Gender scan Monday - just thrown up!!!

[cosmicgirl]

We've put the tortoise on hold at the moment, I've just not got the time to put in the effort it deserves at the mo. I'm not one to get pets that I can't give 100% to, so many in the summer.
We've got a busy Christmas at our house. There's me, oh, my 5 boys, my mum and dad and my sister with her husband and her two kids coming for dinner! Yes, slightly manic but wonderful x

 

[Spammy]

Wow Cos you must be superwoman!

 

[cosmicgirl]

Nah, just mad lol x

 

[Nicole mummy]

Hi Cosmicgirl I'm just read your post about wanting a daughter, I'm in the same boat with my gender scan Friday.
I have 3 boys and a step son and would do anything for a girl. I did all this with baby boy number 3 saying he was my last and had a surprise pregnancy and praying for a girl! I'm hoping it isn't going to hit me too hard if he is a boy, I know I will be a little upset but not sure how it will hit me now.
2 sleeps!!!! xx

 

[JJ Mum]

Hi Cosmic, just re-reading some of this thread again,I hadn't actually seen your post about suddenly having bad news and then it making you realise or remind yourself of the brilliant position you were in and , lovely to read that now...

Go on..... ivf is sooo not half as scary as I thought it would be , it sadley didn't work for me, does seem to be a lottery on bfps , not sure theres a formula for sucess , just random luck, I would say get your saving tin out and start collecting pounds while you think on it.... XX

 

[Emma.b]

I am sooo glad i found this thread!!

I am having my gender scan on Friday. And for the past 5 weeks i have been referring to baby as a she, just really to wind my fella up as he wanted another boy. Last night i had a dream that we found out i was having a boy and i had a mental break down in the clinic, shouting about 'its not fair' and i 'wanted a girl'. I woke up thinking, crap i really really want a girl. I have a boy already who's now 9 years, and it took us over 2 and half years to conceive this time after loads of tests and finally clomid. So i'd love to have a girl now to complete my family, just in case i don't get the chance to try again. And if i'm blessed with more than they will be a happy addition.

But i'm terrified that i'm gonna be/show disappointment at the scan. Up until this dream i didn't i'd be bothered what i had.

x x x

 

[cosmicgirl]

Hi Cosmicgirl I'm just read your post about wanting a daughter, I'm in the same boat with my gender scan Friday.
I have 3 boys and a step son and would do anything for a girl. I did all this with baby boy number 3 saying he was my last and had a surprise pregnancy and praying for a girl! I'm hoping it isn't going to hit me too hard if he is a boy, I know I will be a little upset but not sure how it will hit me now.
2 sleeps!!!! xx

Fx for you hun, think pink! xxx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Hi Cosmic, just re-reading some of this thread again,I hadn't actually seen your post about suddenly having bad news and then it making you realise or remind yourself of the brilliant position you were in and , lovely to read that now...

Go on..... ivf is sooo not half as scary as I thought it would be , it sadley didn't work for me, does seem to be a lottery on bfps , not sure theres a formula for sucess , just random luck, I would say get your saving tin out and start collecting pounds while you think on it.... XX

Thanks hun
I'd have to go to Cyprus for the treatment so I'm deffo going to start saving now.
If nothing else, I'll get a nice holiday out of it xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

I am sooo glad i found this thread!!

I am having my gender scan on Friday. And for the past 5 weeks i have been referring to baby as a she, just really to wind my fella up as he wanted another boy. Last night i had a dream that we found out i was having a boy and i had a mental break down in the clinic, shouting about 'its not fair' and i 'wanted a girl'. I woke up thinking, crap i really really want a girl. I have a boy already who's now 9 years, and it took us over 2 and half years to conceive this time after loads of tests and finally clomid. So i'd love to have a girl now to complete my family, just in case i don't get the chance to try again. And if i'm blessed with more than they will be a happy addition.

But i'm terrified that i'm gonna be/show disappointment at the scan. Up until this dream i didn't i'd be bothered what i had.

x x x

We went for a private scan to find out gender.
I remember it like it was yesterday. It was all posh with massive flat screen TV's and leather couches.
The lady took us in, I immediately saw the "goods" but she seemed to continue looking, like she hasn't seen it.
I thought I must have been mistaken.
My stomach sank, I just knew it.
She then confirmed it was a boy and I couldn't help it, the tears began to flow, I was a blubbering wreck.
She left the room and came back with tissues. I didn't care what it looked like to her, my heart was as sad.
We then had to go out into the main reception to chose a picture.
People were staring, like I must have had some horrific news.
We drive home in silence and I went straight to bed, I was so upset.
I saw a fab counsellor and gradually the cloud lifted.
Not long after this there was an awful tragedy and from that day on my whole outlook changed.
Don't get me wrong, I desire a little girl with every fibre in my body but I know it's not the be all and end all.

