Doing the deed in tri1

Discussion in 'First Trimester' started by Laura1992, Jun 5, 2016.

  1. Laura1992

    Laura1992 Well-Known Member

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    Bit of a more personal subject.. my partner and I had a bit of a heated conversation today because he's feeling neglected in the bedroom. I've told him that I likely won't want to do it much in tri1, as I am just so tired and nauseous and bloated. On top of that, I worry about bleeding after and then all the stress that would come with that. Bottom line: I'm not up for it.

    We've always been pretty active, so he's finding the adjustment difficult. I wasn't very patient with him about it, and basically told him to stop being a baby and get used to it, because there probably won't be too much of that happening for a while. I feel guilty, but I also feel like he should be more understanding and less selfish.

    Has anyone else had similar problems? Sorry to rant. It's upset me a bit.
     
    #1 Laura1992, Jun 5, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 5, 2016
  2. paige23

    paige23 Well-Known Member

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    Try not to let him get to you hun! My partner was exactly the same until we dtd and it made me bleed, which I knew it would! But on the bright side it's put him well off! He doesn't even dare mention it now.
    Try and think positive I know its hard, such a big change in both your lives! X
     
  3. Rhiandell

    Rhiandell Well-Known Member

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    Yup, same here. I'm sooo not in the mood and bf is really grumpy and complaining that he can't go like this for nine months. He says he's not blaming me, but I feel pretty pressured anyway as he keeps bringing it up. I've also tried pointing out that if he wants to get me in the mood, it would probably be better to try to actually seduce me instead of complaining. Not getting through yet...
     
  4. Laura1992

    Laura1992 Well-Known Member

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    I think he's trying to seduce me... he's just come home with kebabs :p

    On second thoughts, after I've scoffed one of those, there's no way.
     
  5. FBTTN8079

    FBTTN8079 Well-Known Member

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    I'm the opposite at the moment and really really want to dtd but with our bleed scare I don't want to risk it, we've been doing other stuff lol but I've told him I just want to wait until we've had our scan and spoken to the consultant before dtd lol
     
  6. lorpezlza

    lorpezlza Member

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    I explained to my oh today that my sex drive has gone out the window and he said he had noticed but he's fine with it. Quite shocked by his understanding. Bless him.
     
  7. Slb24

    Slb24 Well-Known Member

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    Tbh my partner has been supportive with this but we've already had 3 loses and he didn't want to risk it either plus I had some early bleeding. I will be 12 weeks tomorrow and we first DTD last week. The sickness has passed as well so I feel a lot better!

    If you feel up to it you could try a bit of foreplay but I very much doubt you will be able to do much until the sickness has passed! Lol

    Tell him to suck it up, I don't think many women feel like DTD in tri 1. By tri 2 you will be much better and may even want more! Lol some women can't get enough when they're pregnant.

    I would just try to explain to him how you're feeling. I don't think men understand how hard being pregnant can be, especially at first.
    Xx


     
  8. BlondeP

    BlondeP Well-Known Member

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    Yep, having this battle myself! After trying in Monday then bleeding after (even though the midwife told me we can't harm baby by having sex and the bleed is usually just from disturbing my already tender in sides after so many tests) I haven't been able to go near him since!!!! Which I'm gutted by as we'll as I'd love to but the fear is gripping me xxxx
     
  9. mummywanabe

    mummywanabe Well-Known Member

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    We didn't do it at all my last pregnancy I lost interest totally, don't have much interest this time either
     
  10. catswiskers

    catswiskers Well-Known Member

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    I had a mc last week at 12 weeks and we DTD the night before for the first time since I got my bfp so if you don't wanna do it tell him your pregnant for 9 months and until baby is born your body belongs to your baby not your man.
    I dont know if dtd bought the mc on but if I ever fall pregnant again my husband will have to sort himself out x
     
  11. luratraloora

    luratraloora Well-Known Member

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    Ooooh I was the opposite last pregnancy! I couldnt get enough! I cant remember if I did it much in first trimester or not tho. Xx


     
  12. Beckyb1991

    Beckyb1991 Well-Known Member

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    Just do what I did ... I suffered with hyperemesis gravidarum throughout my pregnancy so was very very sick day and night. One evening (about 16 weeks gone) after me having been in bed sick all day , not showered with sick in my hair (attractive) ... my o/h came onto me , obviously I said absolutly no and he made me feel that guilty and jokEd about going to find someone else to satisfy him (dick!) I was so worn down and exhausted I gave him what he wanted and climbed on top of him and started -well you know. I felt so sick it was unreal and it didn't help I'd just forced down a piece of toast.... I said to him I didn't feel well but he made me carry on... 30 seconds later I was sick all over his chest and face and in his open mouth... safe to say he never guilt tripped me again lol xx
     
  13. Laura1992

    Laura1992 Well-Known Member

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    Um, he made you carry on?
     
  14. Robbda

    Robbda Well-Known Member

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    we tried I bleed he just wants a cuddle from now on LOL I do feel bad as we were so intimate before but In a way I agree we need to put bean first for a little while x
     

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