Have you told people you are ttc?

[positivity :)]

hello everyone

i have been ttc for 3 months now. i am very close to my mum so told her after a month that were ttc. my OH as told a few of his friends and work colleagues which has annoyed me a bit because its extra pressure.

yesterday, after 3 months i told my OH's mum yesterday and basically she is really unhappy that she wasn't told before! when i told her i thought at the time, she's going to stew over this. anyway, this morning she called my phone and said tell my OH thanks very much for telling her last - its obviously a sign of things to come!!!!!!

it really upset me! i've been so emotional this weekend and that topped it off! i thought to myself, quite frankly its my business who finds out but she is obviously really peed off. it's so stressful to ttc already without everyone around you causing more stress!

sorry for the rant but i was wondering if anyone agreed that i'm not going mad, its up to us who we tell?? i wasn't witholding it from her it just hasn't been the right time and i thought my OH would tell her.

x

 

[Binzy]

It's completely up to you! It's your decision and nobody will know when you're ready except you. I hate all this MIL shit, I have a very difficult one, I haven't told mine, but I'm sure my OH has and isn't telling me and it really pisses me off too. OH's cousin's wife is pregnant and it's all I ever hear about and its always accompanied by sideways glances and stupid faces and it's pretty tiring. I think you just need to tell her the you think it's a very personal thing and no offence is meant but you just wanted to keep it to yourself for a while. You'd have to be mad not to understand that.

 

[positivity :)]

thanks binzy! i normally get on with her ok (ish) but just know the whole family will be told about it if she knew!

poor you too...people have no tact at times do they!? xx

 

[Binzy]

My MIL has no tact whatsoever but gets away with it cos she's old. Everyone just ignores her but I'm more sensitive to it and it upsets me. If/when I get a BFP I'll have to have strong words with my OH about not telling her or the whole bloody world will know!

 

[cherelle]

me and my OH have only told a select few very close friends and my sister that we are ttc, i dont see any reason for our families to be involved .... its on my mind enough as it is without everyone constantly asking questions etc x

 

[jodied]

Hi, we didn't tell anyone that we were ttc as we didn't want the constant "are you pregnant yet?". Both me and DH are really close to our families and I tell my mum everything but we both kept quiet. They were all (pleasantly) shocked when we announced that we were expecting but I don't think any of them were upset that we hadn't told them we were ttc. It's totally up to you!!!

 

[Mummy2Adam]

Its totally up to u who u tell hun. We never told anyone the first time, so it was a nice suprise for everyone when we told them we were expecting.
And we are doing the same this time, but when it happens instead of telling everyone straight away,we are going to try and wait till my first scan and enjoy the first 12 weeks of it being just us that know x x


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[xshauna_bazx]

its upto you who you tell and when you tell! i wouldn't let any of this get you down as it will all calm down soon. I told my mam first and then after my MMC people knew anyways so they all know now.x

 

[BabyLover]

I know how you feel, we have been TTC for over 4 years and because we are both been together for 6 years and I am close to hs family, it's like every time we see them, are you going to give us a grandaiughter/grandson or a neice and nephew....we have only told my mum and his parents, that's it except for people on here lol

I suppose because it's a private thing, it's upto you both who you tell

Donna x

 

[positivity :)]

thanks very much girls, i think i'm just going to ignore it, she can deal with it herself, i have myself to worry about - it might sound selfish (and i'm really not selfish, when i told her we were in ikea as i had taken her on a SATURDAY afternoon!! - ikea on a saturday is awful!) she'll just have to get over it lol! xx

 

[star fish]

She sounds a right old boot! If it's only been three months ttc then it's hardly as if it was a major on-going secret! Good grief, you've barely had time to shag a lot yet, let alone start telling people how often! I suggest pulling away from her a bit! If you suck up she'll only take advantage to tell you what to do, but if you pull away she'll panic that she might have upset you and not be so stroppy! I promise you it works, I know it seems hard, but if you don't 'manage' her she will manage you for the rest of her life! Just give her a wide birth for a week or two.

And remember - when you do have a kid, you can limit how much she gets to see it, so you will have all the power

 

[positivity :)]

haha! thanks starfish that is exactly what i am going to do. we normally go over for dinner once a week but i'm not going to this week.

when she told me to tell my OH her silly message i just replied 'ok then' and then we said goodbye. neither he or I have contacted her since. im not playing up to this as its as though she is making it about her if that makes sense? oh well... i suppose we all have our gripes with our ML! xx

 

[star fish]

Definitely! My MIL is a big mouth, tells the whole family everyone elses business, drives me crazy. She was once telling me all about how her sisters daughter might have clamidia and she would have to push for some answers and I lost my temper a bit and asked her what it was to do with her? It created a bit of a shocking silence and my FIL had to start quickly talking about something else!

Yours is so making it about her. Proud of you for giving her cold shoulder, I know how hard it can be. I would suggest do it only long enough to make the point then drop it. You and your OH are a team she's not part of. She's probably just jealous.

 

[positivity :)]

yeah exactly, i'm sure we will be round for dinner again next week! and you are right, its about managing her! xx

 

[Rebecca27]

We havent told anyone!! feels a little bit dishonest sometimes but i dont want more pressure.

Thats why i am SO glad i found this place! xx

 

[jodied]

We havent told anyone!! feels a little bit dishonest sometimes but i dont want more pressure.

Thats why i am SO glad i found this place! xx

I couldn't agree more

 

[AislingC]

I have only told my mum i am not going to tell anyone else i dont want the 20 questions every month

Its really nice having everyone on here to talk to

 

[Princess81]

I tell people I'd like to have some progress by this time next year, but will not be letting on when we are actively ttc.
I'll have to tell my work immediately when I find out I'm pg so I can get put on light duties - so everyone will know and there's no point in trying to keep it a secret.

 

[xbeax]

We havent told anyone close to us however i think my mum may know! one of my friends has once told me she never wants a baby and i got all defensive and she asked if i was pg! lol i said no but not trying just not preventing. she looked shocked but it was a relief to tell someone. it has put pressure on us shes always asking are you pregnant yet?! x

 

[Rebecca27]

I already have my work and my friends and their mums constantly asking me if i pregnant!! Although now as we are struggling it actually really upsets me when they ask - they are being insensitive - without realising! xx