Had a moment this morning

[Lilelephant]

Been a bad morning so far, since i woke up i have felt really teary and fed up!
I think being at home on my own all day doesnt help, but i am back to work next week.
I just feel like the desire to have a baby is over taking my life, my person and who i am at the moment. I never dreamt it would be this hard, and my doc is a waste of time and doesnt seem interested in helping us!
I tested this morning as i got the line yesterday but I was right that was an evap cos this morning it couldnt be anymore negative and although i expected it, it still cut deep!
I dont feel like carrying on ttc but then the thought of us not having our own children is so over bearingly distressing that i have to carry on!
I really dont know what to do or where to go next if Doc wont help us! I dont know if there are private places you can go, but usually u need a referral even for that!
i dont think this is my month and now i am just waiting for AF tbh. this is making me a horrible depressive person and i hate it!

 

[sophiestars]

Awwww hunny
I'm really sorry you are feeling so low, and I hope that stays away from you!
Try to think positive, this will happen for you,i'm sure of it!
Don't really have any strong advice but just couldn't read and run, hopefully one of the other girls will be along soon with some better advice!
Hope you feel better soon, you are in my thoughts hun! xxxx

 

[Rachey]

Just wanted to send you lots of hugs My fingers are crossed that you get that BFP soon!! x

 

[Lilelephant]

thanks guys! atm I can't see me ever getting a bfp...well one that sticks anyway

 

[toni64539]

Oh dear. Big hugs! It's so horrible, it does take-over our lives, and there's nothing we can do to control it. But in the meantime, let's all just try and stay positive, let's think of somethings we can do to cheer ourselves up. When and if the witch does come (I can't remember who's idea it was, maybe jj's mum) pit £20 in a box and put it away for baby fund, that way it's something positive to get out of the witch coming. And don't view her as the end, view her as the begining of a new cycle, where we can try something different, she's just clearing out our bodies first, making it nice for bubba. As time goes on, these do wear a bit thin but might keep you going till doc do tests. What have they said to you Hun? X

 

[Lilelephant]

last time they said that 1 year wasnt very long!!! ffs! says the gp with her kids pictures all over the room!
and she seems to think that cos of the mc it proves i can concieve! well that's great but i dont have a f*cking baby do i!!?!?!
she also said she wants to sort out my stress/depression first, but it is mostly no concieving that is causing it!

 

[Nurse 26]

aww sorry your feeling like this! maybe just having one of the days. I can agree with you that being at home alone all the time makes you do TOO MUCHthinking.. how about going for a walk or a visit with somene to take your mind off things!

I know you have been trying a year so how come your doctor is being so unhelpful? how bout changing if you dont get anywhere with him?

I think you tested too early hun! your not out this month yet

 

[toni64539]

Yeah deffinately go see another doctor, you've been trying over a year and you've not been successful, end of. Is your Hubby at same doctors? He could go separately and ask for tests, at least get the ball rolling? X

 

[LouiseB]

Aw i'm sure we all have moments like that. You're not alone in what you are going through and many people are much worse off and to remember that might help to put it into perspective a little bit.

It doesn't stop me feeling miserable at my own situation, but stops me falling into a pit of despair

Maybe it will make you feel better to write a letter of complaint to your doctor. You can ensure that you sound rational in a letter and hit them with facts about your situation and what effect it is having on you.

Maybe you can elaborate on things that maybe you haven't spoken directly to your doctor about - like when i mentioned to my dcotor that i'd been having unprotected sex for years. That is what got me my diagnositics, not how long i had been actively ttc.

You right, sitting at home feeling helpless isn't going to make you feel any better

 

[Lilelephant]

no my OH goes to a different surgery! maybe we can try them!?
all i want is some investigation into why we cant concieve no matter what we do!
good thing is when i had all the scans with mc the consultant said my ovaries tubes and womb all look healthy so i guess i know that!
she was so nice.......if only all docs could be like that!

 

[Lilelephant]

thanks Lou,

 

[positivity :)]

toni i love that suggestion, when the witch arrives i might try and do that!!

mrsmc, i hope you feel better soon. it does feel like it will never happen but one of the good things about this forum is that you get to see ladies who have been ttc'ing for a year or so get a BFP so it keeps the faith!! xx

 

[maybe baby]

Just seen this post Hun, hope you are ok..

xx

 

[Lilelephant]

Yeah i am trying to busy myself now just made a stew and about to spring clean

 

[maybe baby]

Good idea, in fact I think I need to get off this computer and do some housework!

xx

 

[Lilelephant]

lol my take that album just arrived... perks of cousin is free cds lol

 

[SunnyGirl]

Sorry I'm late to this - just got in from work. Mrs here's a massive
Sorry you're feeling so rubbish - I think all the advice here is lovely. I like the witch clearing out the room ready for next cycle - totally love that!
I also think you tested too early - we're both 19th aren't we? Let's both try to be good and wait hehe!
I think it'll be good when you get back to work - I was off with stress all last year on and off and even tho the thought of going back was all eek and that it did actually help with things like thinking too much.
Loads of love xxx

 

[Lilelephant]

yeah i guess your brain has something else to think about at work!

i am 21st for testing.

 

[positivity :)]

take that album!? what more could you want, whack it on and let the boys cheer you up xx

 

[Lilelephant]

Ha ha I did love it!