Honest opinions - leaving baby for an evening out

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by CARNAT22, May 28, 2013.

  1. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    OH has booked us a table at a lovely restaurant I've always wanted to try. No reason [other than we've not been out just us since June last year!!]

    He said he'd ask his Mum or brother to mind James when he mentioned sorting this evening out... all fine!

    He rings me half an hour ago, table booked for 8pm tomorrow. Yay!

    Then he drops the bombshell on me that his other brother and his new girlfriend who I have never met are going to babysit.

    I went mental and am sat here in tears that he could even think I would leave my baby with a stranger!!

    However, now I am being a teeny bit more rational I am thinking I did overreact?

    Obviously we are not leaving baby with a stranger, James will be with his uncle. Also these are professional 35 year old people not teenagers.

    James is going to come into contact with strangers as he'll be going into childcare at the end of the year so maybe I am being too precious.

    Am I making too much of a big deal out of it?

    OH is crushed that his good deed has just ended with me telling him to shove dinner up his arse!

    xxxxxx
     
  2. knopk@

    [email protected] Well-Known Member

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    Hmmm its a weird one. Does his uncle have kids? Has he ever babysat?
    I personally wouldnt want his gf in my house if i havent met her

    Tapatalking so cant see signatures
     
  3. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    Yep James knows his uncle and he is fab with all the other kids, but nope he doesn't have kids and he's never had James (no-one has this is the first time we've been out since having him)

    OH has met the new GF few times and really likes her, but I've never met her. I am pretty protective of my house at the best of times - I hate having people round LOL - but having a stranger here just makes me feel funny.

    However I do feel like I reacted really badly and I didn't give it any real thought so I just wanted opinions.

    xxxxxx
     
    #3 CARNAT22, May 28, 2013
    Last edited: May 28, 2013
  4. babyslog

    babyslog Well-Known Member

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    I think its ok hun... If hes close to his brother and he trusts him and you trust him then i see no problem in it.

    I understand you haven't managed to meet her yet, but this could be James' future aunty!
    Your not staying out for the night so ull be home within a few hours. Just as long as they know to contact u asap if they are concerned i think its ok :)

    Thats just me tho.. Id trust my siblings.

    But Its your baby so do what feels right hun xxx
     
  5. babyslog

    babyslog Well-Known Member

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    Are they able to pop over this evening so u can spend a few hours with her and James can aswell.

    That might make u feel a bit better??xxx
     
  6. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    Well I think OH is cancelling the reservation now :shock: but I am still interested to hear what people think.

    I would feel the same way if it was brother and a new GF (in-fact I'd not even let my youngest bro babysit as he is 23 and only held James for the first time last week. He doesn't "do" small babies but James is big enough for him to manhandle now)

    xxxxxxxxx
     
  7. Leah04x

    Leah04x Well-Known Member

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    I agree about doing what you feel comfortable with :) personally, I don't really see a problem with it as long as you trust James' uncle xx
     
  8. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    Yep, James' uncle is trustworthy.

    James doesn't see this uncle as much as he sees OH's younger bro and in all honesty I'd prefer him to babysit but yep if it was just the uncle I wouldn't mind. Its the stranger that is bothering me :lol:

    xxxxxxx
     
  9. babyslog

    babyslog Well-Known Member

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    Thats completely understandable hun.
    Spesh as its your 1st night out aswell u need that extra security that everything is in hand! Not that shes guna do anything but its what makes u feel comfortable!

    Without hurting their feelings and saying no is there anyone else that could at short notice?? Would be a shame to cancel ur meal xx
     
  10. toni64539

    toni64539 Well-Known Member

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    I wouldn't be happy to be honest a) because I hadn't met her and b) if they're newly together I'd be worried they'd just be getting off with eachother and not watching James ha! But I am, by nature an over the top worrier. Plus I wouldn't let anyone look after my baby unless they'd had kids themselves as parents (no matter how long ago) just have that instinct x
     
    #10 toni64539, May 28, 2013
    Last edited: May 28, 2013
  11. tambo1976

    tambo1976 Well-Known Member

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    I wouldn't be happy with it either. I would rather him cancel the reservation, the restaurant will still be there another day when you have someone to babysit James who you know better. I'm just a fussy cow lol, I have hardly ever left any of kids with anyone let alone people who I have never met x
     
