Hi everyone, This is my first post here. I'm currently 19 weeks pregnant and even though I still have many days left until my due date, there is something that is really bothering me and for which I have to make a decision soon. My mum died when I was young and I live in another country than my dad. We have a great relationship. I was planning on asking him to fly in only a couple of days after the birth, because I really want to just be alone with my partner for that moment. I'm also giving birth at a birth center, and it's not like 'the family' can wait in the lobby. You're there with your birth partner and the midwife and nobody else is allowed in. I see it as a sacred moment to share with my husband. I don't think I would have wanted my mum to be there even if she was alive. So I was planning on giving birth, then telling him and then he can come when he wants. Two things are making me wonder: 1- the price of the last minute plane ticket 2- I can't decide between my peace and comfort for the birth and depriving him of the experience of seeing baby in the hours after the birth. I also don't want him to stay at our small apartment in the first days and was going to suggest him staying in a hotel. I am not making a child for him, but this is a huge moment for him too. I don't want to sound selfish, but I do think that I need to put myself and my baby first in this. I just don't know what to do. Any thoughts?