Hormones or do I have a right to b upset?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Chat' started by Vic27, Jun 1, 2013.

  1. Vic27

    Vic27 Well-Known Member

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    So I'm now 29 weeks pregnant with my first baby and he will b the first grandchild on each side. My family are so excited and have been great and really supportive they have been buying the baby little presents which I'm so grateful for!
    The problem is my husbands family in particular my mother in law it just seems like she couldn't give a toss!
    I haven't seen or heard from her since Mother's Day! She has made no effort whatsoever to text/phone me to see how I am and find out how her grandson is coming along and I'm really annoyed and upset. I find it so strange especially after she would always go on about how much she wanted to have a grandchild and went on a d on about it telling us to get a move on?!
    I'm also feeling a bit upset as my husbands uncle is getting married on Friday but he's going himself as I couldn't get the day off for it as we were only given 3/4 weeks notice so I'm feeling really left out. I know there's nothing can b done its just one of those things but I'm really upset that I'm going to b the only one not there and I haven't seen any of his family since falling pregnant and probably won't see them until well after baby is born.

    They are so different to my family and I accept that but I just can't understand why they wouldn't want to know how I am and their grandson is.

    His dad I don't really mind about and he does at least ask my husband how we are and asks to see scan photos an photos of the nursery and offered to give us some money which was nice.
    But his mum has bought nothing not one thing which I'm so shocked at!
    I don't like her boyfriend either who I think is having a bit of an effect on her and the way she is behaving he's very insecure and possessive!

    Am I being hormonal and daft or do I have a reason to b upset?

    Sorry for the long rant! X
     
  2. sunnyland27

    sunnyland27 Well-Known Member

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    You're not being daft but there is a possibility she just doesn't want to interfere. She also may have bought things but is keeping them as a surprise for nearer the time? I think in general you should trust your insticts, but you never know because some families are just like that x
     
  3. babyslog

    babyslog Well-Known Member

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    No hun i understand!

    I kinda have the same issue!
    I fnt get any texts or calls off my MIL either! Yet its my fault if we havent been to see them? And they moan.. We live 10min car ride away, nothing stopping them from popping iver. Yet its my fault!?

    i had my baby shower a month ago, she didnt offer to help my mum at all and while at the shower she didnt spk to any of my family, stayed in the corner with OHs aunties, cousins and his nan. All i got from her was a hello and then bye wen it finished!!!!

    Strange!

    Yet i bet when baby arrives she wont leave me alone!!!
     
  4. Lulubelle

    Lulubelle Well-Known Member

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    You only have to look at the threads on the board to see what a hard time MIL's have striking the right balance. The number of people who have said MIL has bought this and that and I feel like shes taken over to MIL has bought nothing and I feel like she doesn't care.

    I am sure she does care but as you said, his family is very different from yours so whilst they may not show it in the same way, the fact she was talking about how much she wanted a grandchild etc shows that she is very pleased for you. If she really wasn;t interested she wouldn;t have come to the baby shower. Maybe she felt awkward and not wanting to push in with your mum who (I assume planned it for you?)

    How was she when it came to the wedding? Was she hands on planning or did she let you and your mum do it all?
     
  5. Clairabelle

    Clairabelle Well-Known Member

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    I agree with Lulubelle - I think MIL's do have a hard time getting the balance right. My ex MIL wasn't interfering at all with the children, but she saw them regularly and took them out. I've always said she was a good nan. BUT she used to drive me mad cos she was so nosey and would come to the house and help herself to tea and biscuits, as if because it was her son's house too, she had a right to. I used to dread her coming to visit and would go round like a mad woman to get the house spotless so she didn't think I was a crap wife lol. Having said that I always used to try and involve her in things and see things from her point of view, knowing that having 2 boys I am going to be a dreaded MIL one day lol.
    I'm so glad I don't have to stress about any of that anymore. My current partner doesn't have anything to do with his parents so I won't have that problem anymore.
     
  6. Positive37

    Positive37 Well-Known Member

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    MIL are a hard one to balance, My MIL has been very generous and calls and does care but tends to ask more about how baby is not how I am - Mmmm maybe thats normal. were u close before u got pregnant?

    My partners Dad lives in Devon we are in essex he had so far brought a pair of socks for moo my boyfriend isnt happy.
    he complains we dont call him but he doesnt call us either
    when i do speak to him i cant say -im tired etc he just says oh not that tired pregnant bit.does my head in

    does OH know how you feel?xx
     
  7. Bellarina

    Bellarina Well-Known Member

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    I totally see where ur coming from hun....my MIL is a right cow....whole pregnancy not once asked how I am or asked about the baby....lives 10/15 min drive away and never visits (but has a go if we don't visit her)....not offered to buy anything and has little digs at me when hubby out of earshot whenever she gets the chance. Im having my baby shower nxt weekend and if I coda got away with it I woodnt have invited her as she clearly doesn't give a toss, but iv had to and she is coming. cant see her making an effort to mix tho.

    my family on other hand are soooooo excited and have bought loads for baby already and always kissing my bump and talking to it etc.....crazy how 2 families can b so different isn't it

    xxx
     
  8. babyslog

    babyslog Well-Known Member

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    Sounds just like my situation! X
     
  9. Bellarina

    Bellarina Well-Known Member

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    we r such a cliché aren't we hun "my MIL" queue the jokes lol

    xxx
     
  10. babyslog

    babyslog Well-Known Member

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    Hahaaa! Xx
     

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