I dont know really

[natashateale]

I dont know why i am doing this as i am pretty sure what i will hear but i really need to get this off my chest

I am 20 and my OH is 22 and we have a 3 year old daughter. Iv wanted another baby for about 18months and we finally started trying in april this year. I know we are both young but its something that we want or at least i thought it was.
i am not convince that my OH heart is completely in it. We dont chart my cycles together through my choice as i dont want him to think we r only for the sake of having a baby as i think that would put him off, also he has just started a new job and thats all he talks about, he so excited about it and he really enjoys it and there is talk of him being able to move the company. Also he has a car that he wants mess about with and stuff and he likes to play footbal and i as much as this seems unfair to him i dont think he is properly ready for another baby. I am 100% ready i was born to be a mum but i am not sure he wants it like i do....hmmm i dont know.
Go easier on me please

 

[shorty88]

hey huni
didnt wanna read an run.

have u tried to talk to ya oh about how u feel???

big hugs hunni.

 

[natashateale]

I try to and he just says he does want another baby and then changes the subject. He doesnt "really" talk about it

 

[Jayjay027]

I agree with shorty. You should talk to him about it.
I know u may be afraid of his answer, but you both need to be in this together, whatever you do.

Good luck hun x

Sent from my BlackBerry 9800 using Tapatalk

 

[Sandy Bee]

Sorry to hear you that you've got this problem. I think it is very common.

Discuss it with him, try to reach a compromise (be flexible so that he feels you are listening to his needs), make him understand how much it would mean to your daughter to have a brother or sister.

 

[shorty88]

must be hard huni, but think you have to try again till you settle your own mind!

we all now what men are like when it comes to talking and feeling. like getting blood out of a stone lol.

just thought id say im only 23 and other half is 21 he has always wanted kids and said to me new years day that he wanted a baby this year,
althought we had talked about it then we have only really started to try this month as we had a lot of family problems (nw have a my 16year old sis living with us pain for the sex life lol.) and we moved house.

xxxxxx

 

[nik106]

Maybe its a bloke thing. My OH is 22 next week (i'm nearly 27) and i continually worry that he's not totally into this. The last few weeks he's been saying about how he misses going out with his friends to get wasted every Friday evening after work, he can't as i'm over my due date and i need him there to drive me if i go into labour. He drags me away from baby clothes and stuff when we go to shopping whilst i appear to be naturally drawn to all things baby.

BUT, when his friends at work, whom i'm close to, tell me that with them, he's so excited! My mum came to a few scans with us, and aside from seeing our baby, she loves to watch his face, because he gives so much away just with the joy on his face.

I think for women, trying for a baby and being pregnant becomes all consuming, its part of who we are, but for men, its just not the same, as far as they're concerned whilst they want the baby etc, the world has other things in it. Might just be the same for you OH, it certainly is for mine!

 

[lauralou]

Hiya x I think us women sometimes read into things too much. Me n my bf settled down young, and through choice I had a baby at 20, but it was planned n we have our own house etc. We r currently trying for another baby, and sometimes I get the feeling he's not quite as excited/emotional about it all, whereas with our first he was really excited and that was all we talked about. I started feeling quite weird about it so I kept asking him if he's definately wanting to do it all again, n he always reassures me. Then this morning he started asking me about folic acid and telling me that pomegranate juice is really good for it.... Which shocked me because I was talking to him about it the other day n he didn't seem like he was even listening!
I'd say ask ur bf that he's sure, and then take his word. I think blokes don't really see it as the huge major thing we do. Obviously if he's really disinterested then I'd have a goo long chat n make him listen to how u feel. But I also think sometimes we woman worry about so much, obviously it's a major thing for us to go through so we panic a little and want everything to be perfect. Men seem alot calmer and more relaxed.
Hope u sort it huni xxx

 

[natashateale]

See i think i might of pressured him into it abit as i went on and on about it. But when i have asked him he said no i dint that he does want another baby. I will have to try and talk to him again when he gets back from work as its getting me down.
I really did think we were in this together but u know when something is niggling at u and it just wont go away.

Shorty88 i know how u feel, My family has also gone through some problem and although they are not living with me i have my 3 brothers who are 7,9,11 stay with me wed til fri every week for now.

 

[knopk@]

I am still not sure about the whole thing but its too late now!And I am 27 and my husband is 36. Its not the age I think

 

[Bellarina]

I agree Nik and lauralou....men just dont seem to have the same part of the brain as us women when it comes to emotions and feelings etc or at least revealing them. We do become all consumed with baby stuff when TTC, and yes men realise there are other things in life apart from it whereas we just become focused on babies.
My DH has never really been one for being slushy and telling me how he feels, but I know him inside out and believe him when he tells me having a baby is what he really wants.
sometimes it is frustrating though for us girls when they dont wanna talk about babies all the time xxx

 

[shorty88]

Shorty88 i know how u feel, My family has also gone through some problem and although they are not living with me i have my 3 brothers who are 7,9,11 stay with me wed til fri every week for now.[/QUOTE]

still changes things thou.

dont get me wrong i love her to bits and my oh has bein brill was never any doubt in to her moving in. does take sit toll on things. when you are used to it being just me and him (him walkin around naked most the time lol).
plus you cant just go with the flow so to speak as you have to think where you are if they come back etc lol.

try not to get down about things thou huni. like the other girls say we over thing things also always see the cons not the pros in ttc situations i find!!


xxxx

 

[natashateale]

thanks ladies, i think ur all right. Men just dont get as involved with it as we do. But i am goin to ask tonight and just tell him he needs to tell me the truth about how he feels about it and i will take what he says and believe him

 

[shorty88]

gd luck huni.

 

[shorty88]

Natasha does your oh now you chat on here??

i havent told mine!! (not sure if i should) xxxx

 

[natashateale]

No he doesnt shorty88
I dont know how he would take it x

 

[shorty88]

same here lol xxx

 

[natashateale]

I wonder how many of us ladies do tell there OH?

Its just nice to be able to have some people to talk to

 

[shorty88]

i just did a thread as i wondered that too hehe.

yer i no how u feel. plus u get the many questions answered with some wicked advise.

feel free to pm me anytime hun.

 

[natashateale]

Thank u hun i am going to look at ur thread now lol x