high risk because of mental health?

[BumbleTumble]

somehow, i don't think this will be a very common high risk factor, but i may be surprised.

i have been classed as high risk because of mental health issues (emotionally unstable personality disorder, previous schizophrenia blah blah blah!)

i have to see the obstetric consultant every 4 weeks and have scans every 4 weeks too (i think because of my anxiety about Jasmine being ok)

just wondered if anyone else has been classed high risk because of mental health problems?

 

[BevG]

im not, i had self harming and food issues when younger but i have control of those tendancies now but my oh's sister is getting lots of scans and being carefully looked after as shes really underweight. shes pretty much anorexic but dosent starve herself anymore, she eats tiny portions and never finishes a whole meal. basically a toddler will eat more than she does lol and shes 37 weeks, baby is fine and shes managing pretty well considering. she knows her issues but wouldnt class it as actual anorexia and isnt diagnosed so noone can tell her it is lol. shes stubborn but shes eating as much as she can for the babys sake and she has really tried to eat properly or at least often so she snacks most of the day. it must be hard dealing with the mental health team as well as midwives and consultants, and i hate ppl asking how i am all the time let alone when its for psych reasons. you have done really well hun x

 

[BumbleTumble]

thankyou BevG, it's good that you don't feel the need to do those things now, i know how they can get a hold of you. x

it's good that your OH's sister is trying to eat better now.

i get scared of being judged because of some rather obvious horrible scars, but im trying my best to be 'sane'! i suppose thats all i can do!
it irritates me, because people automatically think im going to be a bad mum because of the scars and my history, but there are pregnant women out there drinking and doing drugs, and mums who neglect their kids. just annoys me!

sorry, rant over!!!

 

[BevG]

well our scars remind us of how things used to be, like the song says lol. a lot of ppl suffer from depression and all kinds of lovely mental health issues, some of us are lucky and can learn to control them and some ppl need help to learn that control but however its done once your in control you know how to handle it to a certain degree. you are your own person and your illness dosent define you or mean you will act badly as a mum. i did a tattoo over my scars cos being a very logical person i always cut the same place, the same direction and with the same blade so its not very noticable, only the burn shows really. we all do things we know we shouldnt lol dosent make you 'crazy' if you act different, im weird for blurting things out impulsively, knowng if anything is ever moved in my house, thinking too logically, not being very emotional etc but it dosent make me a bad mum. hell my boss in work thinks i have aspergers cos of the way i act and interact with ppl and my mum was mortified at the idea of me being labelled so i gave up persuing it as im happy with my life atm but its silly to worry about labels. im sure you will be a brilliant mum and it gives you a great reason to get your life in order and make the most of it

 

[BumbleTumble]

thanks hun, all very, very true!

its so nice to hear that you are happy with everything right now.

people say that having a baby will change my life for the better, i think it will
xx

 

[BevG]

well ppl regret abortions and may regret the timing or circumstances of getting pregnant but i have never met anyone who regrets having their child. its either the making or breaking of you and if it breaks you then its a good time to gather up the pieces and start from scratch. nothing is ever that bad unless you let it take away your optimism lol

 

[BumbleTumble]

thats a really good way of putting it

ive been feeling a lot happier recently (despite being so uncomfortable!) im getting very excited!

 

[alilou]

Didnt want to read and run. my sister has always suffered with depression and has been in hospital a number of times with it, she is a mother of 2 and i think the girls have made her so much calmer and since she had her last girl she hasnt had to go to hospital. Dont worry about other people you will be an excellent mum and my best advice which i say to my sister all the time is get help before anything becomes a bigger problem family and friends are their to support you and they want to, dont let your past become your future you now have millions of things to look forward to. Good luck x

 

[Em91]

As you know from previous conversations, i am high risk due to a history of mental health problems (I had dissociative identity disorder due to childhood abuse), I've not suffered with these issues for a fair while, Haven't self harmed or been in hospital since i was 18. But MW still classed me as high risk because of the history. I was still on a lot of meds when i got pregnant and have since come off all of them, which was tough because it did affect my mood and sleep quite a bit to start with, but i just had to remind myself i was doing it for my baby!

