I did it...

[Dragonfly Fi]

I had sex with Liam tonight, i tried last night but i was too scared to. I didnt know why i just knew it was something emotional not something physical like with Jasper

We did it, and it was nice and he was very very nice to me. But afterwards i just burst out crying, i just lay their naked and sobbing on his chest for about 20mins. Proper streaming tears with big giant sobs. Liam just kissed my tears and wiped my neck and back with a baby wipe which kept me cool.

it was really, really good to have a cry (and start perhaps making babies again because i long for one)

but i was amazed at the emotion that came out when i let myself be vunerable.

I think there will be more times when i just need him to hold me while i cry but i will embrace them because i think its healthy.

I hope everybody else is okay today xx

 

[karenandbump]

Hugs hon. Glad ur able to let it out with him hon cos u must need that release. Still thinking of u lots x x x

 

[Princess81]

xx

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

I suppose i hadnt realised that i was holding back so much emotion, when we first tried to have sex last night i felt like i had this scared little girl inside me who was just curled up in tears and was too scared to come and show herself to us. Today i think she was allowed some time to grieve and i think thats really positive. Tomorrow me and Jasper are going to have a lovely day of playing and cooking and sorting out our beautiful house.

 

[Princess81]

I think grief can be exhausting. when u need to cry proper big sad tears it is nearly a relief to release them. Letting those tears come is good for the soul and allows you to think more clearly for a while. Let those tears come whenever they need to x

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

I think i will always be a bit too highly strung to cry properly in front of many people. It makes me feel uncomfortable (though i did nearly erupt at the pub on Thursday) And obviously 99% of the time i and with Jasper so i need to be strong and happy for him

But today i did let myself go and Liam was lovely about it. So that was good and even if i dont feel i can let her out all the time, at least i have some release there.

 

[Princess81]

Yes I doubt many people could properly let go unless they felt comfortable with their surroundings. It's only happened to me once where I wasnt prepared for it and that was in front of MIL! But still, it did me good even though I'd rather it hadn't happened.

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

I nearly had that in the pub! With my old school mates mum (i think she reminded me of simpler times as well as being really sweet) But i managed (and it was hard) to chock it back and carry on!

i was actually scared of breaking down in the pub... shocking!

MIL i would find that really uncomfy myself because shes quite hard and cold my MIL but i hope yours was nicer and nicer to you x