end of my tether

[BevG]

i have reached the limit of what i can stand.
no gas, no heating or hot water, no money, sore boobs, screaming baby
somethings gotta give so im giving in much easier and giving her a bottle when shes hungry cos i just cant take having to sit here with her attatched to me 24/7. i can barely tell when its hunger versus wanting comfort anymore and shes not eating properly off me now anyway, just constantly using me for comfort. im pretty sure its reflux cos whenever i try to lie her down she wakes and cries and i have to put her back on the boob to get her back to sleep....after a bottle shes quite happy for a lil while so i geet a short break, and if she goes to sleep i might even get the chance to put her down so i cave.
i feel crap about it but i just cant carry on bf'ing if this is the way its going to be every day. i almost hate my life and ive been living on crap til oh comes home and can cook cos best i can do is snag a pot noodle when im alone with her.

sorry ladies just need to moan a bit

 

[pinkyprincess]

I hate to say it but Tyler was exactly like that. My OH and I were discussing tonight about how when he worked away I could barely eat let alone do anything. He'd only sleep on me and rarely go down in his basket. I know it's hard (and you've had lots of extra troubles) but I promise it is so worth it in the end. When she'll start pulling away from the boob mid feed just to look at you and smile. If it is too much tho she isn't going to starve! Remember no matter how you feed you are providing the correct nourishment for her which makes you a fantastic mum!

 

[TORino]

Aw bev!!

It's so bloody hard isn't it? You've done so well keeping up for so long. Only you know when you have reached your breaking point with things so if you feel that things will be better if you ff then don't beat yourself up about it sweetheart. Easier said than done but done be hard on yourself if you do decide to. How about waiting to see the doc and get some Gaviscon before you make your decision?

Do you have anyone to help you out in the day when OH is at work?? My mum has been my lifesaver. I think if I didn't have someone come to visit me in the day I would have had a nervous breakdown by now. I'm dreading the day when she can't come!!

I'm right behind you I think with all of this. Mummyhood is no walk in the park. I got told off today by a mw for not eating properly too.

Xx

 

[AugustMum]

Such a difficult decision to make.

You've done so well to get as far as you have and if it's really the decision you want to make and you feel you've done every thing then go for it. I was in the same position as you )except you've carried on far longer than I did) and it was exhausting. xx

 

[hugsy]

aww hun so sorry your having such a hard time right now

have you tried raising up the top of the mosses basket? it works well for us as her reflux isnt too bad at night only during the day when she naps on her mat

Im FF so cant give much advise but maybe if you dont wanna give up bf just consider giving her a dummy for comfort so you get a bit of a break

i also find standing her completly uprite helps when she goes hysterical with it , hope she starts to improve soon, kayla is on the gaviscon a week and a half and while it hasnt cured it its definitly improved things and she doesnt cry as much and not as hysterical or for as long

 

[Nic36]

It is such a hard decision to make, but you have to go with what is right for YOU and your LO and not what someone else might tell you is the right or wrong thing to do. I beat myself up such a lot when EBF didn't work out for me, but I couldn't physically keep going the way I was, and being the thoroughly unhappy mummy I was would not have made for a happy baby. Whatever you decide, it will be the right decision for you. Good luck! Xx

 

[BevG]

i'll be off to the doctors again on monday for sure 4th week in a row now.... shes pretty much stopped actually drinking off me for more than a few mins and just comfort sucks a little at a time to soothe her throat so i think im not really gonna get much choice about it anyway as my supply is well and truly messed up after days of this and weeks of ups and downs.

i think that stopping bf will enable me to cure the thrush, have no soreness and get a bit of sleep which will make it easier to deal with. ive propped her basket up and she still wont sleep in it, she still seems to have something coming up occasionally even when shes pretty upright, she sicked up when in her bouncy chair before and it wasnt even bouncing. im not gonna stop completely but im pretty sure my supply is messed up badly now and her preference is the lazy way so i will keep trying to get her to feed but offer more topups now too as i know shes not taking much from me

if its anything like what i get then its just an attack and once medicated it will go away for a bit, my attacks start for no reason every few months or so and go away for a while after a course of antacid pills so hopefully she will be ok after some gaviscon for a bit.

