did u do/say any thing embarrassing in labour?

[Dee1985]

i said some right embaressing things

with Dior i was drugged up sitting up in bed moaning and groaning and said to the midwife

"do i look like the girl from exercist"
and when the doc came to top up my epidural i said to him
"oh iv never wanted a man as much as i waned u"
lol the gas and air had got to my head

with Harley i was in total pain with no pain relef i was shouting
"i dont want this baby any more"
and was saying to the midwife at 10cm ready to push
"u cant make me push, i dont want toand i acualy crossed my legs like a spoilt brat"

and i was crying and sobbing like a lil baby for my mummy

 

[Lou]

LMAO

I asked for my teeth to be removed so I could get the gas and air pipe in my mouth more!!!

I also asked the man who delivered Isaac how many stitches I had and he said "199" and I said " you should have rounded it up to 200".

lol

 

[Dee1985]

hahaha i still cringe now thinging about it lol

 

[Rosieroo]

Can't you just pull it out? (when the head came out)

I want to go home! I'm too tired (been in hosp 10 mins!)

 

[Dee1985]

hahaha i can see this thread making me wet my self laughing

 

[emma1976]

Ummmm, "I'm going to poo!!!!!!!!!!" and then when I did I said "Oh God there's a floater you've missed" Good old gas n air eh? LOL xxxxxxxxxx

 

[Duds]

lol they are so funny


I kept going on about my piles popping out but the most embarrasing thing was when she had a "feel" around to see how dilated I was she said "your uterus is nice a stretchy" and I said "oh yes well I have been massaging it every day with olive oil" !!

Everyone burst out laughing - except me !


oh and iv just thought of something else.... I couldnt seem to take the gas and air i kept holding it like a ciggarette and trying to smoke it and blow it out then when OH and midwife took the p*ss i tried to throw it across the room.

 

[michelle82]

when they were stitching me up as i had an episiotomy i was using gas and air and started telling the dr they should open a gas and air bar as it was better than getting drunk!!!!!

 

[Dee1985]

duds that is to funny im cringing for u

hahahaha

 

[Urchin]

When the "epidural lady" (as I called her) turned up too late (when I was 9cm) she started explaining how she was really sorry it took her so long but.....

I just sat up and shouted "Yeah WHATEVER"

 

[Lou]

This thread is hillarious.

Oh and apparently they DO have bars in Japan called air bars where you can get high on gas and air. Just think...no kebabs or fights on the way home after a night out! genious.

Jarrod told me just now that when I was pushing I did a big trump and when I apologised to the midwife she said to me "compared to sleeping with a husband who suffers from irritable bowel syndrome that was a breath of fresh air" lol

Lou

 

[Rosieroo]

Oooh I remember something else

Me: "Have I weed myself?"

DH: "No"

Me: "Have I pooed myself?"

DH: "No!"

Me "THEN WHAT'S THAT SMELL!!!!"

It was my waters. Never expected them to smell so 'meaty'!

 

[Hypnorm]

i don't remeber saying any thing funny - but i started inhaling the gas and air the wrong way - i was breathing in round the tube and then blowing out through it and couldn't understand why it still hurt. in the end hubby took gas off me coz i was a bit high - i was seeing double - great stuff!!

 

[beanie]

Before when I was examined the third time and I had told the midwife I was fed up of being in slow labour, she said I was 2cm but perhaps I was 3 as her fingers were quite fat but I just burst out crying and told her she was a liar. I also asked if I had pooed and kept apologising for being rubbish at giving birth.

The gas and air was great, I refused to go to delivary as it meant I had to let gop of my gas and air, when they eventually got me into the wheelchair I kept telling the poor porter to put her foot down before my next contraction.

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

i bit my mums boob
and asked the doc for a c-section and she sed for 20,000 i could have one so i told my dad to move his fat f'''' in arse to the back lol 40 mins later B was here!
and wen i was having my stictches they couldnt put local anethsetic in all the places and one the doc did i kicked her coz it stung lol

 

[Duds]

LOL These are great - good subject Dionne


Im having flash backs now - thought of something else... because I couldnt feel the contractions due to the epidural I was having real difficulty pushing & was pretty pathetic at it.
I managed to do a good push (according to the MW) & she said "right do what you did last time" to which I told her "I was pretending to sh*t"
then at the last hurdle she started shouting
"shit for me.... come on " ! It put me off !

 

[Adele]

Nearing the end of my labour I remember shouting out between gasps of gas and air "how can anyone compare this to a fucking tattoo?!" infront of my sister, my mom and 2 midwives

 

[ToriElla]

I just said the usual things:

"I hate them" (about the midwives)
"I'm going to die"
"help help"
"don't ask me questions when i'm having a contraction"
"don't stare at me when i'm having a contraction"
"don't yawn when i'm having a contraction" (yes DH WAS yawning )

haha this thread keeps making me laugh! x

 

[Lou]

lol

When I first got to the hospital I was having strong contractions so I got on the gas and air straight away. After about an hour my sister came up to see me. She said I was sat on the birthing ball pissing myself laughing and telling everyone to shush incase they threw me out for having a good time! Jarrod also got on the gas and air and he said that when he walked to the toilet for a wee he felt like he was in a nightclub!

Isn't it funny how it all comes back to you?!

Lou

 

[bubble_dreamer]

lmao im in tears this post has cracked me up

only things i distinctly remember were

'you should bottle this n sell it you would make a bloody fortune for the nhs' - talkin about gas & air

and my other half aksing me mid contraction 'do you want another one now?' needless to say i promptly told himwhere to go and wasnt to polite about it neither