  12. diane

    diane Well-Known Member

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    I wouldn't be happy with it hun. I don't mind leaving my lo (she's 16 week and been left with both grandparents, aunty and stayed out twice) but I wouldn't leave her with somebody there who I didn't know. So I don't think you've over reacted at all! X
     
  13. Hope81

    Hope81 Well-Known Member

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    I would let them babysit but not for me going to a restaurant. Hmmm that's pounds weird I didn't mean that you don't deserve a night out but for a planned thing like that I would probably choose one of te grandparents to do it? If it was an unpredictable sth, I would be ok if not other solution. I would be a little funny for letting Amelie with someone in my own house that I don't know while I have fun but on the other hand if I had to get an emergency dentist appointment it dosent sound so bad? God I suck on explaining things in English lol.
    All in one James will be ok and he will be in care of strangers at the nursery so an uncle and a stranger actually sounds a good training session for both you and James. (If I think rational about this)
    A 6 m old is easy to keep happy and if no bedtime routine or sth similar is required they will be more than fine
     
  14. Frankie_Lou

    Frankie_Lou Well-Known Member

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    I had this exact problem a few weeks ago when I agreed to do an extra day at work.

    BIL's Gf had arranged to have William all day, I know her quite well and trust her completely with children even though she's only 19. At the last minute OH informed me that she could only do half the day but her mum was going to come and do the second half. This completely freaked me out because I'd only ever met the woman once in passing and couldn't even remember what she looked like. And I wouldn't even be there to hand him over.
    We had such a massive fight about it because he didn't understand why this made me uncomfortable. The ridiculous thing was that this woman was a former bloody midwife who'd had 3 children of her own and had even worked as a childminder for a couple of years. So i knew she knew how to look after him. It was the fact that William hadn't met her that bothered me more than me not knowing her. I couldn't bear the thought that he might get upset and she wouldn't be able to settle him.
    In the end I agreed to it in the absence of a different solution and it worked out fine. She text me a couple of times during the afternoon to give me updates and when OH arrived home from work (before me) she told him she'd be more than willing to help us out again because he's a delight to look after ( I actually wondered if she'd been looking after the wrong child lol) .

    So to get to the point lol I realised that I'd been really unfair to my OH when I flew off the handle about it because he'd actually considered everything he knew about her before agreeing to it. However if you don't feel comfortable and happy enough to leave James then please don't as it won't do any of you any good x x
     
  15. mrswoody

    mrswoody Well-Known Member

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    Personally I would be ok with it. Like you said they are both 30 something professionals and are not likely to be making out on the sofa?!

    I would say go and enjoy your meal with oh sounds like he's really tried and just not thought about meeting the new gf?

    Entirely upto you though lovely x
     
  16. tweetyfoo

    tweetyfoo Well-Known Member

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    Idk ... I don't think I would have a problem with it as long as you were happy with BIl?

    It's hard to know really unless you are in that situation x


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  17. toni64539

    toni64539 Well-Known Member

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    My hubby was 33 when we got together and we did a lot of 'making out on the sofa' ha, if its a new relationship it's hard to keep your hands off eachother hahah, sadly that is a thing of the past now!!
     
  18. littlemonkey

    littlemonkey Well-Known Member

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    I wouldn't have someone I'd never met in my house without being there myself, baby or not!

    I'm a bad person to give my opinion cos I don't even trust OH's family to look after my son. We have different opinions on aspects of parenting and I get the feeling they would do all the things I don't want on purpose! As someone else said if I was an emergency, ok, but I wouldn't be happy for a night out.
     
  19. babybee

    babybee Well-Known Member

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    I wouldn't be comfortable either and agree with the reasons Toni gives.
    I don't trust many people with her, just my mum and sister for now.
    Xxx
     
  20. Wilson28

    Wilson28 Well-Known Member

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    personally I would be ok with this, its his brother, james uncle, and its nice he has taken time out of his plans and to offer to look after him for you.
    I would go out and let your hair down, and sop worrying about him.
    ask them round an hour before u go out for a drink so you can get to know her.
    xx
     

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