got pathology results back *app now on mon*

[babydust]

and it was a wee boy
a NORMAL male to be correct

I was led to beleive that my baby had large chromosome problems, as well as heart defect and cysic hygroma, i was given no hope of the baby suviving and so to be kind to the baby i had a termination, which was the most difficult and soul destroying thing i have ever done. but now i am so in shock that the chromosomes were normal. I am so angry with the consultant as at the time when they found the cystic hygroma and the heart defect on the scan it didnt even enter my head to have a termination but after speeking to the consultant she went on about possible syndroms, downs, edwards, turners and then asked me what i wanted to do and that she would have no problems in doing a d&c for me even though i was 13 weeks but i had to decide that day b4 it was too late to have one, so i trusted her and signed the concent form, i thought to myself she wouldnt have mentioned a termination if she didnt think it was the right thing, but on the way out i asked her if she thought i was doing the right thing and she said yes she didnt think the baby would survive and it looks like massive chromosome problems.
I am sorry for going on a bit here but i really had to get all this out, none of my questions can be answered till i see her in six weeks time.

 

[Steelgoddess]

THATS AWFUL!!!!
im so sorry honey!

xx

 

[lisa&alex]

omg!! claire im so sorry!!

please dont blame urself tho!! please.. if we all had hind sight theres loads of things we wouldnt regret, but at the time it was the best choice with the knowledge that you had..look a tthis in time with the idea of.. we had one normal baby.. the chances of having the next without any problems is better now..

theres probably nothing any of us can say to help you feel better.. just know that our thoughts are with you xx dont give up..

 

[jenna]

so sorry hun

Same as above, you thought at the time it was for the best

 

[NIE]

I'm really sorry honey. 6 weeks seems to be such a long time to wait, can they not see you any sooner. xxx

 

[babydust]

thanks
i called the consultants secretary and she said that they have no sooner appointments and i told her that i need to see her today or tomorrow as i have just had my results back and they were not what i expected or led to beleive. I told her that i need to talk with her as i am considering taking legal advice.im not going to go down that road at all but i thought it might make her see me.
I am all over the place just now, dh came home and said he thinks that they baby may still not have survived as alough it didnt have chromosome problem it still had heart problems which was causing a build up of fluid around its neck, but i really need to talk to the consultant before i destroy myself with this, we have 2 little girls to we really wanted a boy.

 

[Moomum]

Aww bless you. I'm so sorry.

I really don't know what to say

 

[katyk]

omg you need her to explain about the heart problems and what they would have meant. I can imagine what it is like to see that he had nothing chromosomally wrong.

I hope she explains the problems your baby had and puts your mind at rest a little.

 

[mandspice]

Bl*ody hell, I can't believe that - I was gonna say, have you considered taking advice / legal action - it's amazing how we rely on and trust people's opinions - we have to take their word for it as they're the experts.

The problem is that when you see the consultant they will still justify the decision, saying the baby would not have survived anyway. And they may be right but you'll probably never know. I'm so sorry, I hope you can get an appointment asapxxx

 

[miffy]

So, so sorry to hear that you are going through this. I really don't know what to say apart from that you did the only thing you could do at the time, which was make the right decision based on the information presented to you.

You do really need an explanation though - keep phoning them until they give you an earlier appt - there must be cancellations - you deserve to have an explanation now rather than in 6 weeks time. Only then will you be able to start to move on.

I'm really sorry and hope that you get the response you need.

Take care

 

[Babylicious]

Oh hunny I am so sorry

The consultant wants striking off

 

[katyk]

I really do hope that they wouldn't get something like that wrong. But I felt the same about my little bean, that they might have made a mistake, and the thought was disturbing. But my boyf said they wouldn't do that.

I hope your mind is given more closure over this soon and hope your worries are unfounded (though I would be have exactly the same feelings.)

Of course we can't trust them 100% not to make mistakes, but touch wood they wouldn't make ones like this and would be very catios, because they know people would sue their bums off if they got it wrong

 

[babydust]

i feel soo guilty for what i have did, and i dont know if i should pursue making a complaint or not, i just cant get the words 'normal male' out my head. This has made me feel worse than i ever did before i keep thinking back and i think the major reason for me terminating was that the baby wouldnt have had any quality of life with a big chromosome abnormality. but with that out of the equasion i dont know what life it would have had and if it would have survived at all
I am a nurse myself and have looked after alot of children with all different disorders and chromosome problems and i just thought i couldnt bring a child into this world knowing it was going to have to fight and sruggle all the way so yes i made the right decision with the information i had at the time, but now knowing the actual facts now i think it was the very wrong decision that im going to have to live with for the rest of my life.
Sorry i just need to blow off again thanks for listening

 

[katyk]

I felt that my baby might be normal too as though they saw no heartbeat, he was the perfect size for his age and his mini-start of a spine was there etc (at 8 weeks.

Its a very unnerving feeling.

But they did say that your babys heart was poorly too it wasn't just a possible chromaosome abnormality, anyway claire you did the best you could for him, and you are a brill mum

 

[Kimberly]

I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you.

 

[kiki]

I'm so sorry!! Please take care of yourself

 

[babydust]

thanks for the support
Dh and i have had a talk tonight and i cant see through the tears to type, i know men are crap at emotions but now i seem to be more upset that it was a boy than anything else, i didnt know i wanted a boy so much. We have looked cystic hygromas up again on the net and the mortality rate is not good so i think i have made the right decision, it was 80-90% mortality, which doesnt give much chance of survival, Dh thinks we have still made the right decision for us the baby and our two daughters. Dh is going to call the consultant tomorrow and ask if she can see us asap, if he cant get her on the phone he is going to go to the hospital and sit outside her door, i now feel bad for him as i didnt realise he was hurting as much as me, there doesnt seem to be an end to this pain.

 

[Happybunny]

Claire, you have been through the most terrible ordeal . You have nothing to feel bad about. I think you are being very calm and doing the right thing to get an earlier explanation. I would be beating her door down too. I can't belive they could make such a mistake, it is terribly heartbreaking. I am thinking of you and your family, you really have had such a sad few weeks.

 

[katyk]

I would be nagging and probably going down there too.

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

OMG hun that is awful
im so sorry