I saw the consultant a few times who then decided they didn't need to see me and reffered me back to midwife led care.

I understand what you mean about the scars, i haven't self harmed on my arms since i was 16 so over 4 years but most of them required stiches etc so i've still got some rasied white scarring which is pretty noticeable, i've come to terms with the fact that i have to live with them and they don't bother me to much i only cover them up for work. But the scars on my legs never get seen because i wear trousers etc They're much worse than the ones on my arms and i worry that i'm going to get judged when it comes to labour!

I have this fear that they think i will be an awful mum because i have a history of mental health problems. Even though MW reffered my case to social services who looked at it and just sent a letter saying they thought it wasn't a case they needed to be involved in. I want being a mum to be a fresh start for me, i've moved on from the things that happened when i was a child and i want my baby to have a happy safe childhood, i'd hate for my past to become my baby's future if that makes sense?

I think your really strong for managing to get through pregnancy when things are so tough for you, at my worst i couldn't function for myself that alone for two! So your doing really well x

 

[BumbleTumble]

thanks alilou

Em, in regards to scars, for the last week or so, im just thinking f*ck it! i get very hot and if i want to roll my sleeves up then fine! i do get looks, but realistically, im not going to see any of these people again, and even if i do, i wont remember them!

its really good to hear that you feel you have moved on from the past, and i totally know what you mean about your past becoming baby's future. having a baby is tough for anyone, and its really good that you are doing so well.

im still having meetings with social services, but they seem to be ok. they are still trying to work out which parenting assessment unit im going to (they need to hurry up!)
im struggling a little bit with 'bad thoughts', but coping!

 

[littlemiss83]

I'm not that clued up on mental health issues but I just wanted to say that yes it is common to be high risk because of it. I have heard of ppl with minor mental health probs be high risk. Infact was there not someone on here recently who had childhood probs but none as an adult & was still high risk?

Try not to worry im sure they wont judge & only the MW's/doctors will know.

xxxxxxxxxx

 

[BumbleTumble]

it looks like i will be going to a mother and baby psychiatric unit rather soon.
they dont usually admit pregnant women, but it seems i am an exception.

i suppose it could be a good idea, i am getting rather anxious about everything, and i really dont want to get unwell again.

 

[Em91]

if its whats best for you and Jasmine it'll be worth it xx

Using tapatalk so excuse the typos!

 

[willowwisp]

I don't have anything to share, but I wanted to wish you the best for your pregnancy. Having scarring is part of who you are and your journey, just like a tattoo or a surgery scar, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

For what it's worth I know someone who is very bi-polar, and he is the most WONDERFUL father ever. I can't think of anyone I know who is a better dad than he is. Don't let other peoples perceptions hold you back from being the best parent you can be.

 

[Lolly85x]

Hey Bumble, try and not get anxious. You will be In good hands, and have some great support xx

 

[BumbleTumble]

thank you ladies

im becoming more comfortable with my scars, of course i would rather they weren't there, but they are and i shouldn't have to hide them just because of other people's judgement.

a lot of the staff here are being incredibly supportive, and my obstetrician says she has no concerns about my mental capacity, the nurses back this up.

so things are going well so far!

xx

 

[BevG]

yay, im glad its going brill hun, not long now til jasmine is gonna be arriving and you can snuggle her. believe me no matter how hard it gets or how much they cry when you snuggle them it all feels worth it

 

[BumbleTumble]

thanks Bev

im on the mother and baby psych unit now! apparently, i am the first ever pregnant woman to ever be admitted here, and this place has been open for donkeys years! so im pretty special

the staff are really supportive, they can help with feeds and stuff and take over at night if you are too tired, or even during the day if you need to have a rest.
its really good that i have come here before having Jasmine so i can get to know the staff a bit, because they will be so involved with her, id rather know them a bit first, otherwise it would be like total strangers holding my baby.

only 4 days to go now.

im seeing the consultant tomorrow

 

[BevG]

sounds great hun

 

[Em91]

Sounds like it'll be good for you & Jasmine

Using tapatalk so excuse the typos!