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Feeling raw. Rant. Sorry.

Aww huni ur poem made me cry it's lovely and u have every right to feel way u do :-( huge massive hugs to u <3 xxxxxx
 
Thanks hun x I can't really read what I wrote without tearing up but that was my version of stamping my feet and screaming. I'm sorry by the way to anyone who reads the poem and is offended/hurt/upset by it. it's not intended for that I just needed to get it out and it only took around 20 mins to do but i have felt so much better since sharing it. I hope you don't mind.

Just counting down the hours til the confirmation scan now 22 hours to go. I remember starting the countdown at 60 hours to go. Now the blood loss has really slowed down the time is moving faster again.
 
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Feeling a bit rough today and i don't know why. Everyone at work says "You look better for the rest" and "You look a lot healthier now" Half know, Half don't and those comments were from those who don't but I guess it's one of the first times most have seen me without morning sickness. I just feel nothing. I gave my hubby a card with some men vits in there saying I'm not going to ask if you have taken them and i know you may not want to talk but here they are just in case then there is no weirdness about having the talk. You know what I feel and you know what I want but I'm going to leave the ball firmly in your court.
I left the card by his computer so he would get it when i was at work, I got a text "lol at card. I'm not ready to think about that yet. What do you want for tea"
I guess that's the best outcome I could have hoped for, I really want to talk about it. he doesn't. I'm respecting that. I can't help but wonder. I had a dream I got a bfp in may. which is a reason I was so shocked and in a way slightly unbelieving when I got one in Feb. I just feel so old and I know I'm not actually old but I am in my head. My son got his first wobbly tooth today and I'm upset that I've left it so late all this time has passed and I feel i've missed so much of my sons life as I've been expecting to do it all over again... but what if I don't get to do that? What if that's it? What if I've missed that. I never thought I'd miss changing a dirty nappy but I do. And I don't want to wait until grandchildren to do that.

Urgh I'm sorry I'm ranting again. I just can't rant in real life so. Here I go again.
 

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