Getting it all wrong

[Nic36]

It really hit me last night that i am doing such a rubbish job at being a mum. Everything I hoped and thought would be in place by now isn't and I don't know how to get things on track.

My LO is a beautiful, happy baby but at 11 weeks she still only sleeps from 10pm til 3am onaverge - so 5 hrs on average. Her feeding is all over the place... My plans to EBF never succeeded and now she is EFF. She will rarely take more than 2 or 3 oz per feed and needs to feed very frequently. I am trying hard to feed no more often than every two hours,but it is so hard. She will not go down for naps even though she is tired. I am currently sat holding her as it is the only way she will sleep, so I can't get any of my chores done. I feel trapped in my house because she needs to feed so frequently. I rarely go out anymore and feel so rubbish. Andnow she has started playing at feeding time by squealing and pushing the bottle out with her Tongue. I am finding it all so stressful

I feel trapped, isolated, and a failure. . At nearly three months I should have these things sorted by now.

 

[Princess81]

Don't put such pressure on yourself to be in a routine Hun! There's no rule book, you and your baby are still learning about each other. You're a great mum so don't get yourself down. Think balls to the house work and enjoy cuddles with your little one. A routine will develop in time, just try to enjoy it x

 

[HanSam]

Ah nic you are not a failure at all!! Look what you have produced a beautiful happy daughter.

All babies fall into eating/sleeping routines in their own time. Do you have a good support network around you. Try and get along to a baby group so you don't feel isolated.

Also have you taken Emily to an osteopath at all? I have heard great things about these and how they have helped baby sleep longer at night and go longer between feeds x

 

[Nurse 26]

dont be so hard on yourself, your doing a fab job its easy to feel trapped and isolated, its such a hard job, i think lots of us on here are having trouble with babies sleeping its really hard, shes only 11 weeks there PLENTY of time for her to settle down into a routine. xx

 

[LoopyLouize]

Wss!

I had H into a routine for well over 5 weeks and this week she decided she no longer wants to be in this routine and has now decided to refuse bottles and sleep! X

 

[BevG]

Alyssa was being exactly like that last week, it was teething i think, your a perfect mum if your baby is happy as thats all we can strive for. if she only takes 3 oz then so be it, if she eats every 2 hrs then thats ok too. the naps and sleep will come right eventually im sure. were having a growth spurt this week so feeding n sleeping lots for a change. they change and grow so quickly that none of their maybe her bottle is a bit warmer or cooler than she likes, Lyssa pushes hers out if its a bit too warm even tho its not too hot to drink.

 

[wifeywifey]

Hun 3 months is still very young and think your putting too much pressure on urself. Im sure ur an amazing mum. Give urself a break, there is no manuals for being a mum.

Sent from my E15i using Tapatalk

 

[pinkyprincess]

Right the sleeping, Tyler is 4 months old and is up 4-5 times a night. I actually read the other day that only 50% of babies under 6 months sleep through. The problem is people are very vocal (or it feels like it!) when their babies sleep through, mix that with sleep deprivation and it's a disaster! I am the night feed queen now lol! And I KNOW I am a good mum to my boy and you are too, don't let anyone make you think otherwise! If you need to rant about no sleep feel free to PM me! I've been there, done that, still doing it!

 

[Roo3]

You're not doing a bad job him. My lo still had a night feed until he was about 7 months, and his sleeping through the night is hit and miss. Some babies are little and often feeders when others have a lot in one go and go longer between feeds. Enjoy the cuddles whilst your lo wants them. My lo doesn't want cuddles anymore, he just wants to destroy the house. Try and get out for a walk a day inbetween feeds. The fresh air will do you the world of good and your lo may nap a bit better in the day. Are there any groups you can go to. These always tire my lo out so he naps better after he's been to a group. Chin up, your lo will start sleeping better one day, then you'll be wishing they were awake as you'll miss them!!

 

[BevG]

Alyssa sleeps really well but still wakes up at 3am from 11pm, 4 or 5 hours is really good at this age

 

[Nic36]

Thanks everyone... I know so many of us here have different problems with or LOs - I guess none of them conform to the 'norm'. I think I am just so tired everything is starting to get on top of me! I don't really have a support network. Have been to a group twice but it was very clicky, so didn't go anymore. Will try and muster up the courage to go next week. Thanks everyone! X

 

[Nic36]

Also have you taken Emily to an osteopath at all? I have heard great things about these and how they have helped baby sleep longer at night and go longer between feeds x

Hadn't heard about osteopaths - will look into that. Thanks!

