Is breast best?

[inky]

Did anyone watch this last night? I found it interesting - I had no idea breast feeding rates are so low here, and thought it was very sad when a teenage mum-to-be said that boobs are only for sex and showing off....what a sad state of affairs

 

[titch]

I know I thought that too. I also got raging at that woman who said when she was pregnant that breast feeding is repulsive and wasnt going to do it, then ended up "just doing it cos it was easy" The world is stupidly unfair!

 

[inky]

I know, I consider myself and Cahal very lucky to be able to be breast feeding, I know so many girls who want to but for one reason or anothere weren't able to, much like Cherry, who I felt really sorry for when she said how guilty she felt

 

[titch]

yeah I think shes so brave making that programme, I was sobbing just watching that interview where the woman said she doesnt think you can ever have a bond the same as if you BF. Not a clue how she sat there and stayed professional. I wouldve torn the place up

 

[FebMum2Be]

You know what mega pissed me off, the woman TELLING Cherry you WON'T have the same bond with your child if you bottle feed, what a load of shit! Cherry said to a doctor that when Coco was due a feed she would look at her and cry because she was so sore, so a mother who is crying with boobs that are in agony, who can't bear the thought of another feed, is going to bond more than a relaxed, happy, unsore mother with a bottle in her hand?? I'm all for breastfeeding, and I'm proud to say I tried but it didn't happen for me and I partly blame the midwives who were tag teaming me in my room.

Bonding in my eyes is an emotionally charged thing, not physical. I'm sure there is many a woman who breastfeeds her child struggles to bond, nursing a child doesn't mean its going to create emotions and love for the child if they aren't there in the first place. I will be trying breastfeeding again with my next child in the future, and hopefully I will get the right support instead of the idiots I got. X

 

[titch]

You know what mega pissed me off, the woman TELLING Cherry you WON'T have the same bond with your child if you bottle feed, what a load of shit!

I know, how could she possibly know, she hasnt bottle fed. so she hasnt seen both sides. The first time morgan properly took a bottle he snuggled into me and stared into my eyes as he fed and I felt sucha rush after days of not being able to get anything into him it was such a relief to see him do it. I thought, "finally, we're doing something normal" even though before that I wouldve said BFing was more normal to me, just feeding your baby yourself is a privelage, when morgan was syringe fed the nurses had to do it. I literally didnt feed him myself at all for the first few days.

Cherry said to a doctor that when Coco was due a feed she would look at her and cry because she was so sore, so a mother who is crying with boobs that are in agony, who can't bear the thought of another feed, is going to bond more than a relaxed, happy, unsore mother with a bottle in her hand??

very true!

 

[megsmeadow]

I didn't see it, I'll find it on a replay somewhere. The whole subject makes me sad. We do what's right for our babies and feed them the way they need fed, if it doesn't come from you then they have to get it from somewhere, that's just nature. There is definately a weird state of mind amongst many woman that BF is odd in some way, how on earth do we change that?

 

[titch]

I know, the whole debate over children breastfeeding dolls baffles me. Im not trying to make a point or anything, I just seriously dont see what the problem is. I remember breastfeeding my dolls. I also remember playing house and pretending to make tea for people. I dunno what the issue is, but I think maybe if you never saw anyone BFing as a child you might see boobies differently, like just a sexual thing.

 

[megsmeadow]

We definately need some 'cool' women to be open and positive about breastfeeding, not as a debate, just being normal.

 

[FebMum2Be]

Growing up nobody breastfed around me, and boobs were something that were in the papers, I think girls should be educated more in school about it, but I think the people who are "promoting" breastfeeding need to do it differently, so much pressure is put on women to breastfeed when some women simply aren't able to, so they are automatically a failure who is never going to have this super bond that everyone rants about. Don't get me wrong, it truly is special, but another girl on Cherrys programme, think it was Tijen? Couldn't even look at her baby feeding, she said "the baby needs fed, I had to stop being selfish" she didn't have this love for breastfeeding she done it because she felt it was better for her daughter.. I think its very "olden days" for something to be threw about so much when it isn't a fact, like babies won't go to heaven if they aren't christened and die young, women won't bond as much unless they don't breastfeed, ridiculous.

 

[Piglet's Mama]

I thought it put breastfeeding across really negatively - I like Cherry Healy but it felt like because she didn't breastfeed she was trying to justify herself. And the three women that did breastfeed; they weren't put across in the best way either which wasn't very fair. They either made out it was really really hard (for the young girl) and she kept saying things like "Will she give up? How can she carry on?", the other woman who was part of the breastfeeding group was portrayed as an "activist" and the other lady was feeding her 3 and 5 years old which was obviously to spark a reaction. There was no one on there just portrayed as a Mum who had persevered with breast-feeding or someone who had found it easy: actually that woman Tejan who fed for 11 months, she was great but was left comforting Cherry because she felt guilty about not breastfeeding! Not a very helpful program at all really... x

 

[inky]

I went to baby group today, and myself and the only other 2 bf'ing mothers agreed with you - breast feeding was actually shown in a negative light - you're either a long suffering mum, a 'lactivist' weirdo or you breast feed your school kids....they didn't show any 'normal' bfing at all

 

[FebMum2Be]

I think that maybe it was a programme partially aimed at the mothers who "failed" at breastfeeding, it's not a very nice feeling but it was nice (sounds bad) to know that there are other mothers who struggle but also end up doing it, and doing it very well. Cherry actually admired the ladies that were in the breastfeeding group, she even said that she wished that she could have been the same as them, maybe she was searching for some answers as she was under the impression due to other womens comments that there simply wasn't the same bond there if you didn't breastfeed etc I can understand maybe why she was trying to look at the other side of the coin, I for one was left completely lost and confused at my time breastfeeding, and felt like I was the only one.. I felt like it was my fault. The way she came across I felt like she felt the same thing too, maybe I'm seeing things one sided as I haven't experienced the "good" side of breastfeeding, but I did think it was a very informative program in the light that it showed different experiences, good and bad x

 

[inky]

I think a program about breast feeding is always going to be emotive, and I guess if you're comingvat it from a different angle to the person making the program then you will never be entirely happy. I just didn't feel that "normal" people like me shown at all.

