Elective c section advice please?

[kaywallis1]

Hi all, I'm due on the 30/12 with a baby I'm choosing to put up for adoption for personal reasons including domestic abuse. Abortion wasn't an option for me. Nobody knows about this pregnancy apart from my mum, I'm only 20 years old. I asked my consultant for an elective c section as I believe this will be less traumatic for me. Plus I have no one to attend a vaginal birth with me as my mum will be caring for my son. As no one knows if I go into labour I will struggle with childcare because my mum won't have arranged time off work. Also my sons birthday is the 17th & Christmas is coming up, I don't want to be away from h. I know these seem selfish reasons but I just want to make this as easy as possible for myself, my consultant says seeing a c section scar everyday will be psychologically damaging to me but scar or not ill always be aware of what I've done. I'm due to see her again on the 11th & ill be 37+2, she said to let her know then if I still am hoping for c section then. Do you think I would get one? How early do they do them? Tia x

 

[babyem]

I do understand what he meant about the scar being a constant reminder. C-Sections are major abdominal surgery which takes weeks to recover from. I cant even begin to try and put myself in your position, but when I try to, I imagine a vaginal birth to be the less traumatic of the two. You will probably recover alot quicker, be able to look after yourself and son alot sooner and easier. I think if I had a c-section and was having my chils adopted then having to rest and mope about all day after a c section would drive me mad with too much time to think iykwim? Sounds like youre in an awful situation x

 

[kaywallis1]

I have thought of that too but regardless I'm going to be thinking of it forever. I've been thinking about it for 3 months & I'm really positive it's what I want. X

 

[redbear]

They tend to do them a day or two before your due date or on it, my only advice is think how you will be affected looking after your son after surgery, if its what you really want you do have the right to one now. Good luck x

 

[Capricorn]

You should do what you feel is right and I can see that you've already decided in your heart that a c section would be the best route for you and your family. I had a vaginal birth but he was breech so had to have an episiotomy. This scar still hurts almost 3 years on so you may not escape a vaginal birth unscathed either.

Do what you feel in your gut. Like you've said, you'll always be reminded of it through your scar, but it will be a part of your life story, and of the baby's.

Good luck xx

 

[leesey]

With a c-section you can't drive for over a month, you can barely stand or walk to go for a shower by yourself for days. It's humiliating and frustrating, but the thing that makes it worthwhile won't make it worthwhile for you. Having your baby after it all makes up for the pain and indignity of c-section recovery.

I respect your decision to put your baby up for adoption, it takes a lot of guts to do that, but I don't feel that c-section is the way to go unless absolutely necessary (eg failure to progress during labour like me). Please try if at all possibly to pursue a natural birth, and only have a section as an emergency.

My heart goes out to you in your situation xx

 

[kaywallis1]

Thank you all for your messages. I don't want to offend anyone who tried for a natural birth and couldn't by this post by the way x I had a vaginal birth with my son and it was pretty straight forward I'm just not sure I could go through it alone also the baby wouldn't be taken straight away which is what I want & I'm just worried about the dates for childcare and being away from my son at Christmas time he wouldn't understand he's only 4. Do you think I could request induction instead then? X

 

[redbear]

Maybe it would be worth asking, I just think it would be easier in the long run a day of been away from son that three in hospital then weeks recovery, id just think its worth thinking about xxx

 

[JoeyClare]

I had an emergency c-section. It is pretty major surgery and I still feel a little sore sometimes afterwards. Would your mum be able to help with your son afterwards as the first few weeks are hard. You will have to remain in hospital for 48 hours afterwards with a c-section so that they can monitor your recovery. If you're sure it's the route you want to take and the hospital is willing then my advice issue sure you're prepared for the recovery. I bought some knickers that covered my bum for maternity pads, but didn't think about the fact that they sat on my usual knicker line is - so they sat on the wound. Make sure you get big pants that go up to your belly button.

In terms of medication after, I was given morphine for the first few days and sent home with paracetamol and ibuprofen. I also had a weeks worth of Clexane injections in the stomach to prevent clotting. Afterwards, they get you up for a shower within 12 hours. It's not pleasant, but on day 3, I was getting around a bit more (just slowly and carefully).

Best of luck in whatever you decide. Xx

 

[JoeyClare]

Just to say with induction, it can often be very long labour and contractions can be more intense. I'd say a natural vaginal birth would be preferable to induction.

 

[kaywallis1]

Thanks so much for advice! I was induced with my son so I guess I've never had a 'natural' labour. Xx

 

[Toria111]

I've had an elective section and having another one this time around. My last one was 10 days before due date, and this one will be 6 days early. I think each hospital has different rules. My hospital now won't perform an elective before 39 weeks unless absolutely required. Ie: pre eclampsia.

