Gender scan Monday - just thrown up!!!

[lauralou]

I dont judge people because I don't believe people can be judged, no1 fits into any certain "category" and everyone is totally different, although we may not all agree, it's not because we think they are wrong.
Xxx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Very true. Wish everyone was like that, there are some uber judgemental buggers out there! x

 

[redbear]

Men seem to get gd more than women, mine didnt but how many men want a son for whatever reason, they should call it Henry 8th Syndrome (he would have loved you cosmic!) xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Hahaha not a chance that he'd have chopped my head off lol
My oh actually has no preference but yeah, i know a lot of men want a son dont they? x

 

[cosmicgirl]

I actually had a (maybe mad) idea, not to find out the gender of the next baby.
This is my reasoning. I always find out asap, usually around 16 weeks, they tell me its another boy, I get all upset with myself, I withdraw into myself, I cry, hide away then gradually start to talk about it and gain some sort of acceptance. When baby is born and I lay my eyes on this beautiful creature, i am so in love it hurts. (All mums know thsi feeling at birth that I'm talkng about).
So I thought, if i dont find out, would I skip all the upset and just head straight for the acceptance and love??
Is this madness? x

 

[knopk@]

My DH is different - he wanted a girl, i had a preference for a girl too but we are having a boy. I could tell he was disappointed but we have had time to get our heads around it hence going for a private scan.
He is now looking forward to his arrival and it will be great for boys to.have thia age gap.but the question about the 3rd is open. Although i think we are bound to have a 3rd boy.

Tapatalking so cant see signatures

 

[tiaflame]

I actually had a (maybe mad) idea, not to find out the gender of the next baby.
This is my reasoning. I always find out asap, usually around 16 weeks, they tell me its another boy, I get all upset with myself, I withdraw into myself, I cry, hide away then gradually start to talk about it and gain some sort of acceptance. When baby is born and I lay my eyes on this beautiful creature, i am so in love it hurts. (All mums know thsi feeling at birth that I'm talkng about).
So I thought, if i dont find out, would I skip all the upset and just head straight for the acceptance and love??
Is this madness? x

I'm not sure about that? I think with your longing for a baby girl so much. I know you'd love the baby whatever when you saw him/her but would your feelings of disappointment be more strong iykwim as you've had no time to accept that it's a boy. I don't know as I've not been in that situation. Xx


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[cosmicgirl]

I coped a bit better with DS1, 2 and 3 because I knew that I still had "chances" to have a little girl. OH was also open to more kids and we had room and financial stability to pay for more.
I definately would have stopped at 2 if I'd have had a little girl but I'm so glad that I didnt because I wouldnt have my gorgeous kids that I have right now.
Now I have to think a) can we afford another b) what if it was another boy? How would I cope emotionally and c) should I try the PGD route

Lots of thinking to do x

 

[cosmicgirl]

I actually had a (maybe mad) idea, not to find out the gender of the next baby.
This is my reasoning. I always find out asap, usually around 16 weeks, they tell me its another boy, I get all upset with myself, I withdraw into myself, I cry, hide away then gradually start to talk about it and gain some sort of acceptance. When baby is born and I lay my eyes on this beautiful creature, i am so in love it hurts. (All mums know thsi feeling at birth that I'm talkng about).
So I thought, if i dont find out, would I skip all the upset and just head straight for the acceptance and love??
Is this madness? x

I'm not sure about that? I think with your longing for a baby girl so much. I know you'd love the baby whatever when you saw him/her but would your feelings of disappointment be more strong iykwim as you've had no time to accept that it's a boy. I don't know as I've not been in that situation. Xx


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Good point, maybe its not a good idea then x

 

[tiaflame]

I kind of know where you're coming from because before we had k we said we only wanted to have a baby if its a girl! Which is madness because you can't choose. I knew right from the day I was pregnant that it would be a boy. On our 20 week scan when it was confirmed, I have to say I was tinged with a bit of disappointment and this is the first time I've admitted that to anyone. Then everyone was saying to us "oh a boy, bet you wanted a girl" because hubby has 2 other boys. But I never ever showed I was disappointed. Obviously now he's here, I wouldn't change him for the world, though wish I could dress him in pink lol xx


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[cosmicgirl]

Its so hard to admit you are disappointed isnt it? How can you be disappointed in anything to do with a gorgeous little baby????
Its normal and absolutely ok to feel so disappointment if you saw a scenario in your mind of how your family would pan out. Its also ok to say "yeah, I would have loved a little girl/boy and I'm a bit disappointed". This doesnt by any means mean that you wish you could swap your baby for the opposite sex or that you dont love them to the moon and back.
If someone came along and offered to swap all my boys for girls - no way!!! Just wish I had a girl aswell! x

