Getting it all wrong

[tillzy69]

Being a mummy is hard work! And babys have minds of their own and will do what they want rather than what we want them to do. Your a wonderful mum and doing the best you can for your LO. If things arent going to plan don't be hard on yourself. The whole experience is a learning process and you can only do so much. Don't put yourself down your doing a great job!

 

[hellywelly]

Don't feel like a failure! I had a bad few days (you might have seen my post on here!) and was feeling exactly the same as you. Evie still wakes every three hours through the night and really resists napping in the day unless she is lying on me, in her swingy chair or being pushed in her pram. She used to zonk out for 2 hours at a time but now I'm lucky if I get 30 mins. To make matters worse I decided to read one of those stupid baby books that tell me baby should be in this fab routine by now and do x y and z at certain times. Well, today I feel 100% better cause I've thrown that book in the bin!!!!
I've decided that there are no rules for bringing up my baby, so I'll make them up! I don't mind having a different routine everyday as long as she and I are both happy. I am sticking to bath bottle bed night time routine as it does settle her, but it doesn't mean she wakes up any less, she just settles well between feeds. This is the hardest job in the world and it will only get harder if you beat yourself up about it. I did that when I couldn't breastfeed and now I realise Evie couldn't care less and it's my problem not hers! I think there's loads of pressure to do things a particular way with a baby and I've decided they can all bugger off cause I'm doing it my way!!

 

[katie_lou]

Hun you are doing an amazing job being a mummy is the hardest job in the world , I knew when I was pregnant it would be hard looking after a baby but to be honest it was a Hugh shock for me . I feel like you in some ways as ruby Harley ever slept was over tired and fed non stop ( I also FF feed ) the only way I can get her asleep is by rocking her or taking her for a walk. I changed Ruby's milk to hungry baby milk and she fell into a routine on her own of feeding every 3 hours before then she would want feeding every 1 and a half hours to 2 . Am not saying the hungry baby milk will work for you but it did for me and I haven't looked back since I changed her milk . Xxxx

 

[Bee7]

You're not a failure hun and you're certainly not the only new mum to feel this way. The whole routine thing can be a nightmare. I'm currently trying to get Jack into a routine but it's so difficult because his feeding is all over the place. My OH isn't helping, he just seems to want to argue with everything i do and gets pissed off with Jack crying.

I know you're reluctant to go out cos of feeds etc, but even if you went for a little walk i'm sure you'd feel loads better. I got into the habit of staying in constantly because it seemed like so much effort to get us both ready and get him out. But one day i just scraped my hair back, threw some joggers out and took him for a walk in the sun. I looked like crap but i felt so much better for it.

I'm also having the problem of him not sleeping unless he's on my chest which means i can't get anything done through the days. It's very frustrating but i'm sure it'll iron itself out in time.

Believe me, you're not alone and it won't always be like this xx

 

[Nic36]

You're not a failure at all! The fact that you care so much shows how great you are. I think we just have ideas of how babies will be before they are born, and then reality is different. I had all these plans! My baby will always be put down to sleep, she will be calm and I will go out to get groceries etc all the time. K had other plans! She will only sleep for naps if I am wearing her, she wakes 2-3 times a night and eats every 2 hours during the day, and is such a screamer that I am scared to take her in public. You just can't control what your baby wants. You are doing great! Xx

We sound like we have the same baby! Apart from the fact Emily refuses to go in the sling or carrier. She is such an inquisitive little thing she wants to see everything that is going on, so screams when I put her in the carrier. I hope when she can face outwards in a few months she might like it more. I still haven't braved a trip to the supermarket with Emily,even though I keep saying I will.

 

[Nic36]

Hey nic you sound exactly the same as me at the moment, I literally feel all of that but my LO is only 7 weeks. Sleep deprivation is seriously making me depressed and its making me so unhappy that I feel like a failure with Max cause I can't be happy. Trying to find a group to go to but can't do mornings as I never get out the house in time plus I'm sharing a car so can't actually get out very often. I did go for a walk yesterday though with Max and even though he screamed the whole tme it was really nice to be out walking. What part of hertfordshire are you from? PM me if you wanna chat I really do know how you feel!! Xxxx

Awww... Really sorry to hear you are feeling as rubbish as I am. . It's a great idea to get put for a little every day - I popped out for half an hour between the heavy showers and it did make me feel better for a bit. Are you in Herts too...? I'm in Hemel. X

 

[Nic36]

Don't feel like a failure! I had a bad few days (you might have seen my post on here!) and was feeling exactly the same as you. Evie still wakes every three hours through the night and really resists napping in the day unless she is lying on me, in her swingy chair or being pushed in her pram. She used to zonk out for 2 hours at a time but now I'm lucky if I get 30 mins. To make matters worse I decided to read one of those stupid baby books that tell me baby should be in this fab routine by now and do x y and z at certain times. Well, today I feel 100% better cause I've thrown that book in the bin!!!!
I've decided that there are no rules for bringing up my baby, so I'll make them up! I don't mind having a different routine everyday as long as she and I are both happy. I am sticking to bath bottle bed night time routine as it does settle her, but it doesn't mean she wakes up any less, she just settles well between feeds. This is the hardest job in the world and it will only get harder if you beat yourself up about it. I did that when I couldn't breastfeed and now I realise Evie couldn't care less and it's my problem not hers! I think there's loads of pressure to do things a particular way with a baby and I've decided they can all bugger off cause I'm doing it my way!!

That's so true! I have been reading al this stuff about what a three month old baby 'should' be doing... And we're not doing any of it... Stresses me lots! Think I should chill out a little more and just go with the flow!

 

[pinkyprincess]

Hey nic you sound exactly the same as me at the moment, I literally feel all of that but my LO is only 7 weeks. Sleep deprivation is seriously making me depressed and its making me so unhappy that I feel like a failure with Max cause I can't be happy. Trying to find a group to go to but can't do mornings as I never get out the house in time plus I'm sharing a car so can't actually get out very often. I did go for a walk yesterday though with Max and even though he screamed the whole tme it was really nice to be out walking. What part of hertfordshire are you from? PM me if you wanna chat I really do know how you feel!! Xxxx

Awww... Really sorry to hear you are feeling as rubbish as I am. . It's a great idea to get put for a little every day - I popped out for half an hour between the heavy showers and it did make me feel better for a bit. Are you in Herts too...? I'm in Hemel. X

I think that's near my mums house. We're going to house sit for a week or so during the Olympics so we could always go for coffee if you like?

 

[Nic36]

Hey nic you sound exactly the same as me at the moment, I literally feel all of that but my LO is only 7 weeks. Sleep deprivation is seriously making me depressed and its making me so unhappy that I feel like a failure with Max cause I can't be happy. Trying to find a group to go to but can't do mornings as I never get out the house in time plus I'm sharing a car so can't actually get out very often. I did go for a walk yesterday though with Max and even though he screamed the whole tme it was really nice to be out walking. What part of hertfordshire are you from? PM me if you wanna chat I really do know how you feel!! Xxxx

Awww... Really sorry to hear you are feeling as rubbish as I am. . It's a great idea to get put for a little every day - I popped out for half an hour between the heavy showers and it did make me feel better for a bit. Are you in Herts too...? I'm in Hemel. X

I think that's near my mums house. We're going to house sit for a week or so during the Olympics so we could always go for coffee if you like?

. That'd be lovely!