i cant do this

Discussion in 'Third Trimester' started by mummy2b19, Feb 2, 2012.

  1. mummy2b19

    mummy2b19 Well-Known Member

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    I'm having a complete breakdown! I have no idea how to look after a baby, how am I going to know she needs feeding or what's wrong with her. How do you entertain a baby. Who do I know if she's too hot or too cold? What do I do if I need the toilet in hospital i can't take her with me but i can't leave her. How do i know if she's tiered. How am i going to cope when OH goes back to work im terrified of hurting her. What gives me the right to have a child when there are so many other women out there who can't concive? I'm a complete mess i can feel everything getting on top of me and i can't let it, i don't want to end up on anti depressants again. Is this depression coming back or is iy just hormones. Please someone help me x
     
  2. Lilelephant

    Lilelephant Well-Known Member

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    Breathe hun! I had the exact same breakdown before O was Born!
    All u need to do is love ur LO and do ur best! It does come naturally, but it is a learning curve!
    You will be a great mummy x


     
  3. mummy2b19

    mummy2b19 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you mrsmc its good to know its not just me. I got myself into a right state xx
     
  4. sammi7

    sammi7 Well-Known Member

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    I feel the same at times aswell, I was actually going to mention it to mw 2mro. It's just getting so close to our LO's being here and also knowing i am going to be responsible scare me lol I don't know why I feel like this because I work with children everyday and also have my step daughter staying with me x hope you feel better soon xx
     
  5. Nic36

    Nic36 Well-Known Member

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    Awww... Most of us feel like that at some time (or even a lot of the time). I know I am having so many doubts about how I am going to cope with being a Mum - but look at all the millions of women who become mothers every day, and the vast majority do a very good job. All we can do is try our best - we will never get everything right or be perfect, but we try our best to love and nurture our LOs. You will be every bit as good as the next mother... Have confidence in yourself... You can do it! :)
     
  6. mummy2b19

    mummy2b19 Well-Known Member

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    I have calmed myself down a bit now I was starting to set my asthma off which is bad for baby OH came and gave me a cuddle and I have pulled myself together a bit. I think I've been thinking about labour that when I suddenly thought about what happens after that it hit me like a speeding train xx
     
  7. x_larlybelle_x

    x_larlybelle_x Well-Known Member

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    It overwhelmes me at times.

    It took us 2 and a half years to conceive and now baby is nearly due I'm crappin myself!! I've been around babies before but this is completely different.

    Like MrsMc says, I know I'm gonna love this little person more than I do now and it'll be a learning curve for us both. I've gotta learn what he needs and he has to learn mummy won't know all the time! That's what ur parents and ur ohs presents are for!! And, most importantly, the baby and toddler section of this amazing forum! Ladies who have all been there done that and are here to offer their support and words of wisdom :hug:
     
  8. Verity2011

    Verity2011 Well-Known Member

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    Awwwww hon, I think it is hormones mixed with the impending life change which is huge! I've freaked out too, because it seems massive to have this gorgeous helpless thing completely dependent on you and the closest I've had to this are my cats! I've phoned my mum about everything, didn't even know how to dress a baby properly (why do they wear vests and sleep suits...... oooooooooohhhhh cos you layer their clothing - I had no idea!) and I've had a few really upsetting dreams about this but everyone has assured me that you just know your own baby and it all comes to you plus just make sure you have a support network around you and everything will be fine.

    I think the fact you're worrying like this is PROOF that you will be an utterly wonderful mum :hugs:
     
  9. mummy2b19

    mummy2b19 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you all so much you have made me feel loads better. So glad I found this forum its so reasuring to know other people feel like this too and its not just me. I love my baby so much even though she wasn't planned and im going to make sure she has the best life I can possibly give her :D x
     
  10. x_larlybelle_x

    x_larlybelle_x Well-Known Member

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    Well said hunny. Ur best is all u can do and it will be good enough :hug:
     
  11. Hunnie

    Hunnie Well-Known Member

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    I had so many break downs whilst I was pregnant that it made both my OH and mum think that I would reject Sophie once she was born. The moment I held her though it was just amazingly brilliant.

    Honestly it comes natural!!! I've never had any experience with little babies (I had never even held one let alone changed a nappy) and at times its been hard trying to understand what she's crying for and what she needs but 3 weeks in already and I can't remember what it was like to never have a baby and the only times when I struggle is when I get overtired.

    OH works pretty much day and night and I'd say it's easier when he's not here as I have to get on with it all myself and there's no opportunity to get worked up and think I can't do it because if I don't then there's no one else there to care for Sophie for me.

    Trust me, you'll manage :D xxxx.

    Eta: and every minute of it all is 100% worth it and I wonder why I ever got so worked up and worried because it really isn't what you make it out to be in your head xxx
     
  12. NinjaKitty

    NinjaKitty Well-Known Member

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    Don't worry. It's perfectly normal to feel that way. DH and I are both 38 yet I was still amazed that they let us take home this little bundle like we're responsible adults or something.

    We're not exactly experienced with little babies but have found out its way better looking after your own. You have to do it from the word go. You soon get used to it and because they grow and develop in front of you it's kinda natural and you just get on with it.
     
  13. vickib_1984

    vickib_1984 Well-Known Member

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    You'll be fine you really will when people say its instinct and will all come to you when shes here it really will!!!! And as for going to the loo at hospital and not being able to take her with you you will be able to and when you have a shower she will be in a cot with wheels so you can take her anywhere as long as its not off the ward, you really will do fine it's all first time mum nerves and even second time mums get gitters. My main worry is my 8yr old what ammo going to do if I go into labour in the middle of the night and can't get hold of my sister on law etc lol I know I will because if she doesn't answer I will rip her a new arse hole lmao xxxx
     
  14. Esperanza84

    Esperanza84 Well-Known Member

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    You'll do absolutely fine! Soooo many women become mothers every day and it's one of the most natural things that happend to us. I'm glad you're feeling better!!!

    xx
     
  15. pinkyprincess

    pinkyprincess Well-Known Member

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    I was EXACTLY the same! And when the HV visited for the first time she asked me if I worked with kids (which I don't) because I was so comfortable and confident with Tyler!

    It will come to you please don't worry!!

    Re the hospital, just leave baby! Baby's sleep A LOT when they are first born just leave him while you nip to the loo! It'll be fine. If not ask the midwives :)


     
  16. mummy2b19

    mummy2b19 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you I feel so much better this morning, I know I've got an amazing support network around me, and if I stay on the unit for a few days after I give birth I will get taught alot by the midwives they all seemed really nice thanks for the reasurance ladies your all brilliant xxx
     
  17. JoJo79

    JoJo79 Well-Known Member

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    Hey hunni glad your feeling calmer now,

    Dont know if they do it at all hospitals but here (Hull) the little cots have keys in them with pressurized mattresses on so if you need to shower/pee/eat etc you activate the alarm and take the key with you that way if anyone should pick bubs up (which they wont) it sounds an alarm to alert everyone, might be worth asking bout it?

    Also have to say as a soon to be 3rd time mum im bricking it!!!!

    I might aswell be a new mum for 1st time cos its been that long! The other ladies are right non of us know how to look after a baby you just do it and im 100% sure you'll be a natural

    (actually think imo the first yr or so is the easiest im so struggling more now with a 12yr old hormonal pre teen!!!!)

    :hugs: xxxx
     

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