Anyway all this is beside the point - she only skimmed on the real issue for me, that being why the younger generation don't even think that boobs are for anything other than sex and showing off. There must be something seriously wrong with our society if that's what our kids are being taught. They said that a celebrity needs to make it "cool" to breastfeed, but are younger mothers really that fickle? I don't think so. It surely must run deeper - although when you have shops selling padded bikinis for 10 year old girls then we really don't have a hope in hell.

 

[FebMum2Be]

In school, there was no talk about it, home economics, science, anywhere. I knew what breast-feeding was, but never knew anything actually about it until I researched it myself at 18 which really is quite sad. They should definitely do more in schools to promote breastfeeding.

There was the woman that had her second child and was breast-feeding? She wasn't shown much of but she didn't have anything else going on apart from feeding second time around.. Anyway, I thought it was a good show to show that breast-feeding isn't an easy one way street, sometimes there are different obstacles, choices and views on it.. I respect each decision and maybe we will see something on the TV soon that focuses more on what you are saying x

 

[pinkymum]

In school, there was no talk about it, home economics, science, anywhere. I knew what breast-feeding was, but never knew anything actually about it until I researched it myself at 18 which really is quite sad. They should definitely do more in schools to promote breastfeeding.

There was the woman that had her second child and was breast-feeding? She wasn't shown much of but she didn't have anything else going on apart from feeding second time around.. Anyway, I thought it was a good show to show that breast-feeding isn't an easy one way street, sometimes there are different obstacles, choices and views on it.. I respect each decision and maybe we will see something on the TV soon that focuses more on what you are saying x

Jen we never got anything at school either. I was brought up around a lot of families and a lot of babies and I can't remember seeing anyone breastfeeding. It's only been in the last couple of years that I've known more people to do it.

 

[Rayoflight]

Merseyside has the lowest UK rates of breastfeeding hence me getting involved with the radio campaign.

There was talk before the budget cuts of me going into schools to do breastfeeding workshops/discussions but because of funding it's been put on hold. They may do it in September but I won't feel comfortable taking a 10 month old into a school and feeding him in front of a class of teenage girls. It needed to be done when he was tiny.

I do think what you have seen growing up has a lot to do with what you choose to do as a mum. Everyone in my family BF. My mum had my Sis when I was 12 so I watched her BFing all the time. When it came to me having my baby there was no question what I would do. The thought of bottles scared me a bit. I've never seen a bottle of formula being made up nor done it myself. I wouldn't know where to start! But if BFing hadnt worked for me I would've learnt and got on with it.

 

[FebMum2Be]

I have seen one person breast feeding, a split second in a restaurant loo at 14.. It was never ever done around me, or not done at all.. I felt a bit stupid asking questions when I was pregnant as I felt I should have known the answers, I think it would be a great thing to be brought into schools.. I got sex education when I was in 6th form, so 17.. It was literally sex=babies, no information about contraception, nothing.. I think the government needs to buck up their ideas, less baking buns and more information that teenagers can actually put into action x

 

[pinkymum]

I wonder what the reasons were for not having some sort of education about breastfeeding in secondary schools?
Although I'm nearly 30, left school just before 18 and things were a lot different then. Think there was only one teenage pregnancy when I was at school. But surely they couldn't have said educating girls about breastfeeding would cause more teenage pregnancies. Who knows. It's a shame you weren't able to do it Gem. Everything is about money

 

[leanne1b]

Please dont blast me for this. I didnt breast feed. Not that I couldnt, well I dont know. I didnt try.
I didnt with my eldest.. some of u know the back story so I wont go into it now, and shes fine.
But I feel so guilty because my youngest one has been poorly so much, and I cant help but think, well is that why?
I dont know why I didnt... they asked when I was pregnant, and I said no. Its not that I find it disgusting, for other people. Or that I think boobs are for sex etc. But the idea of it, I just couldnt get my head around it. I knew I was high risk for PND. And I knew me stressing about breast feeding wouldnt help that either.
the PND kicked in... immediately. Literally... within seconds of him leaving my body, I dropped. Hard. So in a way Im kind of glad I didnt because I think I would have resented him, but when he was about 2 weeks old, I kept thinking about it. I still couldnt bring myself to breastfeed, but I tried to pump some, and got about 2 ozs and gave him that in a bottle. I strangely felt a bit better because it was like, well, he got some?
I feel bad because I know people who really want to, but cant, and I probably physically could have. But I also know that my mental health def wasnt in a good place, and I needed to address that as soon as possible to bond with him. I did bond with him. And I can't compare the other side, but I do feel as bonded to him with bottle feeding as I "think" I would with have with breastfeeding.
Sorry, I know I'll get blasted for this, but just felt I had to say this
x