Feel like a failure

[wannabmummy]

Expressing hasn't worked, my milk supply is decreasing every day, Theo still won't latch on, even after skin to skin, baths together trying everything under the sun, including spending the last week crying because he crying because he has severely trapped wind from having expressed milk in a bottle. I don't understand why he won't latch on, I've been to the docs today and my supply has demonised so much that I had to give him formula tonight.

Why has this happened to me?! I wanted it to work out so much and I've failed. I had a rubbish pregnancy, the worst birth possible and all I wanted was to be able to breastfeed my son, but it looks like I will be formula feeding now and all I want to do is cry about it all, I have massively failed at all of it.

 

[x_larlybelle_x]

so sorry ur feelin like this hun. Don't know what to say but didn't wanna read n run xxx

 

[wifeywifey]

Hun you tried so hard you should be proud and all the pressure you put on urself will now go away meaning you will hopefully feel better meaning you can enjoy lo more. Try infacol for the wind, should help. You should be proud many ppl would have give up you didnt x

Sent from my E15i using Tapatalk

 

[Nurse 26]

Oh hun, your really had it so tough! You are not in any way a failure! You have done amazing this far!

I don't know what else you can do, maybe some of the bf girls will have some suggestions. Either way you are doing what's best for theo

Big hugs xx

 

[Samsgirl]

You're not a failure hon. You brought baby into the world and you love him. Are feeding him, however way that may be and you are keeping him clean and snuggly. Babies don't need much more from mummy!

My supply has always been pants. There nothing I can do about it. So her feeds are mostly formula with a breakfast breast feed. I don't think she is suffering or loves me any less and your little one will love you regardless too do don't beat yourself up. He wants a happy mummy and if u stress yourself he will get vibes and worry himself too.

If formula top ups is the way forward then so be it cos I know u have tried everything. Big hugs and keep smiling cxx

 

[Lulabell]

Don't know if you seen my previous posts, but I went through the same thing. It's a devastating blow. I know exactly how you feel. I cried so much when I realised I couldn't do it any more. But like everyone on here said to me, you have given your little one the best start possible. In no way are you a failure. Sometimes it just doesn't happen, no matter how hard we try. I tried every position, expressing, you name it I tried it. Joshua was screaming with frustration. I began to dread every feed time. The first 12 weeks were amazing, I just couldn't understand why it changed. I swapped to formula after 14 and a half weeks. It was hard at first but then I noticed straight away that feeding times were alot less stressful. That loving feeling that I had during the first 12 weeks returned. He was happy and I was happy. I still wish I could of carried on, but I know I did my best. Never feel like a failure hun, you have done brilliantly. If you do switch to formula permenantly, it does get easier and you will feel happier. Trust me. Sending you lots of hugs xx

 

[hellywelly]

I know exactly how you feel. Someone came to the house everyday for the first week to help me with breastfeeding but my LO just didn't want to know. Of all the breastfeeding problems I had imagined, having a baby who disliked boobs was not one of them! I managed a fortnight of expressed breast feeding before my supply dried up, and the guilt and upset I felt at not breastfeeding was huge. But then I realised it was MY guilt and upset. My gorgeous LO didn't give a damn where dinner came from as long as she got it. And she doesn't love me any less for being ff either. Feeding times changed after I stopped trying to wrestle her on to my boobs. She was no longer hysterically crying and neither was I!! Don't don't don't waste time feeling bad like I did. It's wasted time that you won't get back and your LO doesn't care cause he knows his mummy loves him. xx

 

[Danti]

You are not a failure at all! I know it all feels shit atm but you brought that boy into this world, you tend to his every need and love him unconditionally! And you tried your hardest and persevered where others would have given up! Those are things to be extremely proud of! Focus on your Lo, on bringing him up to be a beautiful boy and an amazing man! Don't dwell on what you can't do, its not your fault, a happy baby and a happy mum is all that matters and if formula is a way of achieving that then please don't beat yourself up about it xx

2

 

[JJ Mum]

Are there any local breastfeeding support or advisors at the local todler groups, we have a couple run by the local docs, the health visitors know where they visit. Just trying to see if you can

I also found this online http://www.nationalbreastfeedinghelpline.org.uk/

The helpline number is 0300 100 0212

This may be worth a try, just incase there is anything you can do. I had trouble for a bit, and while your using forumla you could pump milk off, not for use now (freeze it as spare), with breastpump and your boobs will ramp up production, and keep going to buy you some time.

Also taking Fengreek from health food shop, (I didn't take it myself, but lots of feedback on it say its good quick help in milke supply increase, also porridge oats for breakie).

