Hello new lady to this section - can I join?

[netty]

Where or not you agree with JJ, where else is she to go to get advice on IVF etc. She may not be lttc but this is the place people discuss and are knowledgable about such topics. Surprisingly, I thought that we tried to help pepole here, not make them feel bad. In actual reality, I feel disappointed that anyone on here would try and make someone else feel bad and guilty for what they have. I am sure that there have been numerous times when each and every person who has posted negatively has need help and confort, were you ever tyurned away?

well said chick

 

[daniph1]

WSS!!!!! xx

 

[EmilyB]

Ouch Lynette and Danphi

 

[netty]

dont get me wrong i see where people are coming from but its really uneccesary

this is an advice forum at the end of the day and thats what she wanted....advice

 

[CARNAT22]

I have popped in and out of LTTC but I have alwasy been well aware that my situation was very different to most women here (recurrent miscarriage)

The ladies here have always been full of useful advice and very friendly in my experience.

Yet I have always been very conscious when I have started threads here that my plight is different to most ladies in this section (not more or less difficult I hasten to add)

I guess it is just a judgement call - the OP wanted advice on IVF and she thought this was the best place to come. We were told that if our tests showed a problem with our choromosome compatibility we'd need to consider IUI so I would have automatically posted here had that been the case?

There are ladies in LTTC that already have kids and have had miscarriages so I don't know why this thread is so offensive?

I would say if you have nothing constructive to say then maybe you shouldn't post!

xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[EmilyB]

I didn't post until I'd seen several posts saying that itsbabytime was being unfair and I after a few of those I felt I wanted to let her know that she I understand where she is coming from.

It seems like it's ok to for someone who has miscarried to say that they would prefer be in the situation of someone who is unable to even conceive but I personally think that is just as offensive as anything itsbabytime has posted on here.

Perhaps I just don't understand the etiquette on here but when a group of people keep posting and telling someone they aren't entitled to their opinion when they are already having a difficult time is just uncalled for and I am glad I said something regardless what ever is posted back about me!

 

[daniph1]

What you dont understand is that this is no a personal attack upon anyone. The voice of reason says that when someone posts asking for advice, they should be given it and not made to feel bad. If someone posted about their religion would you critise it? Or their sexuality? or any thing else for that mnatter. The simple point is, that there is not a section that fits everyone. As carnat says miscarriage, where do we go, we can concieve, just have had difficulty keeping our babies. Forums like this one are not made to be confrontational, they are m,ade to be supportive and helpful. People should remember that. xx

 

[itisbabytime]

My issues is that it is entirely self inflicted. There are ladies in herw who are trying for number two, three,etc I do not have a problem with that because they are struggling through no fault of there own. The same goes for women who are trying after having to endure terrible losses. Just because you have had a bfp in the past do not think I have a problem with that because I truly do not if it is through no fault of your own. This is my opinion and I know many of you do not like it but JJMum must have known that not everyone would be sensitive to the situation.

 

[daniph1]

My issues is that it is entirely self inflicted. There are ladies in herw who are trying for number two, three,etc I do not have a problem with that because they are struggling through no fault of there own. The same goes for women who are trying after having to endure terrible losses. Just because you have had a bfp in the past do not think I have a problem with that because I truly do not if it is through no fault of your own. This is my opinion and I know many of you do not like it but JJMum must have known that not everyone would be sensitive to the situation.

Where or not you agree with it, JJ never asked for our opinions, she asked for support and advice in her journey. I whole heartedly will give anyone who needs support , for whatever they need support, my support. It is not my place to critisise decisions made, or to voice my opinion blindly regardless of consequences. x

 

[mishi]

It says LLTC & Fertility issues in the title of this section of the forum, is this not a fertility issue? If someone needs help and guidance, through their journey, regardless of why they are there, should we not be offering support?

Why don't people who don't want to give JJ advice, read her threads or support her through her journey just stay away from her threads?

I'm at a loss to understand this?

Also the 'self inflicted' sentence is making me cringe and it sounds so cruel. Has no one ever made a mistake? Regretted something they have done? We are not perfect, none of us. And making such a huge decision at a vulnerable, hormonal and emotional time was a decision that JJ is clearly regretting.