 

[cosmicgirl]

Its also important to remember that there are varying degrees of GD from very very mild to extreme x

 

[Corrinne37]

I actually had a (maybe mad) idea, not to find out the gender of the next baby.
This is my reasoning. I always find out asap, usually around 16 weeks, they tell me its another boy, I get all upset with myself, I withdraw into myself, I cry, hide away then gradually start to talk about it and gain some sort of acceptance. When baby is born and I lay my eyes on this beautiful creature, i am so in love it hurts. (All mums know thsi feeling at birth that I'm talkng about).
So I thought, if i dont find out, would I skip all the upset and just head straight for the acceptance and love??
Is this madness? x

This is my thinking!
Im not going to find out. I would really love a little girl and I know that I will never have another, this is it!
I wanted a girl when I was pregnant with my son, as I thought I may only have the one.
Having a boy spurred me to try again. But this time falling pregnant was a long hard slog!
It took nearly 3 yrs and 2 x MMC and relationship breakdown and depression and upset after the MC's.
I will be happy with whatever I get, and I mean that. But my heart will always long for na little girl and that mother / daughter relationship.
But I know after everything I will fall in love as soon as I meet my baby. xxxx

 

[Corrinne37]

Its so hard to admit you are disappointed isnt it? How can you be disappointed in anything to do with a gorgeous little baby????
Its normal and absolutely ok to feel so disappointment if you saw a scenario in your mind of how your family would pan out. Its also ok to say "yeah, I would have loved a little girl/boy and I'm a bit disappointed". This doesnt by any means mean that you wish you could swap your baby for the opposite sex or that you dont love them to the moon and back.
If someone came along and offered to swap all my boys for girls - no way!!! Just wish I had a girl aswell! x

Exactly, I'll never be disappointed if I have another little boy, just disappointed I never had a little girl . xxx

 

[tiaflame]

I think it makes it harder for yourself because you know it's not how you should feel and it's other people who make you feel worse. That's their problem if they don't like it! Tough! Xx

 

[scooby88]

Wow this is a very interesting and emotional thread. I'm due in 3 days. We are team yellow. I long for a baby girl. I dream about having a daughter. I always look at baby girl clothes and accessories when shopping. I chose a name for a girl when I found out I was expecting, we still can't decide on a boys name. I honestly cannot say how I will feel if I have a boy. I admit I will be disappointed and it feels so awful to even say it. I have this strange feeling I'm carrying a girl and i
Will be so shocked if its a boy. I know I'll have to try again soon for a daughter... It's such a strange feeling

 

[HelenJ]

Wow this is a very interesting and emotional thread. I'm due in 3 days. We are team yellow. I long for a baby girl. I dream about having a daughter. I always look at baby girl clothes and accessories when shopping. I chose a name for a girl when I found out I was expecting, we still can't decide on a boys name. I honestly cannot say how I will feel if I have a boy. I admit I will be disappointed and it feels so awful to even say it. I have this strange feeling I'm carrying a girl and i
Will be so shocked if its a boy. I know I'll have to try again soon for a daughter... It's such a strange feeling

Just wanted to say it is not bad at all to say you want to have a girl. With my first I found out at 20weeks that I had a boy and it has always been a dissapointment. I am a girl mummy not a boy. i love my son (don't get me wrong) but still like girls more. Second time I got a girl and now with my third I will be insanely dissapointed if it were to be a boy. I already have one and that is enough. When it will be a boy I will love the child obviously but it would be way much better to get another girl. This is my last but I know I would always feel like this (even if I had 20 kids) boys are just dissapointing to me. Not that I don't like boys but I just have a strong preference for girls.

 

[redbear]

I think with Alice not finding out was the best thing i could have done, because i didnt have to deal with people asking what we where having or making comment because we didnt know, and when she was born i forgot to ask what sex she was i just said 'its me!' because the baby looked just like me lol.
The midwife had to remind DH to check for the sex because we hadnt bothered we where just in love with the baby. Tbh when they said it was a girl i didnt care. But during pregnancy i had cried at dreams where i had a boy or if anyone told me it looked like a boy bump i got pissed off but they could have told me boy then and it wouldnt have mattered as much, maybe its the adrenaline or gas and air or the new love who knows but i think its a good idea to try because finding out didnt do you any good really did it (emotionally)? xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

That's what I found hard. "What are you having?" "Aww 5 boys" "never mind" cue pity look and shoulder shrug.
Most of the time I lied and said I didn't know. Only my close friends and family knew my true feelings x

 

[cosmicgirl]

No, finding out has never done me any good redbear x