Is her baby mine?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Chat' started by Armageddon, Jun 4, 2016.

  1. Armageddon

    Armageddon New Member

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    Hi everyone, I’m going to be a dad soon but my baby isn’t mine. However, there is a twist lately and my girlfriend and I are so confused now, and I will like to seek everyone’s advice and opinion on this matter.

    My girlfriend broke up with me in September last year and we got back together 3 months later. A month later, she admitted to me she was pregnant but the baby isn’t mine. I was devastated as I planned to have a future with her and her baby ruin my plan and the future I plan to have with her. I was filled with so much anguish because as much as I love her, I couldn’t bear the thought of raising another man’s child, especially the man she dumped me for. Her ex refused to take responsibility for the baby because he doesn’t believe the baby is his, but mine. How ironic. Every time I see her stomach/her baby, he will remind me of her ex and the hurt she put me through. We agreed to take a 2 week break from each other to think through about our future and she would not blame me if I decide to leave her as she doesn’t want to break my life.

    During that 2 weeks, I think of her every day and I didn’t know what to do. On one hand, I decide to raise her baby as my own but on the other hand, I was so worried what if her ex comes back to her and when the baby grows up, he will acknowledge her ex as the father. After all, he is the biological father so there is nothing I can do. After careful consideration, I decided to raise her baby as my own and be the father of the baby. What truly makes a father is how you raised up the child and be there for him through every single step of his journey, and not who contribute the sperm.

    Fast forward 4 months in April, on 23rd April to be exact, the doctor told her that she was 29 weeks and 4 days pregnant. That’s 207 days ago and 207 days ago, it was just a week after our break-up and she told me she didn’t move in with her ex yet. This gives me hope that her baby could be mine after all and this would be my dream and this is what I kept wishing for every single day during her pregnancy.

    What I will like to know is based on my story and the timeline of the event, what do you all think?
    I will also like to know when is a woman’s most fertile period? Is it before or after your period? Because I remember 2 weeks before we had unprotected sex, she said her period just ended and during the sex, I forgot to pull out.

    How long does it take for a fetus to form?

    Is her baby mine or her ex?

    I’m so confused and nervous.

    Here's a picture of her 7 months pregnant
    [​IMG]
     
    #1 Armageddon, Jun 4, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2016
  2. snowbee

    snowbee Well-Known Member

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    All ladies are slightly different but if your gf has a 'normal' 28 day cycle then she is most likely fertile right in the middle of that. Most ladies ovulate 14 days before their period starts and can get pregnant from sex 4-5 days before the egg is released and about 12 hours after the egg is released. If the egg is fertilised then she would get a positive pregnancy test about 10-16 days later.

    When working out weeks pregnant they class you as pregnant right from the first day of your period, when obviously you are not pregnant at all and won't be until you ovulate (normally) 2 weeks later, then the egg needs to be fertilised and implant, which all takes time.

    Did she have a bleed between breaking up with you and getting with the other man? If she did I would say your chances of being the father are slim. The only way to know for sure if to dna test I'm afraid.

    You are totally right about being a father though, if you raise the child as your own then they will look on you as being their dad, especially if the other guy isn't in the picture at all.
     
    #2 snowbee, Jun 4, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2016
  3. Armageddon

    Armageddon New Member

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    Hi snowbee, thanks for such a useful and informative post which gives me some insights into a woman's pregnancy. All I know now is that she is 8 months pregnant and her due date is 29th June 2016, which is in just 24 days from now.

    I'm just so confused right now because based on her due date, it seems like there is a high chance her baby could be mine, because I heard that an average woman's pregnancy is 280 days. Rewind 280 days back from 29th June 2016 - that's 24th September. She broke up with me on the 21st September and she only started to date her ex a week later, and moved in with him in October. However I understand that every woman's pregnancy cycle varies.

    I did question her if she had her period after our break-up but she said she can't remember. However, she did tell me that her period just ended around 2 weeks before we had sex and I heard that a woman's most fertile period is 10 to 14 days after her period - is that true?

    Just to break down my relationship with her in a timeline:

    Feb 2015 to August 2015 (We started dating - long distance relationship)

    9th September 2015 to 21st September 2015 - She moved in with me and broke up with me on the 21st Sept.

    A week later around on the 28th September 2015, she started dating her ex.

    She moved in with him on the 2nd week of October and broke up with him in mid November.

    Based on the timeline, do you think the baby is mine or her ex?
     
    #3 Armageddon, Jun 4, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2016
  4. Emmam1982

    Emmam1982 Well-Known Member

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    Try this calculator http://www.calculator.net/pregnancy-conception-calculator.html
    Based on an average length cycle I would say that it's more likely to be her ex's baby and not yours-sorry.
    The first 2 weeks of a pregnancy the woman isn't actually pregnant-it's added on so 2 weeks after conception a woman is classed as 4 weeks pregnant. The average pregnancy only lasts 38 weeks. It's likely that your girlfriend fell pregnant in the first week of October xx
     
  5. Armageddon

    Armageddon New Member

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    Please don't apologize. I really appreciate an honest's insight into this. I understand that conception usually takes around two weeks. However, she told me that she only moved in with her ex in the second week of October and they had unprotected sex only during the third week of October. I know condoms are not 100% safe but still.

    I still hope that the baby is mine but I know the chance is very very slim.
     
  6. Selina13

    Selina13 Well-Known Member

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    It's a really difficult situation and unfortunately you won't know for sure until you do a dna test.
    I suggest you do this if only for the babies sake so he/she knows who dad actually is for health reasons too! X
     
  7. mummywanabe

    mummywanabe Well-Known Member

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    All cycles are different and women can ovulate earlier or later I ovulated very easy this pregnancy so was surprised when I eat for my scan that I was actually 4 days ahead than what I thought, it would still be best to have a DNA test even if you are going to raise the child as your own, just incase he/she has any questions and it will take any questions out of your head because you will always wonder, if your in for the long haul be in 100% children are amazing and even if you're not biologically dad that doesn't mean you couldn't still be an amazing daddy and love that little one, my brother and his wife are adopting, the child is not biologically theirs but they will love him/her so much because not everyone is lucky enough to be a parent
     

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