She needs the support of people who have gone through IVF, and her initial post was sensitive, To some extent that has been thrown back in her face and that is quite sad.

No members have ownership of this forum or can decide who should post what where (obvs no BFP's in ms/loss section). If you don't want to give advice, can you not just stay away and let JJ get the advice from the ladies here willing to give it and who welcomed her with open arms?x

 

[JJ Mum]

My issues is that it is entirely self inflicted.

Yes babytime - I too have huge issues with this bit ..........I always wanted 5 kids, but I was pregnantly hormonal and relieved at how lucky I was to be carrying to term after loosing at 12 weeks just mths before and so thought I was doing the right thing by my husband who had let me have a 4th, everyone can make a huge mistake, and I may well have to pay for that forever - but let me bear the guilt that one please If you had posted with something I felt very strongly about, I would have thought I would have just kept it to a minimum good luck or just not posted.

It might be worth just drawing a line under this one now - this is a lovely forum, everyone will have their own veiws on this, and I do apprieciate that I may never fully understand how raw feelings may be of some of the ladies in here, I did ask the mods remove my post the day after I realised it was a mistake and insensitive , but think they have overlooked it for now.

I wish ALLyou ladies lots of luck TTC X

 

[ZMD]

My issues is that it is entirely self inflicted.

Yes babytime - I too have huge issues with this bit ..........I always wanted 5 kids, but I was pregnantly hormonal and relieved at how lucky I was to be carrying to term after loosing at 12 weeks just mths before and so thought I was doing the right thing by my husband who had let me have a 4th, everyone can make a huge mistake, and I may well have to pay for that forever - but let me bear the guilt that one please If you had posted with something I felt very strongly about, I would have thought I would have just kept it to a minimum good luck or just not posted.

It might be worth just drawing a line under this one now - this is a lovely forum, everyone will have their own veiws on this, and I do apprieciate that I may never fully understand how raw feelings may be of some of the ladies in here, I did ask the mods remove my post the day after I realised it was a mistake and insensitive , but think they have overlooked it for now.

I wish ALLyou ladies lots of luck TTC X

I don't think your post was insensitive at all xx

Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk

 

[EmilyB]

I didn't post a response to JJ Mum because, yes I agree, if nothing constructive to say then not worth saying. I am starting IVF next month but that doesnt mean I have anything in common with her - I dont.

I posted on this thread support of someone who is struggling to conceive like I am.

I don't need as much support from this forum as most of you do - I don't post often and a lot of you seem to live in here

But if this section now includes anyone who is struggling to conceive baby number 5, 6, 7 and on then perhaps its not the place for me

I find it hard enough to talk to my friends who have children at the moment - I enjoyed this section being a bit of sanctuary away from it all.

It's not the end of the world and I agree we should all be nice to each other but I just didnt think that itsbabytime was being unreasonable and people kept posting responses...

It is interesting that most people who have posted in support of JJ Mum do not and will never have to have any experience of having to have IVF (I know LouiseB and Scotch Egg have) so they can't know how sad it is to find yourself in that position trying to get your first baby after months or years of trying..

x

 

[CARNAT22]

I didn't post a response to JJ Mum because, yes I agree, if nothing constructive to say then not worth saying. I am starting IVF next month but that doesnt mean I have anything in common with her - I dont.

I posted on this thread support of someone who is struggling to conceive like I am.

I don't need as much support from this forum as most of you do - I don't post often and a lot of you seem to live in here

But if this section now includes anyone who is struggling to conceive baby number 5, 6, 7 and on then perhaps its not the place for me

I find it hard enough to talk to my friends who have children at the moment - I enjoyed this section being a bit of sanctuary away from it all.

It's not the end of the world and I agree we should all be nice to each other but I just didnt think that itsbabytime was being unreasonable and people kept posting responses...

It is interesting that most people who have posted in support of JJ Mum do not and will never have to have any experience of having to have IVF (I know LouiseB and Scotch Egg have) so they can't know how sad it is to find yourself in that position trying to get your first baby after months or years of trying..

x

With all due respect it is not your choice who posts here??

