Do you think this is weird?...

[Gayle30]

To be honest I don't really consider my sisters step children as part of our family and I would consider using the same names as her what her step children have, so no I don't think it's weird

They are as related to me as any child in the street. They have their own family. What do they care for their step parents family? Nothing.

None of her family will think of your child when they hear the name, they'll think of their own kin.

I just think your SIL feels that family is blood related, which is how I feel. Don't take it personally, because I doubt it means that she likes your kids any less or that they are less welcome - they just aren't family.

If you and you OH divorced, she'd never see your kids again and you wouldn't think to take them around.

As a step child myself, can't just add how sad this made me feel too. We don't choose to come from a broken home, and I tell you what-takes a special person to take on someone else's children and raise them as their own.

I'm 31 and have an amazing step family who've been there for me through the hard times, supported me, my brother and my mum and if it wasn't for them I would not have had the courage or opportunity to go on and build a relationship with my dad. Who by the way walked out on me when I was 6 years old, only to return and break our hearts and do it 10 years later again!

Your opinion is pretty harsh. These are real peoples feelings at the end of the day. Sorry, but hit a nerve there. Monkeynut, I still think its weird!!! But what can you do now. xx

 

[CARNAT22]

I don't see a problem, my neice and LO will have the same name, I picked it ages ago and have my reasons why I like it, SIL has her reasons and so doesn't bother me. There's nothing sinister behind it, we just both like the same name.

How does your SIL feel about this?

I do think it's odd that of all the names out there you want the same one as your neice?

2 cousins with the same name is just a bit odd...

Sorry!

xxxxxx

 

[mrswoody]

To be honest I don't really consider my sisters step children as part of our family and I would consider using the same names as her what her step children have, so no I don't think it's weird

They are as related to me as any child in the street. They have their own family. What do they care for their step parents family? Nothing.

None of her family will think of your child when they hear the name, they'll think of their own kin.

I just think your SIL feels that family is blood related, which is how I feel. Don't take it personally, because I doubt it means that she likes your kids any less or that they are less welcome - they just aren't family.

If you and you OH divorced, she'd never see your kids again and you wouldn't think to take them around.

I think this is totally appalling! You can't be so black and white on subjects like this as not all families are like yours.
I have a younger half sister (same father) and do not and would not totally dismiss her infact I love her to bits as do the rest of our family.
Step Children should be welcomed into a family and not secluded or treated the way you have said. Would you be happy to think, that if the situation where to arise and your own children became step children to another family, that they would be treated like this and it be OK? I don't think so.

Anyway monkeynut...it is a little odd under the circumstances. However saying that my OH is called John and so his unlce, grandad and a few other family members! My cousin and his wife have just had a baby girl and I was praying they wouldn't use the name we love for a girl which thankfully they haven't x

 

[CARNAT22]

My SIL used a name that was on our list for her 7 week old girl.

We never told them it was one of our names and we could have been sly as they did ask for our input.

I told them the truth, that I loved the name! They went with it so we'll go with something else.

It is not quite the same as them using a name we've had for years but still.

xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Gayle30]

My SIL used a name that was on our list for her 7 week old girl.

We never told them it was one of our names and we could have been sly as they did ask for our input.

I told them the truth, that I loved the name! They went with it so we'll go with something else.

It is not quite the same as them using a name we've had for years but still.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Course you wouldn't use the same name.....well, not in myopinion anyway!! Poor little ones with the same name as their cousin! Ive never heard the like before! Can't help but think its strange. And good for you Nat in not telling them it was on your list. You must have similar tastes! Xxxx

 

[leesey]

Anyway monkeynut...it is a little odd under the circumstances. However saying that my OH is called John and so his unlce, grandad and a few other family members! My cousin and his wife have just had a baby girl and I was praying they wouldn't use the name we love for a girl which thankfully they haven't x

I think it's different with traditional names, like my papa was James IV (not the king!! ) in his family, and his cousins were James as well, it was just the done thing. My uncle could well have been a James, and he may have named his son James too hypothetically. That would mean if my son were to be called that he'd have the same name as my cousin. Family traditions are different I think, a nice tribute kind of thing. I think it's more common now to do it as a middle name though.

It's hard when family members are expecting around the same time, you don't want to tread on each other's toes. My cousin is due a couple of weeks after me and I hope I don't spoil her names but we don't really see each other so we haven't discussed it in any way.

I'm actually more conscious of using names that friends might like and vice versa. We have friends due the same time as us and it's a bit nailbiting!!

Saying that, we've refused to use names that are remotely anything like our friends current children, so I can't imagine why a family member would want to use similar or same names. Just too inappropriate I think.

 

[babyem]

I don't see a problem, my neice and LO will have the same name, I picked it ages ago and have my reasons why I like it, SIL has her reasons and so doesn't bother me. There's nothing sinister behind it, we just both like the same name.

How does your SIL feel about this?

I do think it's odd that of all the names out there you want the same one as your neice?

2 cousins with the same name is just a bit odd...

Sorry!

xxxxxx

She knew I liked the name before she had her daughter and I'm not changing it as I've wanted it since I can remember. I don't think it's odd, you get lots of people who have the same name as other family members. Chances are there's always going to be someone with the same name x

 

[CARNAT22]

My OH comes from a massive family (40 first cousins )

And no-one has the same name??

We've discounted names as his cousins have named their babies said names.

I guess it depends on how close you are but my baby will see his/her cousins (our siblings kids) a lot so it would be very odd for me to use one of our neices or nephews name...

xxxx

 

[Olive]

I guess I'd find it annoying but you just have to think of it as flattery if you can. Although strange for family members! It's not like its even a common name so you'd think she thought of it because of you x


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[Bobbiex]

I'd take it as a compliment lol x