Goodbye little Leo

[Natalilly1288]

Oh sweetheart my heart breaks for you I can't imagine how you feel big hugs xxxxx

 

[nbrintz]

Oh I'm so sorry Hun gutted for u xxx

 

[gemloulau]

Thank you everyone for your lovely messages.

Today is a better day, I've been able to talk about him and look at his photos without dissolving into a complete mess of tears today. The tears are still coming but not constant crying.

I feel a bit like a zombie today, just kind of moving around doing stuff but not really with it all. I'm so empty, nothing feels real.

The knowledge that some of you have been where I am and have come through it is the only thing really keeping me going at the moment.

Pointless post really just feel like I need to talk to someone that's not involved but understands.

Hope you are all having good days wherever you are on your journeys

Xx

 

[Natalilly1288]

Just take one day at a time sweetheart that's all you can do I no we don't really know each other in this forum but u have been in my thoughts and I really do feel for you if u ever want any1 to talk to I am here I've not lost a baby at that far gone so I no how it felt to have 2 mc both around 6 weeks but can't imagine how you must be feeling xxxxxxx

 

[Lilmisshopeful]

I'm glad your feeling a bit better today just take one day at a time. I found after about 2 weeks I looked at photos and smiled instead of cries. I know Charlie has gone but was here if you get me. I also find instead of the tears flooding now they come slower and not so often. I do still feel like a zombie tho and have days where I convince myself it's a bad dream and I will wake up soon. But please don't ever think you posts are pointless cos they are not. They mean a lot to you and a lot to us as it means we can be of support to you in the difficult time. Hugs to you xxx

 

[gemloulau]

I find you so inspiring Lilmisshopeful - you've been through so much heartache yourself but you still have the strength to help people like me. It really does mean a lot.

I'm amazed at how many strong women are on this forum, so many sad stories and grief but everyone is so willing to put their pain aside to help someone.

Thank you all xx

 

[Lilmisshopeful]

I find you so inspiring Lilmisshopeful - you've been through so much heartache yourself but you still have the strength to help people like me. It really does mean a lot.

I'm amazed at how many strong women are on this forum, so many sad stories and grief but everyone is so willing to put their pain aside to help someone.

Thank you all xx

Wow I don't know what to say to that I'm just plain old me. The heartache I've suffered is what makes me be able to be there. I know how alone you can feel even with the most supportive oh. I know the difference it can make to have someone understand how you feel because they know. And if I can help anyone feel just an ounce better then I will do everything I can to do so. It's a pain that I wish no one ever had to feel. I am just so pleased that I have helped even if only the tiniest amount xxx

 

[CARNAT22]

It breaks my heart to hear another woman have a loss, but late losses particularly upset me.

I am sad anyone has to go through it, but I am also glad that there is support out there for you poor ladies.

I think you are all wonderful and I hope you one day get your rainbow baby

xxxxxxx

 

[LD1978]

I'm so sorry you've had to go through this - how heartbreaking! I just want to echo what the ladies have said and we are all here for you. I have no experience so can't offer advice but my thoughts are with you x

 

[cornishfairy]

So sorry, this must be absolutely heart wrenching for you, I can't even begin to imagine. When I see awful news like this on here I just feel sick, I wish I could wrap my arms around every single lady here and protect everyone from this pain and hurt. No-one deserves to go through this. Rest in peace baby Leo and take it one day at a time. No-one will expect anything of you, take time to grieve and with time the pain will ease, never go away, but ease enough for you to look forward again. Big hugs. Xxxxxx

 

[Becky1]

So so sorry for your loss xxx

 

[gemloulau]

It's a week today that my little Angel was born. It feels like its been the longest week in the world.

I've been so unwell following the surgery afterwards, I'm dosed up on so many anti-biotics, daily injections and god knows what else that I don't feel like I can process things emotionally yet because my body is exhausted.

This is so hard.

Xx

 

[bbee]

Keep strong hun, we're all here for you!
If you ever need anything you know where I am , sending lots of hugs xxx

 

[Daley]

Thinking of you Hun xxx

 

[3lilmonsters]

Thanks Heather

I've been meaning to message you. I've just been letting the tears come, I had cuddles before they took him away but my husband didn't want to see him. He hasn't cried in front of me, he just holds me when I'm upset. I know he is hurting too, I can see it in his eyes but he won't shoe it because he doesn't want to upset me.

The hospital staff were amazing, they've given me lots of photos, handprints and footprints and a little box filled with poems and a little teddy bear. My husband didn't want to see any of that either. I hope he will one day, I feel like I have to keep the memory of Leo hidden away and it's not fair.

Did it take a long time for the hurt to stop?
Xx

Aww darling I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my son in April 2006 at 25w its the most souls shattering experience I have ever been through. My hubby was the same as yours he didn't see Samuel or say goodbye in anyway nor did he cry in front of me he just dealt with it in his way. I was the opposite I was up the hospital every day until they took him. I have all momentos from pics to hand and footprints and even now when I look at them my heart skips a beat and I get an awful tug in my soul. My advice is to let it all out you worry about you hunnie as harsh as it sounds you had the closest bond of all and need the most time to heal, the pain never goes away but it gets easier to cope, counselling was a great tool for me to vent my sadness and pain and anger about everything even the way my hubby handled it. I wish you and your husband all the best in the world I'm here if you need to talk take care xxxx

 

[gemloulau]

Thank you 3lilmonsters.

I'm letting tears flow when they come, I just let it go. I can't imagine ever feeling like a person again instead of the empty shell of a person I feel like I am now.

I've been visited daily by midwifes checking on me because of the surgery and on Monday they sent a grief counsellor round - talking really helped me see that the range of motions I'm having are normal.

I know my husband and I will get through it but it feels like such a long road ahead.

We've been given the date for the cremation now too. I overheard my husband saying to his mum that he knows he'll break down then as it will be too much

Xx

 

[3lilmonsters]

My hubby did when he carried our sons coffin. You will come out the otherside one day and a better person like I did you will never feel 100% whole again. im happy and make do with the 90% I'm at and although I never got to see the kind of child my baby would grow into I cherish all the moments and kicks I had and feel blessed for even having him my life for them 25 weeks xxxx

 

[gemloulau]

Nothing much to say, just hate to see Leo's name moving further and further down the screen, it makes me feel like he's being forgotten.

Sleep well me little angel mummy loves you so so much, we'll be together one day I promise xx

 

[Positive37]

He won't be forgotten sweetheart. ......sending u all my love and healing xxxxx

 

[Daley]

Our Angels are never forgotten Hun xxx