Disrespectful husband.

[violet13]

I've well and truly had enough today! My friends here with her dog and she's a loud dog, I ended up dozing off as I'm exhausted after a horrible nights sleep again while he gets to sleep in. He took our dogs and my friends dog outside and was playing with them which they barked a lot waking me up and seriously pissing me off considering I was up 4 times with them already making too much noise, he keeps doing this it's not a one off. He constantly asks why when I ask him to do something for baby's arrival, let's the dogs run riot and winds them up then I have to deal with the after math after cleaning all day? I just wanted to sleep that was all he knew and let them go nuts xxx

 

[Bunny432]

Have you tried speaking to him? Maybe it's your hormones lovely but I don't think he will have intentionally done it. My man makes plenty of mistakes but don't they all. It'll be tough on both on you this whole pregnancy journey, try speaking to him. As for the sleeping in its not their fault they sleep easier because they don't have huge bumps, you can't blame him for that.

Take a nice hot bath and time to yourself, face mask and candles I'm sure you'll feel better after that. Look at the positives and good in your life and go from there. No ones OH or lives are perfect but when you take time to think about it you'll realise how lucky you actually are.

I used to be terrible thinking everything my OH did was intentional until I realised they are as new to this as we are and my hormones were causing me to overreact xx

 

[Lulu90]

Has anyone ever told you, the world doesn't stop because you're pregnant? Your poor bloody husband!

 

[WishingHoping]

Has anyone ever told you, the world doesn't stop because you're pregnant? Your poor bloody husband!

Slightly insensitive.

Yes she may be tired, yes she may be emotional & yes we know she is pregnant but why did you feel the need to say something so bitchy??!!

I agree that I don't really see what he has done wrong but I'm not in the situation so I keep my mouth shut..

As you should of done.

 

[Lulu90]

Was I bitchy? Fair enough.

 

[kumber]

Violet, I really, really don't mean to sound horrid but honestly how do you think second time mums+ cope? We don't get naps, we run around after one or more children all day as well as getting up loads in the night to pee. I am the first to admit that I am extremely lucky that my hubby is around to help a lot, and I stiil find it tough going.

I don't mean this to be patronising but if you think you're tired now, this is nothing to when baby gets here. It will be the most exhausted you have ever felt and your hubby and dog can't creep about the house so you can sleep. You have to learn to put up and shut up.

I really feel for your husband, it comes across on the forum that you nag him about cleaning a lot when this is the time you should be taking it easy and enjoying your last few weeks of being 100% independent. You are never going to have this freedom again! If the man wants to sit and play on the Xbox when he's finished work, does it really matter? He doesn't sound like the world's worst husband, despite how you clearly sometimes feel about him. I don't know how messy your house gets to need such a lot of cleaning when there's only two of you and a dog but it shouldn't take two of you every day when you are off on maternity. I'm not saying you should do it all at all but I do think whether it's the man or woman at home more, they should do the bulk of the cleaning. It's a bit different when baby is here of course, but fgs cross that bridge when you get to it!

I've said this in numerous responses to you, you need to chill out. You're seemingly nit-picking at the smallest, stupidest things and it's just not worth shooting your BP up over silly things like the dog barking in the garden. We're all full of raging hormones, I had a breakdown over muffins today and a screaming fit at hubby last week for not putting socks in the wash but unfortunately it's part and parcel of having a baby. To put it bluntly, I think you need to buck up a wee bit and put things into perspective. You've been trying for 2 years to have a baby and he is imminent. Who gives a fuptub about anything else like housework or dogs?!

