro so it means no matter what happens during the day, at least the nights are ours. Older LO is worse than baby for being up late