What is the difference between the OP and some of the lovely ladies that already have a child but are struggling to conceive their second?

Surely we are all struggling together.

After my 3rd loss I had to watch the ladies I was with in tri 1 having healthy pregnancies when I'd lost another baby - I could have easily closed my account?? I could have let the bitterness overwhelm me. Yet I made a choice not to be that person.

You cannot help feeling sad, you cannot help feeling envious but you CAN choose how you deal with this and how you convey this to other people.

Sorry that you feel so negatively about this whole issue!

 

[EmilyB]

Jeez - my posts seem cause all sorts of trouble!

I never said it was my choice who posted in here, and yes, if i dont like the content of the posts, i should just stay away. I just thought the backlash for itsbabytime was out of line.

I do feel pretty negative about being 35 and never having been pregnant and having to have IVF to conceive - YES! I am not sure anyone would be thrilled about it!

Will butt out now, it's not THAT important..

I do agree with JJ Mum when she said we should draw a line under this now..

 

[Drummers_wife]

I've only jus seen this and skipped past many of the posts because I am gobsmacked by some of ur reactions x
JJ is welcome on any part of the forum xx
We all have difficult journeys but she is at the moment and needs our help!!
I will always invite anyone in who needs help or a friendly

Ignore the others jj I'm jus starting on clomid after 2yrs and am hoping it doesn't come to ivf but if it does then so be it and I will always ask advice xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Really saddened by some of the posts in here, the lack of support from some is heartbreaking.
The op didn't ask for opinions on who should post in this section, she asked for support in a difficult situation, what a shame she was met with hostility.
I spent some time in this section when trying for a baby (not my first) and I'd hate to think I wasn't welcome
So sad, if you've nothing nice or supportive to say, read and run
JJ's mum xx

 

[Vickyxx]

Ohhhh noooo what has happened in here!!!

Come on girls please dont fight, lttttc is a hard enough place to be as it is let alone us all turning on each other

We can all offer each other a wealth of support and the fact that we all have different stories means we can help even more!!

I never dreamt I would end up in here 2 years ago, but I couldnt ask for a better bunch of ladies to be going through this with

Now I DEMAND you all kiss and make up!!!

 

[Drummers_wife]

Ohhhh noooo what has happened in here!!!

Come on girls please dont fight, lttttc is a hard enough place to be as it is let alone us all turning on each other

We can all offer each other a wealth of support and the fact that we all have different stories means we can help even more!!

I never dreamt I would end up in here 2 years ago, but I couldnt ask for a better bunch of ladies to be going through this with

Now I DEMAND you all kiss and make up!!!

Well said Vicky xx

 

[CARNAT22]

I never said it was my choice who posted in here, and yes, if i dont like the content of the posts, i should just stay away. I just thought the backlash for itsbabytime was out of line.

Sorry but you earlier post below, kind of does say to me you have strong opinions on who should and shouldn't post here

I don't need as much support from this forum as most of you do - I don't post often and a lot of you seem to live in here

But if this section now includes anyone who is struggling to conceive baby number 5, 6, 7 and on then perhaps its not the place for me

I am sorry to bring this up Emily, but I just wanted to clarify why I said what I did!!!

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I have no idea how difficult life is for someone who is LTTC, I can imagine but I have no true idea.

I have however had my own suffering and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

As I said I could have felt bitter towards so many people (on here and in real life) but I made the choice to not go down that route. The way I saw it was being hateful was never going to get me my sticky bean?

I am no angel of course but on the whole I have tried to keep my outlook positive... I haven't had to go through the process of IVF but I have had my share of crap.

I think all of you ladies in LTTC are amazing and I have utmost respect for you all. I have always been shown kindness when I have been here to ask for your expertise.

I am sure JJ's Mum would have never posted if she thought she was offending anyone, she was simply asking for your help.

Best of luck to you Emily (I say to you in particular as I have quoted you and I don't want you to think I am picking an argument hun!!) but of course I wish all the ladies here lots of luck in chasing their dream.

xxxxxxxxxx