 

[xLoulabellex]

I would second talking to him.
I mean, we as women really have a whole arson of complex emotions, all heightened by pregnancy hormones that realistically, the majority of men will find hard to comprehend.
They can be insensitive even without intentionally meaning it. My OH is wonderful to me but even sometimes I can get aggravated. However, communication has always resolved this. Pregnancy isn't all starry eyed beauty. It comes with its barbs.
I remember a specific occasion not so long ago when my OH was feeling ill. A storm had woke us up and while he got to go straight back to sleep, I was kept up for hours with a combination of his tossing and turning, snoring and foul farts. It wasn't his fault but I was so exhausted the next day that it only took one stinky fart wafting to me for me to break into tears.
Try asking him to take the dogs out to the park while you catch up on some z's. Just explain to him that you have had horrid broken sleep.
If after a completely all out honest appeal he still doesn't listen then I would agree he is being insensitive.
As for doing things for the baby, not all guys are on that level. I remember trying desperately to get mine interested at looking at baby clothes. Waste of time. Instead, I asked him to be in charge of buying the baby monitor and he got it done in his own time, and with incredible success actually, I was really surprised
Anyway, I hope all the waffling has helped. You're not the only one who cracks during pregnancy but I would just advise communication
X x

 

[Baby2sky]

I disagree with everyone else. I'd be annoyed too if I was exhausted and my hubby was (for example) downstairs winding our daughter up getting her screaming etc... My husband would have gone out somewhere to give time to rest. I don't think thats too much to ask. I also don't think that being on maternity leave means you should do most of the chores etc.

I also think hormones do play a part but I honestly think your husband is the one who needs to buck up his ideas and start changing his ways otherwise you are going to really struggle when the baby comes. I think a good talking is needed between the two of you and you need to come up with a solution which makes you (and him) happy and as less stressed as can be.

I also think lulu90s comment was harsh and bitchy so sorry you had to read that xxx

 

[Emerald rose]

I find during preganacy i always end up hating my partner. Sometimes to the point i want to punch him (i dont but the feeling is there)
I feel like he cant do anything right. Even his breathing irritates me.
He understands and just ignores me when im being bitch to him.
We did discuss this before i embarked om my surrogacy journey as i knew it would be hard on him. He agreed as soon as my bitchiness started to sleep in the spare room as i would kick him during my sleep and yell at him in my sleep aswell.
I have no idea why i get like this and even though i know i dont hate him i cant stop myself being horrid to him.

Maybe this is what your going through? After baby is born i go back to normal its like a switch goes on and i suddenly love him and want to be near him again.

 

[chitters100]

Just talk to him sweet and explain how you're feeling. You're pregnant, you're more than entitled to be a bit fed up and irritable!

 

[violet13]

I ended up in tears straight after I snapped at him, I'm 3and half hours away from family and don't have many close friends were we live so it's hard and I'm just at the point of I am done And I need just some time to myself just 5 mins of quiet just once would be nice, he didn't mean it I know that I am very hormonal and I can't seem to stop myself snapping at him and I know that's not fair on him he knows I don't mean it in trying not to snap at him but it's hard when I don't get a lot of help I don't ask for it or expect it but sometimes things really wind me up I'm struggling to sleep in constant pain and baby is pushing down a lot I've never experienced this before so I didn't know to what extent I could be emotionally or physically pushed. Sometimes all I need is a rant when things get too much for me everyone has a breaking point and honestly i don't need anymore stress as I'm getting a lot from family and people I thought I could count on. I worry I get upset he's not perfect and neither am I, I didn't mean to have a go at him but I needed to get it out of my system and this forum helps me get things out and then I talk to him about everything. We always talk about things. I just wish he'd thought I'm a grumpy mare ATM I get that but it's not like anyone else hasn't gotten angry at their OHs over silly things.

 

[violet13]

I don't care about bitchyness either but if that's how people feel please don't comment as my reply will not be nice either. I am blunt most times a spade is a spade etc I'm not forcing anyone to look at what I post so if you don't like it then just ignore it. since we moved and I got pregnant I find it difficult to rely on someone I'm really independent I know I can't do an awful lot now with being so big and being in pain (fluid on knees) so even something I loved doing which was taking a nice long walk turns into an ordeal, I'm dealing with a lady who is an absolute cow to me because I am pregnant and she can't have children as far as I'm aware which isn't my fault I'm not a nasty person I am sensitive and honestly I just want my mum just for a cuddle we're closer than ever and I do get narky I know that. I hate that I've become such a nasty person because of hormones I adore my baby and my husband but at times for an intelligent man he's a thick git.