 

[JoeyClare]

Toria, my hospital was the same and even then they tried to get me to 39 weeks with preeclampsia! I think a lot if it comes down to statistics and how many inductions/c-sections are on their target sheet!

 

[JJ Mum]

Ive had 5 csections and a tube repair op which was near the same in nov 12
Ive not had labour so cant compare but i wouldnt have a section from choice, althougth i do agree planning childcare etc round an elective is easy. Most if mine have been 39 plus as they dont like to do them before then. This time hosp booked me for 38 weeks, but i then only got to 36 weeks and had to suddenly sort childcare anyway !

I have had really very hard recoverys and also much easier ones, but it really is still a good 2 weeks before your feeling much more human again.

When i had my tube op ,( same as section, in same scar etc) i lied and told my kids and my mates / family etc id put my back out, and that worked , but i did have to get moving much quicker and be more impressive, this was then one of my couple of harder recoverys and it dragged on ( just thought it worth saying)

Good luck hun

 

[redbear]

Ive never had a c section but I must say finding childcare for six hours isn't impossible, I was out the same day and it was drop Alice at my mums at 2am go to hospital and pick Alice back up at 2pm so my mum only had her half the night and half a day, so I will say a natural labour can be a very fast recovery and I felt like I hadn't had a baby after my second because I had no stitches' I felt good as new literally an hour after labour! It was a brill recovery for me. Im not pushing you im just giving you my experience of having my second.

Also you can get someone to come with you, a friend or a volunteer would come, personally I wouldn't have minded doing it alone because the mw was so fab and friendly. xx

 

[leesey]

Could you arrange a short term nanny for this purpose do you think? Try to find a local childminder that you can get to know for a couple of weeks and trust to look after your wee one when you go into labour. Might be doable xx

 

[Ella1979]

With a c-section you can't drive for over a month, you can barely stand or walk to go for a shower by yourself for days. It's humiliating and frustrating, but the thing that makes it worthwhile won't make it worthwhile for you. Having your baby after it all makes up for the pain and indignity of c-section recovery.

I think everyone recovers differently from a c-section. Both times I've been up and walking the next day. This time I had a shower the day after - had a bit of help getting to and from the shower, but not in it. You can drive after 2 weeks as long as you feel fit enough and you're covered by your insurance. I'm currently just 3 weeks post c-section and am moving about as normal and drove today for the first time with no problems. I have a bit of pain in the ends of the scar and a bit of backache, but otherwise I'm absolutely fine.

To the OP - you have to do what's best for you. I really feel for you and the situation you're in xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

With a c-section you can't drive for over a month, you can barely stand or walk to go for a shower by yourself for days. It's humiliating and frustrating, but the thing that makes it worthwhile won't make it worthwhile for you. Having your baby after it all makes up for the pain and indignity of c-section recovery.

I think everyone recovers differently from a c-section. Both times I've been up and walking the next day. This time I had a shower the day after - had a bit of help getting to and from the shower, but not in it. You can drive after 2 weeks as long as you feel fit enough and you're covered by your insurance. I'm currently just 3 weeks post c-section and am moving about as normal and drove today for the first time with no problems. I have a bit of pain in the ends of the scar and a bit of backache, but otherwise I'm absolutely fine.

To the OP - you have to do what's best for you. I really feel for you and the situation you're in xx

Be very careful about driving advice. Insurance companies will use this to wiggle out of claims as it's known that the advice is 6 weeks. I know someone who didn't get paid out because she didn't have a dr note saying she was ok to drive. My insurance company wouldn't even take a note, they were adamant it was 6 weeks!!!

 

[babyem]

Wss^
Even having a local anaesthetic can make your insirance invalid x

 

[Laura_C]

I would definitely go for the natural labour if you can, as it happens I've had to have c secs with all my babies but they have been due to emergencies bar my last one which was elective.

From a childcare perspective you would need much more help after a c section - you won't be up and about with your 4 yo much on your own. Although you can plan for the actual procedure you will be admitted for at least 2 days away from your son to recover - this is best case scenario. You will need help for at least a week or two post discharge. After two weeks you generally feel much more able to do things but even then you shouldn't overdo it. I would have loved to have had natural deliveries if I could.

At least with a natural labour if fast you could be out fairly soon after and not have the long road of recovery like you would with a section. I suppose it's all unknowns at this stage as you could need stitches etc from a natural labour but I would say if this is your second child I think labour would probably be easier/faster this time around too x