If it doesn't work out, it really is not the end of the world, I can totally understand how you feel, but as long as baby is feeding , then that's all they need, and they need you destressed and happy to be a good mum too. I bottle fed 3 babies and have BF only one baby, although I would choose BF now as they way to go, none of them have health issues or have suffered through bottlefeeding, it's what works for you, so don't blame youself

 

[BevG]

dont beat yourself up hun, did the doctor have any suggestions as to why? every single breast feed hs has had will have been great. you tried and if its not going well anymore then switch to the back up plan. i combi feed cos Alyssa had a slow start and wouldnt latch on for more than 5 mins before falling asleep, she was getting dehydrated and sleeping more and more so i started giving formula and then she got lazy and wouldnt put in the effort to get my breast milk so i carried on with the formula shes happy, im happy and it works fine. your doing the best you can, i hoarded some breast milk in my freezer incase my supply stopped. your amazing and special to him cos your his mummy, not because you produce milk so even on formula he will still feel bonded to you. carry on expressing as long as you can, offer him the boob sometimes but dont stress about it and give him formula top ups if thats what you need to do. its most important to not stress. every drop of milk you give him is a bonus and thats just fine

 

[So_hopeful81]

I have been express feeding since week 1. My milk supply started dropping between week 4 and 5. I was devastated!!! I cried for a whole day and night. Eventually, my fiancé got so cross with me that he went and got a bottle of formula. I. Tied during the whole feed. It felt like he was feeding her poison! I had really been worked on and brainwashed well by HVs and midwives.

Ella took the feed, and I want to add she enjoyed it! I felt less pressure after that and my supply increased a little bit! I then went to the docs and he prescribed me domperidone. My supply increased massively!!!
I had already been taking fenugreek and eating porridge oats! The domperidone is the only thing that helped. Would you consider that? If not, I wouldn't worry at all. Formula is fab now!!! Xxx

 

[BabyBrain]

Been there hun! And I made myself feel like crap over it time and time again. But tbh when my little man gives me his drunken little smile after a bottle of formula the love is the same! Combination feeding didn't work for us and he's now just on formula. But yanno my little man is happy, healthy, gaining lots of weight and I've stopped feeling guilty. I still often feed skin to skin and it's an amazing experience, it's just not quite the way I intended it to be....but then nothing ever is with this child lol

you are a fantastic mummy and finding a solution to a problem you are faced with is just as important as everything going smoothly iykwim xxxxxxxxx

 

[jojo_2012]

Don't beat yourself up BF isn't the only thing important to your son you have his whole life to do great mummy things for him.

Can I add 5-6 weeks were horror weeks for us he was just windy all the time every night was awful. We still have our witching hour now.

 

[tillzy69]

Your not a failure! Your a great mummy! Don't put yourself down

 

[littlemiss83]

Have you tried Agnus Castus (sp) I was watching a programme last night about herbal remedies, and that was mentioned as being good for increasing milk supply.

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[wannabmummy]

Thanks girls! I've honestly exhausted every option. I tried BF groups and HV, midwives and even paid for a lactation consultant to come and help me. I tried expressing, skin to skin, bathing together to get him to latch, different positions, herbal remedies, manual/electric pump, nipple shields. Everything I can do, I did and it all didn't work. The only time he goes on is in the morning when my boobs are ready to burst, I guess it's coz he gets it easily rather than having to work for it. And even that isn't going well now because my milk supply is disappearing :,-( you're all right, at least I know I tried. It just all got on top of me last night and I felt awful. I still do feel rubbish but he seems happy today so i shouldn't complain really xxx

 

[BevG]

see Alyssa is the same, lazy feeder. she had got to the point of only taking the boob when it was full to bursting so i just fed her that and gave bottles but kept offering her the boob at every feed and just giving the bottle when she didnt want boob, weeks later were still combi feeding and shes actually taking the boob better now and going thru a clingy phase where she refuses the bottle off me a lot and prefers to latch and feed off me now! sods law huh lol. you should be able to feed him off you about 3 times a day if you dont stress about it cos thats what i did first as i got engorged a few times a day and she would only bf then, so i just let her and it worked out fine. my supply levelled out to what she wanted and im not stressing it, shes happy and thriving on both and im chilled, her dad can help out if im knackered, my mum can mind her and she takes bottles of formula off them happily and i can bf her and she will take a bottle off me sometimes but never more than 4oz and only after shes had boob first lol so why not just try that hun, just offer him boob when your full if thats what he wants and if he refuses at other times then just give him a bottle of formula or ebm if you have enough. dont stress it. and if your supply dries up or he stops taking boob altogether then its ok, it wont hurt him or do any harm and you gave him the best start

 

[Nurse 26]

How are things now hun? xx

 

[TORino]

Aw Hun

You've done a grand job so try not to beat yourself up.

Breastfeeding is bloody hard work isn't it? You've given him the best start possible and 7 weeks is quite a long time really.

He will still thrive on formula and be a happy contented baby I'm sure.