 

[xLoulabellex]

I know exactly what the isolation feels like.
I moved countries to be with my OH and you know, it does get to you. But this is all normal. You say you don't ask for help, but perhaps you really should.
I have felt guilty as heck with OH working and having to take care of the dog where I used to, but he and I know it isn't permanent.
Just ask him to help out with one of your tasks and explain why.

 

[kumber]

Everyone needs to vent hun, there's nothing wrong with that. I can only speak for myself on this but sometimes it can get a little frustrating when there's a new thread with a new complaint very frequently. Pregnancy is a difficult time for all involved and there's a lot of times where you need to reign your tongue in, take a deep breath and step back. Exploding all the time is not going to help the situation and you will want to do that even more when your baby is here.

My hubby has asked me to pass on a message:
"Don't forget that he is new to all this too. He's just as scared and confused as you are over how you're feeling, perhaps even more so cus he has no clue what you're feeling and when so doesn't expect it when you explode. He doesn't understand where your boundaries are, what's acceptable and what's not so you need to talk with him first, not shout at him and then talk. You're not alone in this emotional roller coaster, you will be better off moaning to him than moaning to a forum full of strangers."

 

[Nicnax]

I'm irritated by my husband all the time at the moment (35 weeks), and I've nit even been particularly hormonal this pregnancy. As someone else said, even his breathing annoys me sometimes! This is baby no. 2 for me, and I wasn't like this at all first time round. This time, I have no patience, and can't be bothered with any carp from.anyone. Thankfully, he realises it's just the pregnancy, and doesn't take it personally, as I'm sure yours doesn't either. Hang in there, not long to go. Xxx

 

[Bunny432]

Your right everyone needs to vent and this forum is so supportive of that but when it's a thread every other day complaining about one thing or another someone was bound to have an opinion. Everyone has a lot going on in their lives, and we all get hormonal and irrational but I've learnt to just take time to myself before always writing a thread about it. Pregnancy is hard but it's also amazing, try and remember that and none of us doubt for one minute how much you love your baby and husband.

Really hope you're feeling better and the replies have helped you. X

 

[Baby2sky]

Hun, stop blaming yourself and calling yourself nasty etc. Its not unreasonable to need some time to yourself. Its not unreasonable to expect the one person whos in this with you to help you out. I think maybe your last sentence summed it up right. I asked my husband his opinion and he said he thought your hubby had just been a bit thick too! My husband once told me when I was pregnant with my first that it was my job to look after the baby (not drinking, smoking, eating right etc) and it was his job to take care of me (helping with house work, massages, cooking etc) and that really resonated with us as a couple. I think there is no right or wrong in a relationship, but both parties need to be happy with how things are otherwise resentment creeps in. It needs to be addressed now as if its not, things will get worse when the baby comes and you will feel more and more alone and exhausted. Afterall, the baby belongs to both of you.

 

[Baby2sky]

She should be free to post as many threads as she likes! This is a forum for support and help, and may be she has nobody else to turn to with her worries? I find some attitudes really shocking. Yes she posts a lot of threads but if it winds you up just ignore the threads instead of making her feel like shit for posting? God this forum has really changed since I was first pregnant.

 

[Bunny432]

^^^^ awesome post

I meant the first one aha just seen the second one now.
Everyone's also entitled to an opinion baby2sky - I haven't for one minute been nasty to the girl. Unfortunately when you write on a public forum you'll have people saying things you like and don't like, especially 100's of hormonal women haha x

 

[Baby2sky]

I don't think anyone has been nasty - except lulu90. Just my opinion that if people get fed up with certain posts just ignore them.