Thanks to everyone who reads my thread, hopefully you can see that gender disappointment happens, to normal people and is nothing to be ashamed of xxxx

 

[TiffanyJaynexo]

Gender disappointment is indeed very real Cos! I would have loved a boy this time just to have one of each but I think I knew deep down it was another girl, which she is. I'm not sure we'd have another one because I'd bet on it being another girl, but I would like a son in a few years time, not any time soon though! Would you be able to get the gender selection treatment? Before we had the scan I read online that it's not only the male sperm that decides the gender, it can also be if the ladies vagingo is alkaline or acidic? Not sure if I got that right but it did make me think. My boss has renamed me the 'girl making machine' Congrats on your little man anyway, hope you all have a fab Christmas xxx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Thanks hun
The PGD offered abroad sorts the boy from the girl sperm and the sperm of your desired gender is then put inside you to hopefully meet the egg.
You can also monitor you ph, swaying websites talk about this in detail.
I've got a lot to think about and a lot of saving to do, it's not cheap and there's no definite that it would work

Congrats on your gorgeous girl bean x

 

[Nicole mummy]

I had my gender scan today and its another BOY! My 4th son 5th including my step son.
At first I managed to contain myself but since I've been home I have done nothing but sob! I'm totally heart broken.
The way people treat you makes things twice as hard, telling them yes baby number 4 is yet another boy I really feel like I'm breaking the news I have a terminal illness. I get the maybe you can try àgain when the baby is born with the sympathetic head till and pat on the back. People are making me feel ashamed to share the news of the scan and it's very difficult and emotion for me anyway because I was desperate for the baby to be a girl and I think deep down I thought he was. I'm gutted and feel stupid and ashamed of feeling this way. I'm not sure how long I'm going to keep on feeling this way but I hope it's not all the way through my pregnancy now. I tried going out for baby clothes for him but I'm just not interested or maybe not ready yet. I hope I start coping better soon because I'm feeling very depressed and alone. X

 

[cosmicgirl]

I felt just like you hun
Whenever I shared my news people felt so sad for me and "ah never mind eh" and that was just because they knew how much it meant to me and knew that was (supposedly) my last chance.
You will be sad, upset, disappointed and feel hard done by - I did. But I promise you that once you see his little face, these feelings will fade and you will feel a whole new set of emotions.
You'll still yearn for a little girl, that never goes away but you'll be over joyed and so in love.
My little man is my world, all my kids are. Sometimes I just watch him sleeping, for hours and hours. I can't take my eyes off him. I love him so much it brings tears to my eyes.
Did you think I'd feel this way reading back in my thread?
That's the thing about gender disappointment. I bet many ladies where thinking "what a bitch, she should love her baby anyway". I've always loved him and always will, doesn't mean I wasn't so so disappointed about the little girl I was so sure I would have.
And you'll feel this too, I'm certain of that.
If you asked me now if I would swap him for a little girl, not on your life, I'd die for him. Would I love a little girl? Definitely, and there is still a pink piece of my puzzle missing.
I think what effected me most this time was knowing that this really should be my last chance for a little girl and how unfair I felt it was. It's not like I've had one boy and thrown my dummy out of the pram - 5 boys!!! When is it my turn????
That's how I felt at the time.
I still long for my little princess but as long as my kids are happy and healthy, at this moment all I feel is love xxxx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Oh and you aren't alone, I'm always here for a chat xx

 

[JJ Mum]

Cosmic, wow that pdg sounds much nicer than ivf actually, and more normal if you know what I mean... I had no idea it was done like that.... brilliant, can't wait till you can try that for your princess then x

 

[JJ Mum]

Nicole Mummy - Congrats on healthy scan of baby, i'm sorry that it wasn't the gender you wished and hoped for, it's really not something to feel ashamed about. I think Cosmic said it a long while back on this thread, something like - it's not the gender of your baby you are sad about, they are your precious baby, but the loss of the gender you wished for. XX

 

[cosmicgirl]

Bumped for those wanting insight into gender disappointment x

 

[lauralou]

As much as I can understand wanting a girl, I must admit I was a bit shocked to read this? Was baby healthy? Think that should really be the important factor x

Sorry if that sounds harsh but people go through losses and have children with various disabilities and I think reading this might upset a few? Sorry if I've missed something in this thread, was a few pages to read.


Xx

 

[Jaxx01]

That is a bit harsh LauraLou. gender disappointment is a very real thing. The way I understand it is its not about thinking any less of the baby you've got more a mourning feeling for the girl Cos had always wanted! I don't think any of us would know the true feeling until we had 5 boys?

 

[lauralou]

I totally understand wanting a certain gender and after 4 boys I know even I would be dreaming of a girl. But in one post it just said, it's a boy, I'm gutted. And I just thought it was a bit of a strong comment to make?
After one boy I was hoping for a girl so I get the whole "I really hope this is a..." feeling, but I was just shocked when I read that, and I know a couple of people who have really struggled for one child, to have 5 would be a dream for them, with gender being the least important factor in it all.
I'm not meaning to sound cruel as I can understand a bit of disappointment at first, but I can't imagine ever being "gutted" about it x