why am i so upset?!! long sorry!

[Lilypad]

just found out my brother's g'friend is preg and is due a month after me. they already have a daugter who will b 3 in sept. none of the family see them v much cause she only likes her own family and he doesn't make any effort with our family. my mum tries 2 see them but always being told there busy so has only seen them 4 times this yr! mum is upset most of the time that she has lost her son!
our family have never liked her because she fell preg 1st time to trap him. she never told any1 she was preg including my bro! she waited till she was 24 wks so she was too far gone 4 an abortion! she was 18 he was 21.
our family only found out when 1 of my friends spoted them in the street and rang me asking if she was preg?!!!
they r still 2gether
anyway! just found out she's preg again and is due nov!!! so again didn't tell any1 till really late!
i was really upset when mum told me and am not sure why?
i'm the eldest and thought i'd have the 1st grandchild so aws upset 1st time round.
i feel she is stealing my limelight as its only a month later! i know my mum see's my child as her 1st "real" grandchild cause she doesn't get 2 see her. but will i have mum moaning that she isn't seeing this 1 too shortly after mine is born??
why do i feel so upset as i know its his life and my baby will have lots of atention.

sorry for the rant just had 2 get it off my chest!

 

[laetitia85]

I understand where you're coming from and I appreciate that she might not be the nicest person but as far as her pregnancy goes I don't think it's right for you to feel so bitter about it. She is pregnant, that's what couples do, they have children, so whether she is due a month or two after you shouldn't make ur mum or your family love your baby less than hers. It's out of order that she doesn't make any effort to be in touch with your family and in a way she's taking your brother away from you, and so the way you feel about her is perfectly understandable. Is there anyway you could all sit down and talk about it as a family? or perhaps organise a huge joint baby shower/barbecue type of thing so you could get a bit closer, and maybe understand each other more. Also it would be good for the kids to grow up close to one another. Don't worry about her stealing your limelight, you are who you are, and the people around you love you for who you are! i'm sure that your baby will recieve a lot of attention, as u said, so this whole feeling of slight 'jealousy' shouldn't be there, just enjoy the pregnancy and be happy for her too, a baby is always a blessing.

 

[leckershell]

I would feel annoyed too, but would try and figure out if I could be friends with her or at least amicable. It can be nice to know someone in a similar stage of pregnancy, and if she's been there before she'd maybe be able to help you out with what you've still got to come. There's a great bond between pregnant women even if you don't know each other, as you already have so much to talk about.

She's not going away in a hurry so you could try and talk to her, since you have a choice of her being there and you not getting on, or her being there and you getting along ok... if you got on ok with her, you'd be able to see more of your brother too ?

But I'm not belittling how you feel or anything, I wouldn't be happy either! I would just try and make the best of a bad situation x

 

[Lilypad]

thanx guys!!
i know i'm being over emotional and i am happy for them.
the family and myself have tried to spend more time with them but they don't ever wanna join in with us. i would love our familys to grow up together as me and my cousins did so maybe i'll see if we can try to arrange something saying that to my bro.

 

[fynemum]

There is a little saying....'you can pick your friends ,but not your family'

it's so true, I am glad you are trying to make the best of this situation. Please don't worry about your feelings, they are normal. As time goes by, it will get easier. I hope your 'future sister in law' can make the effort. Lv Yvonne xx