 

[Sleepy sue]

I know by the posts you've made on here and the support you've given to others inc me that this is not an easy decision.

Like others have said you have to do what is right for you and lo and only you know that. Don't beat yourself up about it ff or bf your baby will be fine

I'm not sure if you have tried a dummy but I totally recommend one. Sam was always attached to me and was mainly soothing, this gas given me a bit of free time

Do whats right for you you've really been through the mill and back x

 

[littlemuffin]

You do what's right for you. Happy mummy, happy baby.
We can't tell you whats right or wrong as we don't live with you and can't see what you are goi g through.

Don't be worried about giving up BF, you have done an amazing job. X

 

[BevG]

dummy is hit and miss, tried a few diff ones and she will hardly ever take it so thats not worked either lol, i think i like them more than she does cos they end up in my mouth after shes spat them out n i hve my hands full.

 

[Mrs. KM]

Bev, I think you have done a great job! As others have said happy mum, happy baby, so do what works best for you! Do you have a wrap or sling? I think they help with reflux because the baby is kept upright, plus she will be close to you which is what she wants xx

 

[Verity2011]

As all the girls have said, you've done great especially with all the difficulties. One of my sisters had thrush and she said it was excruciating so I think to even attempt to persevere when you have full blown thrush makes you a hero in my books! As Mrs KM said, a happy mummy is the best thing for the baby so don't beat yourself up about your decision.

I also highly recommend a baby sling for round the house. I use my baby bjorn for walks and the moby wrap for round the house. It's AMAZING! It really does distribute the baby's weight and Ariel loves it when he's asleep and it allows me to have my hands free.

 

[jojo_2012]

Hope it works out because everything you said can happen to FF babies too but I'm sure you've considered that. I'm sure you've thought it through Bev, you've given her the best start despite the pain so good on ya!

 

[littlemiss83]

Try not to beat yourself up too much, i've been there myself & the mental torment is horrible.

Formula gives the nourishment LO needs, so try not to think along the lines of...he isn't gonna be as healthy or whatever. You have done what you can & only you can decide what to do.

Good luck

xxxxxxxx

 

[Samsgirl]

You have done amazing!!!! I am also going through exactly the same...... Supply going but I reckon it's cos I keep getting infections and so my body concentrating on trying to sort me! Maybe there a bit of that with you also being under the weather.
I am proud that after everything I have got this far!!! I never thought I could do 7 days never mind 7 weeks! Xx

 

[BabyBrain]

You've been a real trooper and you've done everything you can. I've felt really guilty about not being able to exclusively bf but Bertie doesn't care as long as he gets what he needs. FF can be a pain in the arse with sterilising and making up bottles at an ungodly time of the morning but you soon learn how to do it with both eyes shut and terrible motor skills lol.

Your little girl is very very lucky to have you, don't forget that xxxxxxxx

 

[BevG]

i have a sling lol, i found it this morning, it had been eaten by the couch.
Alyssa seems to have decided to feed from me properly again this morning so i'll see how it goes n get the docs tomorrow, i swear this child just wants to be contrary lol. im gonna give bf a last chance til i run outta fenugreek caps since theyre not cheap n it would be a shame to waste them.

 

[ISH]

Well done, Alyssa! I do hope she cooperates for you, but even if you have to switch to FF, you've already given her a very good start

You are a great mummy no matter what!

 

[Mrs. KM]

Good luck!

 

[Esperanza84]

dummy is hit and miss, tried a few diff ones and she will hardly ever take it so thats not worked either lol, i think i like them more than she does cos they end up in my mouth after shes spat them out n i hve my hands full.

We didn't Think that our little girl would take the dummy eiter but she did. We just had to hold it there (in her mouth) for a while, kind of "forcing her" to take it! She cries a lot and wont settle on her own but I also got a sling so I can do stuff around the house. I bf her every 2/3 hours and if she cries in between, I'm not bf her because she just wants comfort. This way she eats properly when she eats.

Hope it sorts out for you guys! Anyway, I Think u did a great job!!

xx