funniest thing you did in labour?

[Urchin]

the old thread is here clicky

I found it by looking up me saying "epidural" and "whatever" cos I shouted "YEAH WHATEVER" at the lady who came to apologise for being too late to give me an epidural

 

[rhian85]

I sang " the wheels on the bus" for 3 hours through my contractions, despite my mum telling me to change the song everytime i burst into it.

I also did a poo and asked if he was out yet, the midwife looked at me told me that i had done an accident and not to worry the baby would be the one coming next.
I laid back down started to giggle and shouted " oh well sh*t happens"......lol, thats when my mum wanted to crawl into a hole.

thats brilliant!! punnage at a time like that you need a medal!!

i agree....fran..thats a classic im PMSL at this

 

[1sttimemum]

I laid back down started to giggle and shouted " oh well sh*t happens"......lol, thats when my mum wanted to crawl into a hole.

Classic

 

[evemarie8]

the old thread is here clicky

I have just read through all 7 pages of that thread and now I am actually crying with laughter!

 

[Squiglet]

there was at least 3 hours of this....



I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME....I WANT TO GO HOME.... You get the idea... and then....


No...No...no...no....no....no....no....no....no....no....no....no....no....nooo.... when they gave me the drip to make my contractions stronger....


Oooo and I can understand Spanish perfectly when in Labour I just loose the ability to speak it... DH said the oddest thing was when Nancy came in...she only spoke Spanish and I was responding to her in English and DH was translating for her omiting many swear words

 

[Red_Fairy]

with my first, the gas n air kicked in and i started to confess to my mum it feels and sounds like when i took magic mushrooms a few years ago (id rather i hadnt have told her that lol)

with my second it has to be when the midwife told me i was only 4cm when i was in soo much pain, i started screaming that i NEEDED the ep, so she left the room to go and get the guy, right at that point i needed to push, so got on all fours and started pushing - My OH shit himself saying i wasnt ready and started man handeling me to not push and lay down - well i just lost it and basicly started wrestling him big time. (while screaming somthing like 'get the fuck off me NOW or ill f'ing kill you) (i actually dont ever swear!) The midwife came in and recued me, as i was right - babys head was crowning!!
bloody OH...

 

[ninjawomble]

these are great!

I just know Im gonna be completely mental! I cant wait!

 

[Hazel]

I dread to think what I'll be like when I'm giving birth.

I had an operation a couple of years ago and when on the operating table they gave me an injection before anaesthetic. The man asked me what my favourite song was to keep me occupied and I told that I'm not allowed to sing at home (I'm a famously terrible singer) and proceeded to belt out "I will survive at the top of my voice" . First thing they said to me when I came round after was thet everyone enjoyed my singing

 

[Kimbo]

There was a song on the radio - cant remember what it was called but had the line "Total ecstacy" and i sung that,

Then when Caitlyn was getting distressed, the doc wanted some blood off of her head, when she went up there, i thought i said it quietly but apparently not, i told my partner it felt like when he goes too far up me

omg i remember that feeling when they were scratching her head lol!

think mine was telling the anaesthetist (sp!) that i loved him

 

[sarah113]

i was high on gas and air with my first and i saw bugs all crawling on the celling (but there wasnt)
with my 3rd i was fully dilated at home and she examined me on my sofa and said i was and then said you can have the baby here and i said no im not i have just washed the sofa yesterday (it was a cream sofa)

 

[NIE]

I shouted....."ya b******s you have moved that button"

I was on my own as the MV told me I wasn't in labour and didn't call my hubby, so I kept shouting for company. They said they didn't by I couldn't find it.

When my hubby arrived they told him that I was very noisy and swore a lot. Just as well I work in the hospital and the staff saw the funny side. xxx

 

[trixipaws]

with my first, the gas n air kicked in and i started to confess to my mum it feels and sounds like when i took magic mushrooms a few years ago (id rather i hadnt have told her that lol)

lol me too! my boyf said he felt so embarrassed coz i was saying "i feel like iv had about ten pills" infront of the MWs and i didnt shut up there i was saying something like "u kno when we used to eat 5 or 6 pills and completely get f***ed" and he was thinking "sssssssssshh!" hehe

 

[Krystal]

with my first, the gas n air kicked in and i started to confess to my mum it feels and sounds like when i took magic mushrooms a few years ago (id rather i hadnt have told her that lol)

lol me too! my boyf said he felt so embarrassed coz i was saying "i feel like iv had about ten pills" infront of the MWs and i didnt shut up there i was saying something like "u kno when we used to eat 5 or 6 pills and completely get f***ed" and he was thinking "sssssssssshh!" hehe

I thought that too, it wasn;t something I said but all I kept think was friend1 & friend2 would love this! It's like being wrecked. Those 2 friends are ones I used to take pills with in my younger days. I can't believe in the throws of labour I was thinking about them 2

 

[Jen & Her Men]

I started gibbering utter rubbish when I was on gas and air and then realised I was gibbering utter rubbish and started giggling to myself and then couldnt stop!! DH and Mum thought I had gone insane!!!

I also told DH during my epidural that I was expecting the biggest, bestest present ever for all I was going through.... Apparently the midwives thought it was hilarious!! I dont remember!!

 

[Melanie]

I felt so sorry for my poor Hungarian midwife who was trying her best to understand the mad English nutter i became during labour. My epidural didnt work, the needle moved so they had to give me morphine to reposition it. I remember telling the midwife that my arse felt heavy and i was going to sleep now. She was saying "no sleep you are having baby now", i looked at her and said "yeah about that, i've decided to do it tomorrow instead.

 

[leckershell]

with my first, the gas n air kicked in and i started to confess to my mum it feels and sounds like when i took magic mushrooms a few years ago (id rather i hadnt have told her that lol)

lol me too! my boyf said he felt so embarrassed coz i was saying "i feel like iv had about ten pills" infront of the MWs and i didnt shut up there i was saying something like "u kno when we used to eat 5 or 6 pills and completely get f***ed" and he was thinking "sssssssssshh!" hehe

I was saying to Nat in front of the midwife that it felt like being stoned and I seem to remember her agreeing??

"yeah about that, i've decided to do it tomorrow instead.

Me I think my worst was singing "Under the Sea" Little Mermaid style cos Nat and the midwifes were saying I was like a little mermaid (completely naked in birth pool) and I was like, oh like under the sea? Then started singing it... lmao

 

[Foxxi]

Started shouting at the top of my voice 'CORNED BEEF'! wtf

And kept repeating the Hastings Direct telephone number from the advert '0800 00 1066'

I was adament that the gas and air was running out as well.... till the midwife directed the tube back into my gob!

 

[fran_23]

i talked to my sister about this last night and she told me that despite my memories where i think i was being lovely and polite to everyone- she remembers offering me a drink a short while before my mum decided i really needed to go to the hospital and i said "cant you just f*ck off? do i look like i want a f*ckiing drink?" then i was on all fours and my mum was on the phone to the labour ward and they wanted to talk to me but i was having a contraction and i said really loudly "i dont want to talk to them i'm in too much pain- tell them to f*ck off mum" and the midwife siad "yeah def bring her in" so my dad tried to get me up from all fours and i burst out crying and said "please daddy i cant f*cking move"

haha i didn't remember any of that at all- i thought i was very quiet and polite

 

[leckershell]

And kept repeating the Hastings Direct telephone number from the advert '0800 00 1066'

You know that rings a bell here too.. honestly..!

 

[Foxxi]

And kept repeating the Hastings Direct telephone number from the advert '0800 00 1066'

You know that rings a bell here too.. honestly..!

Rings a bell