Do you think this is weird?...

[monkeynut]

My OH's sister has just named her baby the same name as my son (OH is not his father) my son is treated like part of the family by all others of my OH's family (dont see his older sister much).

I think its weird and almost as if she is doesnt see him as any way part of the family, my OH and his other sister think this too...

 

[CARNAT22]

Very weird!

Regardless of whether he is the Dad or not there is a child of that name alrady in the "immediate" family so it should have been a no-no!

Did you have any idea?

How long have you been together? Could she have had the name already?

xxxxxxxxxx

 

[monkeynut]

Nope, no idea, we have been together for 3 1/2 years now so she definitely didn't have the name in mind before she knew my son... In fact her and her husband were adamant never to have children until she became pregnant!

 

[CARNAT22]

Very, very odd behaviour!

Of all the names they could have had??

Most bizarre.

Do you see much of this sister?

xxxxxxx

 

[monkeynut]

Very, very odd behaviour!

Of all the names they could have had??

Most bizarre.

Do you see much of this sister?

xxxxxxx

I'm so glad I'm not just the only one and over thinking it!

Luckily I dont see her much at all (me or oh dont particularly like her as she is so self centred). I certainly have no wish to see her more regularly now!

 

[clairebear22]

That is very strange!

We have lots of 'same names' in our family e.g i'm Claire and so is OH's Cousin and that gets confusing when we have any family get togethers and it's a complete coincidence that we have the same name. To do it on purpose is madness! x

 

[Sarah85]

That's so weird lol! Is it a name that could possibly be two? Like my friends kids are both Oliver but one is ollie and other is Oliver so bit different? That's really odd tho lol at least you named him first if anyone asked

 

[CARNAT22]

I am so glad you won't have to see her much, what a complete weirdo!

xxxxxxx

 

[monkeynut]

I don't want to say it here as its quite unusual and don't want her seeing lol, but there's no way it can be shortened or changed in any way!

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks she is a total weirdo!

 

[Olive]

What's your sons name?


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[Sarah85]

That's so bizarre I'd say take it as a compliment as she must love his name but I just think she's a bit of a nutter lol

Don't worry yourself too much hun Id b exactly the same as you! Has any of his family actually said anything to her about it? I know my sister would well and truly take the piss if I'd done it or brother did lol

 

[LouiseB]

To be honest I don't really consider my sisters step children as part of our family and I would consider using the same names as her what her step children have, so no I don't think it's weird

They are as related to me as any child in the street. They have their own family. What do they care for their step parents family? Nothing.

None of her family will think of your child when they hear the name, they'll think of their own kin.

I just think your SIL feels that family is blood related, which is how I feel. Don't take it personally, because I doubt it means that she likes your kids any less or that they are less welcome - they just aren't family.

If you and you OH divorced, she'd never see your kids again and you wouldn't think to take them around.

 

[Gayle30]

Mmmm, I think it's odd. I've had a name for years I wanted to use but couldn't as my step brothers new partner has a little girl with that name. She told me not to be daft but at the end of the day it would have been too confusing for everyone. So hence why I've given my girl it as a middle name.

Odd xx

 

[monkeynut]

To be honest I don't really consider my sisters step children as part of our family and I would consider using the same names as her what her step children have, so no I don't think it's weird

They are as related to me as any child in the street. They have their own family. What do they care for their step parents family? Nothing.

None of her family will think of your child when they hear the name, they'll think of their own kin.

I just think your SIL feels that family is blood related, which is how I feel. Don't take it personally, because I doubt it means that she likes your kids any less or that they are less welcome - they just aren't family.

If you and you OH divorced, she'd never see your kids again and you wouldn't think to take them around.

I do understand what you mean, but you obviously have different views to what the rest of my oh family have (and the same as his older sister)... Oh's parents have welcomed my son into the family and treat him exactly the same as their blood gchildren, same as oh's younger sister, she sees my son as her nephew, he is very much part of the family in their eyes and all have said they find it weird.

