How can i do this?

[xshauna_bazx]

I am so scared i wake up every morning feeling sick and tbh i think i am starting to feel a bit depressed over it which i will mention to my midwife this morning. How am i gonna cope with the most painful thing anyone will go through? i hate hospitals and really don't think i will be able to do it. I am such a wimp i cannot handle pains when i really need the toilet! Very scared words cannot even describe how i feel right now
Secondly me with a baby? How will i look after her? i can't even make a bottle...what if i regret having her, she didnt ask to be born and i really don't want to regret her as i love her already! Lots of things going on in my head...this can't be normal? I am so worried of getting post natal depression and not bonding with her, she deserves the best and i don't think i can give her that. Someone tell me i am not alone? xxx

 

[PinkPanther]

Aw honey. Every mum goes through thinking what is running through your head. You wouldn't be human if you didn't have anxieties like you have. This is my 3rd child and I still have these thoughts.

Do have a word with your midwife to put your mind at rest. Keep talking to her about your fears of giving birth. Ive had to do this with my midwife. She also recommended an hypnobirthing cd which is very relaxing I must admit.

Hope she relieves some of your fears for you.xx

 

[PinkPanther]

Oh and for making bottles why don't you have a practice run before hand? Just so that it's clear in your head and give you confidence to know that when bubs is here you knOw what you're doing.

 

[pinkymum]

Aww hun, I agree with pinkpanther, everyone has thoughts like this. I have, just remember every mum was a new mum once, and probably felt the same. All of us will make mistakes, none of us are perfect but we'll try our best! Speak to your midwife about it but remember all the exciting stuff to come too

Hope you feel a bit more settled soon!

x

 

[wishuponastar]

Oh Shauna. Definitely speak to your mw and also perhaps your GP.

Hope you feel better soon honey.

xx

 

[cherelle]

Oh Shauna, i remember when we were in TTC - think how hard you worked for this baby and how much you wanted this - youll be a great mum! x

 

[clairebear22]

I've had 11 years childcare experience and people keep saying "well you won't struggle, you know what you're doing". I'm still crapping myself about having my own Son to care for. People forget that yes I have alot of experience and knowledge but i've never 'raised' a child before, I take orders from the Parent's of the children I childmind. Plus i've never had a new born to look after before!

Defo speak to your Midwife hun but hopefully all your fears will melt away when you see your baby girl's face for the first time! All the bottle making/nappy changing can be learnt, loving your Daughter will come naturally i'm sure! x

 

[Lexusno1]

I know you won't believe it until you've done it but you really will be fine Hun.

If it helps just focus on the epidural! You see women on TV and can't even tell their in labour when they've had one so that's something to focus on about the birth.

As for your concerns about looking after her and loving her, these fears are 100% normal and even though they are normal, talk about them. With Ur Mum, OH and Midwife.

I had a hormonal wobble the other night and wondered how I'd cope second time round, what if Jaiden is poorly, what if I can't manage when OH goes back to work etc but I know I will! I will cos I have to and there are a lot more women with a lot more kids and single so if they can do it, I can and so will you. You will go through times like this and have very panicking thoughts and concerns but I can't stress to you enough how important it is to have a chat about it. Once u say what's on ur mind and someone puts things into perspective for you you'll feel so much better.

Xxx

 

[midnight]

aww shauna please dont worry about the birth you get pain relief and like ive said before if people can have an epidural and sleep through contractions it must be damm good stuff so you will prob not feel much
as for making bottles its just as easy as making food no we are not all born with this knowledge its something we learn it actually tells you how to do it on the tin then to test if its hot or cold squirt some milk on the inside of your arm and it should feel warm not hot or cold thats the right temp for baby milk for telling if the room is too hot or cold buy room thermometers they are great and also a bath thermometer so you know the water temp is just right every new mum has these worries heck even i have these worries sometimes

you wont regret having her at all there will be times when you think omg what have i done but the next day you will be fine and then sometimes you will just wish for 1 nights sleep undisturbed but it does get easier trust me give it a few weeks with a newborn and you will gaze into her eyes and she will gaze back up at you with every bit of confidence that she has the best mummy she could ever wish for and you will wonder what the hell you worried about your already caring for her and giving her all she needs xxxx

 

[treeze]

ahw hun - try not to worry - i'm sure you will be absolutely fine. it's so scary when you don't know what labour's going to be like but once it happens you really will be amazed at how you cope with it. Like has been said above... if you're worried about the pain get an epidural... i can honestly honestly say that once it's in and working you cannot feel a thing... i watched tele and sent my hubby off to asda to buy chocolate brownies whilst i just waited to dilate from 5 to 10cm. then afterwards i DID fall asleep while they were doing my stitches where i had a small tear - i couldn't feel a thing - and by the time the epidural wore off it was slightly tender down below but nothing major.