 

[HanSam]

Also have you taken Emily to an osteopath at all? I have heard great things about these and how they have helped baby sleep longer at night and go longer between feeds x

Hadn't heard about osteopaths - will look into that. Thanks!

Yes that maybe worth a shot but as many of the other girls say alot of babies don't fall into routines or sleep through this early. But if you have a good osteo in your area maybe worth a shot!

Chin up and keep smiling x

 

[Dustbunny]

The fact that you care so much proves you are not a failure.

Give yourself a break and stop putting so much pressure on yourself and you'll find you enjoy things so much more.

If the housework doesn't get done it'll be there for another day. If LO likes to nap on you then take it as an oppurtunity to watch a bit of tv or do a crossword. Some babies don't eat a lot as long as they gain weight nothing to worry about

Do you have a park nearby? The fresh air would do you both wonders plus lots of babies enjoy being fed outside so you may find it easier to feed.

You really are doing a wonderful job

 

[BevG]

make DH do one night or one morning so you can get some sleep hun, it makes all the difference. i gave alyssa to my oh last night at 12.30 cos she wouldnt settle and was trying to eat my arm and i was knackered. he took her and i fell asleep. cue me being woken at 2am by her, he had took her and she fell asleep so he put her back down in her cot and went back to his game downstairs lol. cue me having to go down and get her bottle as she was trying to eat my arm again. he had just let her fall asleep without even giving her any milk and then put her down in the room with me instead oof just keeping her down with him so i could sleep..... and he gets to sleep in til 2pm most days while i get up with her at 7am most days..i could have killed him lol but he said she was out cold when he left her and hes just a dumb man, i really do just keep in mind that they are simple creatures and its not so annoying. sleep deprivation is the worst thing and really can make you depressed hun so make sure to get some when you really need it and try to go out as much as you can, Alyssa really liked bookstart group last week even tho she was whiney and teething. is there any chance your lo is teething a bit too? teething powders helped with the bottle taking problem for me

 

[My1stBaby]

Hey nic you sound exactly the same as me at the moment, I literally feel all of that but my LO is only 7 weeks. Sleep deprivation is seriously making me depressed and its making me so unhappy that I feel like a failure with Max cause I can't be happy. Trying to find a group to go to but can't do mornings as I never get out the house in time plus I'm sharing a car so can't actually get out very often. I did go for a walk yesterday though with Max and even though he screamed the whole tme it was really nice to be out walking. What part of hertfordshire are you from? PM me if you wanna chat I really do know how you feel!! Xxxx

 

[Olive]

Brody is 4 months and doesn't sleep thru. You're not a failure xx


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[Mrs. KM]

You're not a failure at all! The fact that you care so much shows how great you are. I think we just have ideas of how babies will be before they are born, and then reality is different. I had all these plans! My baby will always be put down to sleep, she will be calm and I will go out to get groceries etc all the time. K had other plans! She will only sleep for naps if I am wearing her, she wakes 2-3 times a night and eats every 2 hours during the day, and is such a screamer that I am scared to take her in public. You just can't control what your baby wants. You are doing great! Xx

 

[littlemiss83]

5 hours is very good for that age. Your doing brilliantly. Its so so difficult having an LO , and i'm sure all mummies will say its harder than they thought. Unfortunately routines go out the window, its very hard to get a routine until around 3/4 months. You LO will eventually sleep thro the night, some babies sttn in the first few weeks, some dont do it til around 6 months & some a bit later so try not to worry. Also, it sounds like your LO is getting used to sleeping in your arms, therefore its strange to go into own cot. Once your LO gets more used to sleeping in cot it will be fine. Try & let LO actually fall asleep in the cot


xxxxxxxx

 

[leannesxb]

Hey nic you sound exactly the same as me at the moment, I literally feel all of that but my LO is only 7 weeks. Sleep deprivation is seriously making me depressed and its making me so unhappy that I feel like a failure with Max cause I can't be happy. Trying to find a group to go to but can't do mornings as I never get out the house in time plus I'm sharing a car so can't actually get out very often. I did go for a walk yesterday though with Max and even though he screamed the whole tme it was really nice to be out walking. What part of hertfordshire are you from? PM me if you wanna chat I really do know how you feel!! Xxxx

I am exactly the same. I feel so sad that there is so many of us that have felt this way at a time which should have been so happy. Hugs to us all. x