I wouldn't have minded so much if she had just said she really likes the name and asked if I minded- in which case I would never have said that she shouldn't use the name. This is the same person who threw an absolute hissy fit when she found out what we wanted to call our baby if it was a girl- she was annoyed and slagged me off because they wanted to use the name if it was a girl... She had never mentioned the name if she had I would have ruled it out... But that's just her all over, petty and self centred!

 

[CARNAT22]

To be honest I don't really consider my sisters step children as part of our family and I would consider using the same names as her what her step children have, so no I don't think it's weird

They are as related to me as any child in the street. They have their own family. What do they care for their step parents family? Nothing.

None of her family will think of your child when they hear the name, they'll think of their own kin.

I just think your SIL feels that family is blood related, which is how I feel. Don't take it personally, because I doubt it means that she likes your kids any less or that they are less welcome - they just aren't family.

If you and you OH divorced, she'd never see your kids again and you wouldn't think to take them around.

Of course they will?? The OP's partner is step Dad to one "john" and uncle to the other "john"

I also think it's pretty heartless to not consider step children as part of the family???

It's not the children's fault they don't live with their biological mother and father.

Lots of people go on to be step-parents to children for life, are you suggesting that they should treat any children they 'create' differently??

I am sorry but I 100% disagree with what you say here.

If my brother chose to be with someone who already had a child then that child would be welcomed into our family!

xxxxxxxxx

 

[netty]

awww louise B, my family doesnt work like this all children are thought of equally blood or not! its not thier fault! i think thats quite sad actually!

Monkey nut - dont think too much into it hun, although it is weird i agree! cant really see why she would do that? She sounds a bit lol

 

[leesey]

I don't think stepchildren/half children (that sounds weird!!) should be treated in any way differently to full blood relatives. It's different I think when grown up children arrive in a family, but young children should be nurtured and welcomed into the family the same as any who were born there. Would anyone treat an adopted child differently? If they did I think that would be shocking behaviour and kids pick up on these things.
So yes I think it's weird that she would name her baby the same as your child, although I wouldn't put it past some people. She probably did it to try make a point of some kind? I have family members who would try a fly one like that.

But at the end of the day, the people who count know how weird and inappropriate it is, and that's all that matters. The baby will probably grow up and be embarrassed to be in his big cousin's shadow, but that's his mum's fault not yours xx

 

[Sarah85]

To be honest I don't really consider my sisters step children as part of our family and I would consider using the same names as her what her step children have, so no I don't think it's weird

They are as related to me as any child in the street. They have their own family. What do they care for their step parents family? Nothing.

None of her family will think of your child when they hear the name, they'll think of their own kin.

I just think your SIL feels that family is blood related, which is how I feel. Don't take it personally, because I doubt it means that she likes your kids any less or that they are less welcome - they just aren't family.

If you and you OH divorced, she'd never see your kids again and you wouldn't think to take them around.

Christ tad harsh lol. I 100% disagree. Think if my sister or brother had any step kids I'd NEVER treat them "like any other child off the street" I think it's so sad that your family are like that.
My bes friend has the best family unit made up of all step-siblings by blood and marriage. Treated no different from one another. I'm actually quite envious of their closeness.
Perhaps each family is different and whatever works for them works for them.

 

[babyem]

I don't see a problem, my neice and LO will have the same name, I picked it ages ago and have my reasons why I like it, SIL has her reasons and so doesn't bother me. There's nothing sinister behind it, we just both like the same name.

 

[babyem]

To be honest I don't really consider my sisters step children as part of our family and I would consider using the same names as her what her step children have, so no I don't think it's weird

They are as related to me as any child in the street. They have their own family. What do they care for their step parents family? Nothing.

None of her family will think of your child when they hear the name, they'll think of their own kin.

I just think your SIL feels that family is blood related, which is how I feel. Don't take it personally, because I doubt it means that she likes your kids any less or that they are less welcome - they just aren't family.

If you and you OH divorced, she'd never see your kids again and you wouldn't think to take them around.

I think this is a really sad opinion to have..
I'm sorry but family is family blood or not.. Having been told that I'm not family by someone who I considered to be my own family, I can tell you it's devastating to know thats what someone thinks of you. I hope these children don't know or come to know of your opinion...