Chat to your MW and tell her your worries and i'm sure she'll have some good avice.

i've got to remind myself how to do all the bottles etc too as i've already forgotten! Get some ready made cartons as emergencys if you're really worried.. and once baby is here just do things exactly how you want to - there's no right or wrong way of being a mum and you will just adapt to what your baby needs. i'm sure you'll be fine and it's perfectly normal to worry about these things.

take care and talk to your mw x x x

 

[mumofmany]

let me tell you now I am on my 6th and still have these worries, you are normal. All babies are different and everyone just presumes you will know what to do straight away. I wonder if i will love this baby like my others especially as i didnlt want another one and it was a bit of an oopsy. me and hubby spoke alot at th beginning and can you believe i nearly didn't have this baby, i rang up and cancelled termination at 7.45 i was supposed to be there at 8am, and the guilt of that kills me especially as then I lost the other twin, other times I panic and wonder have I dont the right thing will we really be able to cope with 6 will my other kids be pushed out, what about my poor eldest child who already I have made get the bus to dance on a tuesday night and made my faily take him to auditions and competitions so I am not fully there for him like I was and again the guilt i feel. what about my poor husband who now works over 80 hours just so we have enough money to live on thats not fair on him either and kids not seeing their dad as much as they should, thats why he going back to plastering now work is coming in so that problem should be sorted. right now I feel much better for getting that out and I have been totally honest about how I feel for the first time ever i think. I hope I have made you feel a little bit better that even when you have other kids its still a scary thought to be a mum again. But also on the other hand I cant wait to have baby and i feel as long as we all still have love and each other we can ge though anything ok its not going to be easy but definatly worth it. and after all who wants an easy life, life would be boring.

 

[xshauna_bazx]

Thank you so much everyone it really means alot to me to have you lot to talk to. I talked to the midwife and she thinks the Epidural would be best for me as its best to try and stay relaxed. It made me feel alot better talking to her...i told her i wanted to try other pain relief before the epidural. I honestly don't think i will do it without but i will try. I think i will feel disappointed in myself if i get an Epidural...do you know what i mean? like everyone else nearly goes without and when i tell people i had the epidural. I know i shouldn't feel like that but i really think i will. I hope i bond straight away with her, would hate not to have that bond...i really worry about that.

Mumofmany, it really does help getting it all out i felt better as soon as i wrote this thread. You have helped alot hun and i appreciate your support everyone! I don't think OH understands much so i tend not to tell him and didn't mention much to the midwife either or i would of started crying lol...OH was there too and i feel a bit silly. xxx

 

[riotfox]

People won't think any differently of you for having an epidural. Your not any better at giving birth if you ony have gas and air. I don't even know what pain relief I want yet. I don't know how I will cope until labour starts.

You will definitely bond with your daughter. Keep talking about your anxieties though. We all have them. I keep having little panics even though I'm so excited. xx

 

[pinkymum]

I wouldn't think any differently about you for having an epidural. If I'm really struggling I'll ask for one too. I'm glad you spoke to the midwife. I get times where I think I must be crazy because I planned this baby as a single person....... And I know there will be times when its hard, but its going to be so worth it.



x

 

[Lexusno1]

I'm pretty sure I would have had one this labour if I wasn't already at 9cm! I think I remember telling her to still give me one anyway at that point! Lol! It's in no way a sign of weakness or failure. Having a baby is the bravest thing you can do in life!!! And it's fine to cry! Xxx

 

[Sunnyb]

Shauna it's perfectly normal to feel how you do. I'm like Clairebear as I'm a qualified Nursery Nurse & everyone thinks because you're trained you'll know what to do. But when they're your own it is totally different! I have had a good cry for the last few days as I'm so frightened about giving birth a second time around. I had major complications with Joseph & had PND & very strange thoughts towards him & myself. This baby is due the same day Joseph was & it's like history repeating itself. I'm severely anaemic & frightened of the birth & feeling ill afterwards & depression. How will I cope with no sleep, the school run, sharing love between 2 children, I love Joseph so much that I'm finding it hard to think I'll love this one the same. I sometimes wish I'd not got pregnant, then feel guilty for feeling this way knowing there's others TTC & would give anything to be me. I worry about our finances, mine & hubby's relationship & soooooo much more.
So see Shauna you are not the only one to have the wobbles & I totally understand you hun.
I said I was never having another after Joseph & here I am shitting myself about it a second time around. Just goes to show though that no matter how painful or bad your birth is, it seems to fade to the back of your memory & once your baby girl is placed in your arms it will make it all seem worth it x

Sunnyb xxx

 

[xx emma xx]

Shauna I have days where I am absolutely terrified and think what am I doing and get so overwhelmed by everything. As the due date draws closer I want baby so bad but also terrified of the pain. I will ask for an epidural if I'm in too much pain and can't handle it and I don't care what people think, nobody will think bad of us for getting an epidural. In fact who needs to know apart from mw and OH. We are all scared about becoming a mum but we will get there, everyone does.
Hope your feeling a bit better xx

 

[wishuponastar]

I'm pretty sure I would have had one this labour if I wasn't already at 9cm! I think I remember telling her to still give me one anyway at that point! Lol! It's in no way a sign of weakness or failure. Having a baby is the bravest thing you can do in life!!! And it's fine to cry! Xxx

Ah Lexus you're so lovely.

xx

 

[midnight]

having an epidural doesnt mean your weak or anything like that some peolpe have stronger pain thresholds than others and some have more pain than others

i only dont chose to have 1 because i dont fancy the needle and dont like not feeling my legs fully not that i wanna brave it i know i can do it on just gas and air because ive done it before but i still opt for diamorphine or pethadine just because i dont think you should go through loads of pain when there is no need to

 

[xshauna_bazx]

Thanks again girls...it is nice to know i am not alone in the way i am feeling! Sunnyb, i find myself thinking the same about being pregnant sometimes too then feel so bad for thinking it. Then i see my baby move and feel nothing but love. I remember i was nervous about feeling her move incase i never liked it but i try to make her move now I do feel better now but i know it will come back again...hope it doesn't. I am so glad to have you lot!!! I would go crazy without you girls xxx