got the post mortem results

[EllieC]

We went to bristol yesterday and got the pm results. they confirmed that he had a virus that gave him myocarditis and encephalitis, its the sort of virus in older children and adults is a cold or less -sometimes no symptoms. he was a little fighter though, he fought to the end. Whats worse is that given he was a week old when he died- for this virus it meant either i had the virus and gave it to him whilst i was pg so he was born with it or he caught it during or just after birth, i know i shouldnt but i feel so guilty. given our history with all the problems , miscarriages etc i feel so cheated that we lost our perfect beautiful little boy to a bug, I am glad that at least we had a few days with him although in the hospital when he seemed well and we were just sorting feeding out, at least i had some time and love and cuddles, i am eternally grateful for that. feeling so numb. xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

x

 

[EllieC]

thanks x i need them!!!

 

[ZMD]

nobody deserves to go hrough that xx

 

[Corrinne37]

oh my god that is soooo awful!
Do you really feel like that or are you putting on a brave face?
If you do your amazing. I would be beside myself.
My heart goes out to you.xxx

 

[Olive]

xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Lilelephant]

 

[jodied]

Massive

 

[AugustMum]

xxx

 

[titch]

 

[kanga86]

xx

 

[JoJo79]

sending you my love xx

 

[jomc]

 

[Elfs Mummy]

xx

 

[Toonlass]

don't know what to say hun, just wanted to send love & hugs xx

 

[Princess81]

xxx

 

[Drummers_wife]

 

[EllieC]

Thanks everyone I really needed all those hugs!!!!! I feel really cheated and somedays i am so angry. but i think if only had not got induced for cholestasis maybe i could have fought it for him and everything would be ok (although i had already started to dialate so who knows), on the other hand i suppose he might have died before he was born, so i have to be positive and think i dont know either way but i cannot turn back now as much as i wish i could so at least i did get to meet him and have cuddles and feed him- a few very special memories. dont get me wrong i often have days or moments when i am beside myself but i have a beautiful little girl who herself is a miricle to keep me occupied xx

 

[inky]

You're so brave xxx

 

[Spinneygirl]

xxx